Category Archives: weekend

birth art and other weekend adventures

It’s amazing what one can do when there is no work to be done over the weekend and no out-of-town guests to host. J and I were beside ourselves on Saturday when we awoke and discovered we could do whatever we wanted. I didn’t touch my computer–the thing that has been attached to me for at least eight hours a day for months on end. We just enjoyed ourselves doing little things I’ve had on my to-do lists for ages.

One of the things I have wanted to do since I read Birthing from Within is to spend some time creating birth art. She has some wonderful prompts that are great for working through pregnancy and birth. I’m a terrible painter, but I still love doing it, and we finally had time. Here are a few samples, and some appear to be blurry. Oh well.

The first is from a prompt asking me to depict what it will like for me to be in birth. In the end, I came up with a wave. I’m resting on the wave; I’m riding the wave, and eventually, I’m birthing within the wave. Here’s what that looks like:

Birth Wave

Birth Wave

The next is something of a self-portrait:


And, while this looks like a hurricane, it’s a practice in me visualizing my cervix opening, or rather, an abstraction thereof:


My wife created this piece, which I love. It’s our birth with her, my mom, a midwife, and me (the naked one)

Women with Wild Hair

Women with Wild Hair

And J insists that I share this photo she caught of me painting. I’m wearing what I call my tomato shirt. When I wear it, I appear as though I’m 18 months pregnant (or a giant tomato), but it covers my belly, and that’s more than can be said for most of my shirts these days:

T is for Tomato

T is for Tomato

Saturday morning, we went to one of our favorite local farms to get some tomatoes, eggs, and such, and we walked around their flower gardens–so beautiful. Here I am with the fields of sunflowers, zinnia, and more:


And some of the flowers:



We even found a yardsale–a multi-family yardsale–which turned out to be a family yardsale–three different families of lesbians. What fun! I’m telling you, it was a great weekend for this sort of thing.

By the time we got home, it was time for me to make my Chicken Tortilla Soup, so I spent some time up and cooking, and I also had some of my first productive-seeming contractions. I had to sit and breathe through them, and I felt some good pressure. This prompted us to pack our bags for the hospital. It feels good to have that done, even though Egghead isn ‘t showing any new signs of making his grand entrance soon. Later in the evening, a friend came over to take photos of me, and I’ll share those once I’ve processed them (within a day or two). It was such a lovely time, and it’s great to have some photos so close to Egghead’s arrival. It was a lovely day all around.

Today, we have a midwife appointment, and I get to have my hair cut. More updates to come, but I just had to share because it feels so damn good to have something positive to write about, to feel this lightness about me. I am so grateful for all of these moments.


Filed under weekend

and the party goes on


Don’t you love a cheesy soft-focus photo of a wedding cake? No? Nor do I, but it’s a requisite photo we needed in our scrapbook, so you get to share in the glory both here and in my new header.


We went to my parents’ house this weekend. The people who were once J’s outlaws are now here official inlaws, and they wanted to celebrate.

So Saturday, we celebrated. We started the day with breakfast and mimosas. The parents surprised us with money to get J’s car back. This was something we have been refusing for over a month now, but as J said, they make it fairly difficult to turn it down when it’s wrapped in a bow in the guise of a wedding gift. And so we will soon become a two-car household once again, which is good because our other car just hit 200,000 miles and she’s tired.

Our celebration continued at a local lake where we swam and had a beer and generally enjoyed one another’s company. Later, my sister joined in on the festivities as well. She still has not had her baby, and she’s amazingly spry still. I was impressed. I felt her baby a few times. Anytime I put my hand on her belly, the baby moved for me. This made me like her.

At some point during this lovely relaxing day, we were called out to my stepdad’s garden for a surprise. Let me preface this with some explanation, though. My stepdad is an aging hippy, a master carpenter who built their house (twice–it burnt down in a forest fire the first time), and he is also a yard artist. Their home is in the country on top of a knoll with oak trees and pine trees. On their four acres, they have all different kinds of metal sculptures, recycle art, and cement garden boarders made into shapes like ankhs, pentagrams, the wheel of the year, and so forth. He’s always got some cool new sculpture going. He’s always pouring concrete and drawing things in it. And so, when we were called out to the garden, we were presented with a blank palate of freshly-poured concrete, handed some screwdrivers for the carving, and we commemorated our new wedding date. We were incredibly touched, and we made a lovely carving.

Later, after we had gone back out to touch it up, we came back in to discover wedding decorations and a cake complete with two brides (Cindarellas, to be precise), bubbles, champagne, and my sweet family wanting to continue celebrating with us. Have I mentioned they’re great? They are.

That day was lovely, and the next was too. The parents took us golfing on Sunday morning, which was great fun.

When we returned, we found in our email inbox an email from our former mentor where we used to live. She has lived with a “comanion” for many years, and she informed us that she and her partner had been married after a 30-year commitment. This was the first she has ever come out to us–to anyone we know at all–and we were so thrilled and touched.

And so J and I are still getting choked up on a nearly daily basis because this groundbreaking moment in California is so very touching and real and beautiful. I still can’t quite believe that we are a part of it.

For those of you tired of the wedding topics, there are many more things I’ll blog about soon: our new healthy lifestyle, the fires, my soon-to-be-born niece, seeing the Indigo Girls tonight, and more. Stay tuned! 



Filed under celebrations, family, marriage, wedding, weekend

skipping town


J and I are off to see the family this weekend. It will be nice to get out of town and celebrate a bit. We’ll be back in a few days!



Filed under weekend

diversions galore (with pictures!)

As you all may have noticed via Friday’s post, I have an amazing wife. This weekend, J set out to distract me from the negatives, and she was quite successful. Here’s our weekend play-by-play (or something of the sort):

Friday, we were both feeling restless. I think I knew I’d get my period that day, and I think J did too. We started the day with the idea that we would get into the car and let us take it where it wanted to go. There are so many parts of our new county that we haven’t yet explored, so wherever it went was sure to be good. We ended up on this road toward a natural hotsprings resort (not open yet 😦 ), and we found a winery that I’ve been looking for since we moved here. We went there years ago on a wine-tasting trip with my mom, and it’s lovely. The place has okay wine, but what it’s really known for are its lavender products and gardens.


Don\'t you want to jump on these things?

This was a delightful surprise, and we spent at least an hour perusing the gardens. They aren’t yet blooming, but we were excited to see what they look like before they’re filled with lavender blossoms. We chased dragonflies, trying to get photos of them (no luck), and we fantasized about hopping from one rounded lavender bush to the next. After awhile, we did go taste some wine and were waited on by the queeniest man. (For some reason, older queer men tend not to like us. What is that all about? What did we do to them?) The wine was not great, but the experience was lovely.

Afterward, we were starving, so we went for barbecue at what is touted as our county’s best barbecue. We sat on a patio overlooking a creek, complete with an old-fashioned water wheel; drank beers, and ate what we thought was our county’s best barbecue thus far. Then it was on to our very favorite winery to pick up this month’s wine club shipment and off to home to swim because it was hot! For being CD1, it wasn’t a bad day at all.

Saturday, we were determined to continue with the diversions, so we opted to head out to some of our local farms to get some nice veggies. The first we stopped at was connected to this organization. We bought the most beautiful (and huge!) eggs, mustard greens, green garlic, and wonderfully stubby little carrots–all for something like five dollars. We were thrilled. Then we went here. We’ve been waiting for this barn store to open up since we moved here, and it didn’t disappoint. We got ourselves the most delicious salad greens, basil, chives, sugar snap peas, and more that I can’t remember at the moment. We can’t wait until the veggies and fruits really start coming on because we’ve found a number of u-pick farms where we can’t wait to go pick out our own foods. Since apartment living doesn’t permit much more than container gardening, this should give us the fingers-in-soil fix that we both need.

But this trek was not over once we had our produce. Oh no. We then opted to discover some places we had always been curious about. We stopped at this “inn and spa,” which we knew we would never be able to afford, and pretended to scope out wedding locations for my brother. Instead, we were snooping and taking great photos:                                      


Later that day, we needed cheese. And since I was decidedly not pregnant, I could get as adventurous as I wanted. We went to our favorite local gourmet market, got a few lovely and unpasteurized (!) cheeses, along with a bit of wine, and we proceeded to have a lovely picnic on our balcony in the sweltering heat. Afterward, we had yet another swim. The pool is going to save us this year.

Yesterday was more of a coming down day. We went to UU where there was a terrible guest speaker talking about some sort of Presbyterian view of feminism and homosexuality. I tuned out. It felt too much like church did when I was a kid. We did meet some lovely people though, and we’re starting to feel even more at home there than we thought we would.

Reality did set in Sunday evening. My sister is due to give birth sometime in early June, and when we were on our cruise, one of her friends threw her a surprise baby shower. The surprise was on us as well because we didn’t find out until a week before we were to leave on our trip, so we’ve opted to do a very small, very intimate family thing–a baby welcoming if you will. This means my mom and sister and my brother’s soon-to-be fiance will come to our place, and we’ll do something special. Well, J and I started planning this thing last night. It was hard. There I was with my horrific cramps, trying to come up with songs for a baby welcoming CD, and we both just welled up with tears. It’s going to be beautiful; don’t get me wrong. I’m surprising her with a photo shoot; mom’s getting her a mani/pedi; we’re planning some cool pagan welcomimng rituals. It’s all going to be lovely. But this also brings on all of those ugly jealous feelings, those longings to welcome our baby. It’s such a sticky place to be in. The upside of all of this is that we’ll have just inseminated when this event takes place. Perhaps it will bring us some much-needed luck on our second-to-last cycle with Mr. G.

While my diversions this weekend were welcome, one can only escape reality for so long. Truth be told, I’m not pregnant. No matter how much I want to be, no matter how many fake symptoms I felt, I’m not. Today, I’m once again, refocusing (how many times have I said that damn word–that phrase–on this blog?) so that I can spend the next couple of weeks making really great eggs. But I’m giving myself until Wednesday to enjoy the wine. Oh the lovely California wine.

 Happy Monday, everyone!



Filed under diversions, family, J, weekend