Category Archives: symptoms

the incredible shrinking symptoms

The worst of my symptoms are starting to taper off. This freaked me out yesterday. I’m supposed to be appalled at the odor of dinner cooking. I’m supposed to be near tears every time I take off my bra. That hasn’t been happening since we have come back from our trip. Honestly, it’s a little scary.

But there is this rational side of me who knows that tomorrow I am eleven weeks and that this is around the time that symptoms do start to taper off. I don’t have any negative signs at all, no cramping, no spotting–nothing like that. And I’m still plenty tired. I can take a nap within an hour or two of waking up in the morning. I still have to wake up at least once in the night to pee, but not five times. See? It’s a little nerve-racking.

Most of me knows that everything is likely just fine and that I should not be complaining about feeling well, but I can’t help but allow some of the anxiety to creep in.

Tomorrow is our next OB appointment. Hopefully that will bring us some peace. We don’t plan to have another scan just yet (our insurance isn’t paying for them, and we can’t afford $150 every time we go to the doctor), but if we have to, if the doctor suspects a problem, I suppose we will. Honestly, it would be really nice to have an uneventful check-up where everything is completely normal. That’s what I want.

Ugh. I’m so ready to feel confident about all of this.

On another more humorous note, I tend to feel my uterus when I lie in bed at night and when I shower in the morning. When I am standing, it feels higher, and it’s really amazing. Occasionally, I make J feel it too, so yesterday, as I was realizing it was quite a bit higher than before (yes, I know this should reassure me). She did, and then she sort of jerked her hand back and wrinkled her nose.

I asked her what was wrong and she told me that while she thought it was really cool, it was still an organ. She doesn’t know how she feels about touching organs. She has no problem resting her hand on my belly, and she does it with great regularity, especially when we’re cuddling at night, but I think the uterus is going to have to take on its rounder, more familiar form before she is very comfortable feeling it directly. And I can guarantee that once she starts feeling some movement in there, she’ll not be able to keep her hands off of the organ.

Have I mentioned lately that I love my wife? I do.

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Filed under anxiety, symptoms, the P word

pregnant. period.

Early this morning, I had a dream that I was taking this digital pregnancy test, and the “not” kept flashing on and off. Eventually, it leveled out and stayed off, and I left the bathroom to tell J. At that point I awoke, and I was so utterly bummed. This seems to happen nearly every test morning. I have a dream that it’s positive, and I awake to test negative.

So, I trudged to the bathroom, cracked open the test, and went about my business. I set the test on my leg, waiting for an answer, and suddenly, it was there. Just one word:

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I bounded out of the bathroom, and started turning on lights, saying, “Oh my god! Oh my god!” J shot up from bed and said, “What’s wrong? What’s going on?” She was utterly confused. Until I showed her the test (after fumbling with more lights). I collapsed on the bed with her crying and laughing. Needless to say, we have not gone back to sleep. We’re so excited, and yet I’m also nervous as hell that the next test I take will have that dreaded word “not” in it. I took the test apart, though, and the test line was nice and dark.

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I’ll take another test this evening since I need to use the other one up anyway, and I’ll make some sort of doctor’s appointment today, and, and, and…

The list of symptoms for those interested:

  • sore boobs, but a more through-and-through soreness than usual
  • hints of nausea
  • weepinesss
  • irritability
  • crampiness

I also had some weird sort of hot flash the other day in the grocery store, after which I was shaky and weak. That would have been 10dpo, and I would say it was my first sign.

Holy shit. I’m pregnant.

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Filed under symptoms, testing, ttc

not again

I know I said I wouldn’t talk about symptoms, and technically, I’m not. I’ve got super sore boobs. It’s about the same time they showed up last cycle–a week before my period. Considering my history, this probably means I’m not pregnant; of course, there’s always the chance that this time, they’re sore for another reason, but I just can’t go there again.

I would like a short vacation from my body, please. A week will do. Is that too much to ask? I’ll be happy to return once the insanity of the coming week subsides. Thanks.

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Filed under symptoms, TWW

On the Road

 We’re here in the city where we plan to move in a few months. We got here late, but already J has gotten a lead on some potential child advocacy work. She was also offered a job pouring wine at a winery we stopped at on the way here. Things are going well.  

We’re both utterly exhausted after our week from hell, but we’re having a nice time connecting, enjoying some down time and the prospect of discovering some areas we may want to live. The hospitality person at the winery where we stopped made some suggestions for communities to visit that are smaller and a little less expensive near the city where we’re currently staying, so we’re going to see how we like them, so we’ll check those out tomorrow too. This place is definitely far more of a city than we’re accustomed to (our town has maybe 7,000 people, while this one had more like 150,000), with all of the traffic and congestion that comes with that, but we’re open to learning about the area. It’s all part of the adventure that we’re looking forward to. 

On the TTC front, I admit I’ve had a little wine today, but I’m okay with it. So many of my straight, coupled friends who have gotten pregnant have drank until they found out, and while I am dedicated to being as healthy as possible, I also know that if I do find out I’m pregnant, it will all be okay as long as I don’t keep this up. Hell, one of those women got rip-roaring drunk with me just a couple of nights before she found out she was pregnant with #2 (and had apparently done the same before she found out about #1). I know I don’t have to defend myself. I think I’m trying to assuage any guilt I may feel in the future about this. For now, it’s helping me wind down, and at this point, reducing the stress I’ve been under is probably just about as important as avoiding toxins. Alas, I’m a sucker for good wine. What can I say?  

Also on that front, for those interested in obsessive behavior, I’ve been a little crampy today with no signs of a period. It could be something; it could be nothing. The fact stands, I’ve had some cramps, whatever that may mean. 

For now, I’m off to bed and will post tomorrow with exciting tales of our adventures in this city.

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Filed under exploring, new beginnings, new city, symptoms, TWW