Category Archives: second trimester

J’s Second Trimester Recap

Several of the books we’re reading and websites we frequent tell us we are kissing our second trimester goodbye this week; T just hit 26 weeks, which means it’s been ten weeks since last I posted. Time for another recap.

Honestly, I’m in a bit of denial about heading into the third trimester. T’s second trimester has been pretty blissful for us. We’ve gotten to enjoy lots of quality time together nesting, shopping, and talking about our hopes, our dreams, our plans for our family. We walk, talk, go to farmer’s market, sit in the baby’s room and touch his clothes (is this weird?). Initially I felt very guilty for being out of work while T was pregnant. I did look for a job for the first three months, but I didn’t get a single bite. However, since I’m still bringing in money through the online scoring gig and my occassional unemployment benefits, and considering I do the majority of the house chores, we’ve found that it has worked out just right for us. I get to be at home tending to my wife, and we’re not living in a van down by the river, so for that I’m grateful. Obviously this will not do once the baby is here. I’ll need to go back to work, even if I’m not offered classes for the fall, but for the mean time, I can’t tell you how happy I’ve been to dote on my wife and prepare for the baby.

T has slowed down quite a bit. She tried to push it a few times while out hiking and paid dearly for it. We still walk, but shorter distances and not as fast. We go to the pool from time to time, and when necessary, I suggest ways we can get out of the house and enjoy the warmer weather. She’s been amenable to all of my suggestions and has a positive attitude about most things. I say most things because there is one thing T does not like; she doesn’t like me drinking. Even though I’ve given up my wilder ways, she still can’t stand when I have more than two beers/glasses of wine. I rarely do it, mind you, but on those rare occasions when I do, the shit hits the fan. Other than those very rare  blow ups, we’ve been getting on great. We’re both excited about all the new developments with her pregnancy and look forward to each new discovery.

The highlights for me have been feeling the baby kick and watching my wife transform into a living embodiment of the mother goddess. Seriously. She’s the most beautiful person on the face of the earth, and I’m a lucky lady. I try to show her this by rubbing her feet or painting her toenails, rubbing lotion on her belly, picking her flowers or making her special foods that she likes (right now it’s iced coffee–decaf, of course). I don’t say this to glorify myself but to tell you that it’s really all I can do as the non-pregnant person. I can’t grow this baby, but I can honor my wife for the difficult work of gestating him for both of us. She is doing what I cannot, and because of this, we get to have a baby in three months. Thank you, T!

Weird thing: she smells different. I know her scent; I love her scent, especially first thing in the morning, but now she either smells like vitamins, smells like this awful sandalwood lotion she bought (but has since stopped wearing), or doesn’t smell at all. I find myself burying my nose in her neck, her bosom, her hair, anywhere just to get a whiff of my wife. Still no luck. This pregnancy has changed a lot about her physically, but the one thing I really don’t like is how it changed her smell.

I have changed a lot myself. As I said above, I gave up my wilder ways, including smoking, excessive drinking, and smoking weed, which was something I had always considered pretty harmless in the grand scheme of things. However, I just wasn’t comfortable doing it anymore, so I went into the woods and “donated” a large cannister of marijuana. Don’t know if it went to a good home, but I hope so. I’ve also let go of a lot of baggage I was holding onto from my own childhood. There’s a lot of growing to be done in pregnancy, even when you’re not the pregnant one. It’s been so good for both of us. I’m more present, less prone to outbursts or moping, and we’re more connected than ever, which is so vital right now.

We have a lot to look forward to: an old friend is coming to visit next week with her 18 month old; our girlfriend baby blessing in Humboldt is in a few weeks; our best friend is getting married in July; there’s a family campout sometime over the summer; another shower in August, and then we’re hunkering down for the last month. I don’t know what the third trimester will bring, but if we welcome it with the awe and respect we did the first six months of this pregnancy, then I can predict lots of growth, more wonderful togetherness, and maybe one or two fights about my third glass of wine. Joy. Whatever comes, I hope we remain happy, healthy, and somehow manage to prepare ourselves for the adventure of our lifetimes.

Thanks for reading.

J

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