Category Archives: Ramblings

38 week ramblings

This morning I awoke to my wife spooning me with her hand on my belly. She was marveling that she and Egghead were both awake, and I was still sound asleep. They were having some sweet morning time together as I imagine they might once he’s born. We spent the next half an hour letting Egghead know what he’s got to look forward to on the outside. We talked about everything from books to food to family adventures. He seemed to enjoy the conversation; we just hope we were convincing.

Today we  hit 38 weeks. We’re officially two weeks from our due date. Time is just flying by. I guess we’re just not one of those families for whom the ninth month is the slowest. We have just had so much to do! I occasionally have some contractions when I am up and around. Unfortunatley, I’m still chained to my computer for six hours a day until the end of the week, so finding the time to be up and around has been a little challenging. We’re trying to fit in small walks whenever we can. Sadly, my horrid pubic bone pain is also preventing me from spending a lot of time walking. Oh how I miss my long walks. I’m going to welcome them so much once he’s born.

We’re starting to field many more phonecalls from family. Whereas my mom and I typically only talk on the phone once a week, now she’s calling every other day. My brother, who usually calls me once a month, is now calling me on a weekly basis. Even my dad, who never calls is starting to call me every few weeks. It’s a little funny, but I do find their excitement endearing. Hell, we’re excited too.

I think it’s safe to say we’re in full-on nesting mode. My wife scrubbed the counter tops yesterday, and today we got up and immediately started organizing food and spices in the kitchen cabinets. She recently shampooed the carpets, and I’m just waiting for her to begin washing the walls. The woman is on fire. Of course, I keep seeing these projects that I am just dying to do too–things that are sort of my thing but are impossible with a gargantuan belly in the way, but I don’t want to wear my wife out, so I am trying to let them go.

My work scales back quite a lot as of Friday. I’ll be down to three hours a day, five days a week, which I’m looking forward to. The job I have is an online educational support position, and mostly I respond to student essays, train new instructors, and screen new employees, although I occasionally work in live chat rooms with students. It is a job that I can literally keep doing until I go into labor. I even spoke with one woman who worked with live students through her early labor! This is not something I will do, but it really is possible. I will probably try to start working again two weeks after Egghead’s arrival. It will be a challenge, but because I can work my three hours a day from home at any time and in any increments, I’m hoping it will be a good way to keep my brain functioning (and a little bit of a paycheck coming in).

My mom is coming for a quick overnight visit tomorrow, which will be lovely. She wants to celebrate my upcoming birthday and take us out to dinner. We are not complaining. This also gives us an opportunity to debrief before the big day so that we can discuss with her what we’ve been learning in birth class, what some of our preferences are for the birth, what roles she can play and so on. It’s like a little birth team meeting! That and I think she’s delivering a bunch of new diaper covers. Woohoo!

I keep reading that I’m going to start having trouble sleeping, but I honestly sleep pretty well. I am forever going to advocate that pregnant women sleep on memory foam mattresses, for this has saved me and my hips. So has my body pillow. My only real discomforts in the night are my pubic bone pain (which is resolved by flopping my top leg over the body pillow), the once-a-night heartburn wake-up call (the T.ums are right by the bed), and the regular need to pee. Peeing, though, is no big deal. I have mastered the art of napping while on the toilet, and getting out of bed is also an easy way for me to move the body pillow so that I can easily sleep on my other side. In other words, I’ve gotten very efficient at dealing with any and all nighttime annoyances, so I sleep really well right through the night. I’m told this can still change, and I accept that, but for now, I’m pleased since I know very well that full nights of sleep will soon be a distant memory.

We have started to make some food to freeze. Last weekend, I made a tasty chicken tortilla soup, and we froze a bunch of it. Today I’ll make a bunch of marinara sauce to freeze. We don’t have much freezer space, but even making up these little things will help when it comes to needing food when we’re too harried/tired/overwhelmed to cook. Casserole type dishes are out of the question  due to lack of space (although I might have to throw together some enchiladas), but if you have any suggestions for shortcut meal ideas that we can partially prep now, we’ll welcome them!

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Filed under Ramblings, the P word

musings

I’m sitting here eating grapes from the biggest most perfect bunch of red grapes I’ve ever seen. Believe it or not, this is my first taste of local grapes (that aren’t fermented, bottled, and aged). I don’t know how I made it through last year living amongst hundreds of vineyards without eating local grapes, but this year, I have vowed to have many. If my wife would only fan me with palm fronds and feed them to me, I might then feel like a true fertility goddess.

~~~

When we attended our special, lesbians-only childbirth class session on Wednesday, our instructor asked why we were delivering at the hospital we had chosen. Both of us looked blankly at one another and told her we thought that was where our OB/midwife practice delivered. No, she assured us, that is their backup location for those whose insurance will not cover the big, new, fancy hospital where she works–the one with big rooms with windows overlooking a garden and showers in the rooms. Our state insurance will cover us anywhere. We’re now taking a tour of the big, fancy hospital in a week.

~~~

My pubic bone pain has reached an all-time high. It hurts for me to turn over in bed, put on my pants, and so much more. After a long break from yoga, I did a 40-minute session yesterday only to put myself in more pain, so much pain that I now need an icepack between my legs. It’s looking like I’m developing something called symphysis pubis dysfunction despite my doc’s claim that this is all the normal stretching of ligaments. It may be time to find a chiropractor.

~~~

After months of no strangers acknowledging my pregnancy (something about which I am decidedly not complaining), I now cannot leave the house without hearing the standard series of questions: When are you due? Do you know what you’re having? Are you ready? The readiness question always throws me a little. I want to be honest and say, “No, actually, I’ve got a trillion things to do and not enough hours in the day to complete them,” but instead I reply, “Mostly.” One woman at farmer’s market on Tuesday night looked at me and said, “Wow! How are you doing? You look like you’re just about ready!” I think I’m starting to notice a little bit of nervousness in people’s voices, like they might be fingering their phones just in case I decide to squat in front of them and have this baby RIGHT NOW.  Is it wrong that my first instinct when I see these people is to stop, grasp my belly, close my eyes, and breathe deeply?

~~~

Cindy asked the following of us a few days ago: What are you both 1- most excited about and 2- most worried about (in terms of actually being moms to egghead). I have been thinking about these two extremes a lot lately, perhaps because I vacillate between them so often. I think I’m most excited to get to know this little boy, to see who he brings out in us, to see what kind of family he helps us create. I’m looking forward to loving him bigger than I know, seeing the world through his eyes, and, mostly, just cuddling him and feeling him and seeing him in the flesh. In terms of worries, I’m probably most worried about the changes that J and I will go through, worried that we’ll miss our old life, worried that somehow we’ll screw him up, or that I’ll smother him and be overprotective, but those worries aren’t overwhelming.

My wife is most excited about discovering the world through our son’s eyes. She says, however, that she’s not worried, that she can’t possibly go into this feeling fear. While she says that she has the general fear of whether or not she will be good at this, she simply isn’t worried. I love this about her, and I believe her.

~~~

The doula-in-training whom we were to meet this weekend had to back out because she has to go back home to Washington sooner than she thought. We’re a little bummed, but she’s passing word along to other doulas-in-training so that we might find someone else. So far, we have heard from one who is also a massage therapist and who happens to write chants and songs for people in life-changing situations. We’ll arrange to meet her. I think it might be quite interesting indeed to have a singing doula.

~~~

My wife is about to make me an iced, decaf espresso, and I may cry from gratitude. Maybe she’ll pull out those palm fronds after all.

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Filed under Pregnancy, Ramblings

21w5d updates

9973tressduncecapI can’t seem to write full paragraphs today. I can’t even come up with an original title so bullets and a generic title it is:

  • First and foremost, two blog families have their new baby boys in their arms. Congratulations to Strawberry and Nutella and to the ladies at love+love=marriage!
  • We have baby boy clothes hanging in the closet in what will soon be our nursery/office. We catch one another sneaking in there to look at them from time to time. They are precious.
  • Egghead is constantly kicking me now. Any time our cat Cleo jumps up for her belly time (and she has to have it every day now), he seems to know she’s there. He kicks at her head as she purrs on him. I love this. What I don’t love so much is when he punches my bladder after I’ve had too much water.
  • I am learning that my more negative emotions impact the boy, so I’m trying to keep myself from getting too upset about anything. That didn’t work yesterday, and he was much less active. It scared me into behaving myself.
  • Last night, when my wife and I were trying to sleep, someone’s giant SUV’s car alarm was continuously triggered. It was the loud honking sort of alarm, and every fifteen or twenty minutes, the thing was going off again. This happened for hours. I wanted to run outside in the rain and scream, but I didn’t. No need to wake more people up, and certainly no need to create a minimally-clothed-pregnant-woman spectacle of myself.
  • I’m having strange dreams again. Last night, I dreamt that I acquired a big stack of cardboard dunce caps. I was so excited to get to wear one and delighted to have so many at my disposal. Yes, I said dunce caps. No, I’m not a schoolmarm from 1910 despite what my wife may tell you. Feel free to offer up your own interpretations.
  • I have been researching the local hospitals that will take the new insurance, and it looks like we have some decent options. I’m settling into the idea of a hospital birth with a midwife in attendance. I’m so grateful for the encouraging comments that people left on my last post. It’s going to be okay; I know this now.
  • My mom, sister, and niece are coming for a visit this weekend, and we’re going to a baby expo. Should be delightful. We’re then babysitting for another two days at the beginning of next week–more practice baby time. We hear she’s crawling now and pulling herself up. Our house is so not ready for an almost toddler.
  • This weekend marks the end of this and last month’s entrance exam scoring marathon. This has been great work for both of us; it pays quite well, and we don’t have to leave home to do it. On the other hand, we both have mush for brains at the end of each day. We often find ourselves at the end of the day staring into the ether and rocking. I swear I caught J drooling today. We’re so very ready for a break from this. In a week from today, we’ll be done for a month.
  • That said, we are so grateful for this work. It has come at the best time, and this, along with my other online work, has been such a blessing to us. I am so lucky to have my wife by my side during this pregnancy experiencing it all along with me. I’m so glad that I haven’t had to be amongst students and colleagues subjecting them to my mood swings. I do miss the classroom at times, but it’s just nice to have this freedom right now. It’s going to be equally nice when Egghead is born (although at that point, J will hopefully be teaching again). Sometimes not getting that full-time, tenure-track position has its benefits.

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Filed under Egghead, Ramblings, the P word

so. very. sleepy.

This is really about nothing. It’s not interesting. It’s my means of procrastinating because I’m tired of bad student essays.

  • My wife is away getting massaged, and I am trying to finish up my last hour of work for the day. I love working from home, but the temptation to just lie down and sleep through it all is often far too tempting. I want a nap more than anything right now.
  • I get to have a massage on Friday. When we moved here, an old internet friend of ours who lives in this town, and whom we had met once in person, found us through our wedding photo in the paper. When we reconnected, we were reminded that she is a massage therapist and energy worker, and she gave us these coupons for free massages months ago. This week, we’re finally cashing them in. I can’t wait. Granted, some things won’t be quite the same (i.e. I won’t be able to lie on my belly), but she promises we’ll work around that. I love having friends in these sorts of professions.
  • I am finally mostly over my cold. I ended up having to take a Su.dafed a couple of times to manage to breathe enough to sleep. I hated taking it, hated the feeling of it, but it was necessary. I also remembered what a great cold remedy kimchi is, so my wife found me the most delicious jar of it locally. I was in spicy fermented cabbage heaven. In fact, I was on a spicy foods rampage last week. I ate jalapenos like they were pickles, sprinkled Ta.patio sauce on nearly everything but my granola, and scarfed up as much wasabi as I could on some veggie sushi. I was determined to clear my sinuses, but it really did take the OTC pharmaceuticals to do the job. I’m still stuffy and probably will be for the next six months, but at least I can breathe.
  • Spring has truly sprung here. We went for a walk and saw so many wildflowers today. It was like chocolate for the eyes.
  • My sister and her smiley little baby are coming to visit again on Sunday. We get to babysit all day Monday. I can’t wait to have some baby time, some sister time, something besides work.
  • My wife informed me today that my hair is making me look like Brumhilda. I apparently need a haircut, but I guess I don’t see the point since I work from home. My hair is naturally way too plentiful (believe me; there is such a thing as too much hair) and grows faster than a chia pet (also not as great as it seems, especially with short hair), so pregnancy has really given me something special in the way of hairstyles. And by special, I mean I’m starting to look like an exotic sheepdog.
This is me (pre-haircut).

This is me (pre-haircut).

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spewing forth boredom and panic

It has happened. I have become one of those bloggers who cannot seem to write now that she’s somehow miraculously made it to the other side of TTC. My blogs consist of updates on pregnancy matters and little else. I’m so boring. Unfortunately, I am not just boring in blogland. My wife mentions once in awhile that she feels she has lost me to napland. At some point in the day, some days earlier than others, I collapse on the sofa or in bed, and I sleep for hours. I am utterly useless. No wonder she misses me. The cats, on the other hand, are loving this.

Now for more boring. Here are the things that are keeping me up at night:

  • Neither J nor I were ever given classes for this semester, so I’m working part-time from home right now, and in some ways it’s a good thing. I cannot imagine entertaining thirty people who hate writing while feeling so exhausted. I fear I would have been as apathetic as they are. However, this also means that my income has been cut in half, and J’s income has been cut by 100%.
  • Living in the Bay Area, this income might as well be nothing.  J is feverishly job-hunting, trying to land something that will provide us with insurance so that we aren’t without. For now, we still have health insurance through J’s last teaching gig–until the paychecks stop. That won’t be long now. While my OB appointments and labs thus far have been covered, they won’t be after this month, and this is more than a little scary. We do have backup plans: California has a great, privately-funded program for middle-income pregnant women who can’t get affordable health insurance. If J can’t find a full-time position with benefits, then we’ll have access to that, and it seems that my clinic honors this program, so that is helpful.
  • One unfortunate scenario that could occur, however, is that J could be offered a job with benefits only to find that those benefits are limited to a really fucked up HMO  (Ka.iser) to which we refuse to entrust our lives (they are solely to blame for the death of her father). In this case, I would not have access to the cool California program, nor to my clinic, nor to any kind of freedom regarding prenatal care or birth. A midwife may or may not be out of the question depending on income (we would have to pay out of pocket). The birth center we hoped to use would certainly be out of the question at $5000 out of pocket.
  • We really need to move. We just learned that one of our neighbors was evicted for complaining a few times about a noxious odor in her apartment, about which the owners refuesed to do anything (yes, she sued for wrongful eviction). The people who own this apartment complex are crooked. They have been known to deny maintenance in hopes of keeping security deposits. We have the law on our sides, but we don’t have the money to afford attorneys. It’s a great apartment, but we need to get the hell out of here. Besides, living in a house would be far preferable once we have a baby anyway. We could use the space, and we could certainly use the privacy.
  • We really need a more reliable car. The two we have are on their last legs. That simply isn’t acceptable. This all depends, of course, on gainful employment. And so the cycle continues.
  • Some seem to think that since we have master’s degrees that finding employment should be a cinch. Were I naive and much younger, I might think the same. However, those who haven’t spent their lives in academia are also unaware that few employers really give a shit about how many students we’ve taught to write if we don’t have ten years of copyediting or technical/grant/business writing experience. When it comes to being payed what we’re worth, we’re screwed.

Oh, it’s all annoying, but it’s going to be fine. It is. It really is. (Right? Right?!) If nothing else, we will piece together part-time gigs as we always have. I just can’t panic. I want to, but I can’t.

So perhaps this is why I haven’t been writing. I’m spewing–and whining–and complaining, but I’m not writing anything worth saying. See, blog silence is a good thing.

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Filed under anxiety, health care, Ramblings, the P word

end of day cranky thoughts

I’m so tired from a very long day at school, a somewhat demeaning meeting with the faculty member who observed me (she told me I could work for one of the full-timers as a grader since I don’t have classes next semester), and just utter exhaustion from the infighting and the stress associated with the Prop 8 shit. I am not feeling like my nice, polite, articulate self, so I present to you three important matters for today’s post:

Matter One: If you’d like someone toward whom you can direct your anger over those missing civil rights, take a gander at this asshat: Jim Quinn. Could this man be any more disgusting?

Matter Two: If you need a forum for your anger, a place and time to stand with others like you, Join the Impact this weekend. Find a rally in a city near you here. J and I will be rallying in our nearest city on Saturday. Where will you be? (And for fuck’s sake, don’t tell me you’ll be boycotting California wine. It’s the best this country has to offer, and we need it in times like these!)

Matter Three: J ordered our sperm today. We have a new donor (since we used the last vial of the old one). I’m so glad to be on to this cycle already.

Tomorrow, J and I are meeting up with my mom to shop for xmas gifts. It will be a nice reprieve from all of this hoopla. My greatest hope is that we find a perfect reading lamp. I can’t abide reading student papers in permanent mood lighting any longer.

I hope I’m not so grumpy tomorrow.

 

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Filed under Marriage Equality Resources, Politics, Ramblings, sperm

*cough*

Another bulleted post because I can’t think clearly enough to make any kind of coherent connection between the thoughts below:

  • This weekend I came down with the most awful cold, and it’s still going strong. I chose to sleep on the sofa last night because I kept waking up coughing, and I know it was waking J up. This was a good decision because I was up every couple of hours hacking away. The downside of sleeping on the sofa is that the cats think I’m up to feed and let them in and out at their whim. Grrr. Today I have been intolerably cranky. I don’t do sick well.
  • I had to cancel my classes today for the second time this semester due to The Cold, and because I can’t seem to open my mouth without coughing. Many of the students will be pleased with this. The older students will be annoyed. There simply isn’t anything I can do about that. Who doesn’t like a cancelled class, anyway (especially with advance warning)?
  • Last Friday, I was to go pick out the classes I wanted to teach in the spring. By the time my appointent time arrived, all of the classes were gone. It doesn’t look good for teaching next semester. In this economy, J and I are simply delighted to be looking for new careers. Thrilled, I tell you.
  • We went out of town this weekend to see my parents. We were to go golfing with them on Saturday; instead, I sent J with them, and stayed in bed.
  • I was also to see my niece, and I did, but I couldn’t get near her due to the damn super cold. She’s cute though, and she’s getting really big.
  • J is writing a number of letters to the editor regarding Proposition 8. On our trip this weekend, we saw far too many “Yes on 8” signs, and we even saw “No on 8” billboards knocked down. We’re so scared that this damn thing is going to get through. Please, if you haven’t already, make sure that your friends and relatives in California are voting no on this hateful amendment to our state’s constitution.
  • On a more positive note (because I’ve been Debbie Downer for this entire post), in one week, we will have a box on our doorstep that contains frozen biological material. Yes we will.

*cough* I’m going back to bed now. *coughsnifflecough*

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Filed under Ramblings, sick

Two Peas in a Pod

Hi All, J here with a few thoughts. Most of you know that I don’t post much on this blog, though I do read it frequently. This is, afterall, T’s place to come and share her feelings with you wonderful women, and I don’t want to interfere with that. However, from time to time, I get a thought in my head that I want to share, and such is the case today.

We are just a few weeks away from phase II of our journey to have a baby. One could argue that this is really phase III, since our first attempt at finding a donor was to make an arrangement with a college friend of ours, which didn’t work out. Then there was Mr. G and the year-long trial of mailed sperm, which again, did not produce the results we were so hoping for. Now, on to what I hope will be a more precise method: IUI’s with spermcicles and a very cool midwife-crone’s assistance.

But our journey began long before any serious baby-making plans; it began very early in our relationship when we were still in college. Both of us knew we wanted children, but I have an admission. I never wanted to get pregnant myself. I was told long ago that due to some physical limitations, I would have a very hard time carrying a baby to term–it wasn’t impossible, mind you, but it would be dangerous–so I got it in my head that I would adopt someday. Well, T told me she wanted to have a baby of her own, and I thought how lucky am I? I mean, think about that. I had a girlfriend who wanted the same thing as me, to have a baby, and was willing to lend her body to the effort. Funny, but back then, it didn’t occur to us how difficult it would be to find sperm. Nevertheless, we had an agreement very early on in our relationship that someday we would conceive a child together, and T would be the birth mom. There was just no disagreement about that.

We did have some discussion of the timeline. I wanted a three-year goal, and this was back in 1999. She agreed to it, but the closer we got to the three years, she kept saying “okay, in three years.” This was in 2001,2002, etc. So, the three years got stretched out to 5, then 6, then 7 before we ever got serious. I was starting to get a bit frantic about it as I am older than T and didn’t want to be too old when we had a baby. She’s younger, so she had more time, which is totally understandable. Also, we were finishing our graduate degrees and still had this idealistic notion that we would get fabulous jobs and a home, etc., not realizing that the American Dream wasn’t going to go our way. We kept waiting for that perfect set of circumstances that would lead to our perfect little family life.

I actually had a bout of pretyy bad depression for a few years because absolutely nothing was turning out the way it should, and I was getting older and more frustrated about, well, everything. Poor T. She put up with a lot of shit in those days, but she never gave up on me or on our future. I may have even secretly thought none of our plans would materialize, even having a baby. Early in 2007, though, T took matters into her own hands. This was my bottom with depression, and I was not in any place to plan for the future. I was drinking too much, started gambling, and generally giving up. But she moved forward. She quit smoking, began losing weight, and found Mr. G, our former sperm donor. She inspired me, and showed me that we couldn’t wait for the perfect job opportunity or for one of our guy friends to come through for us. She knew what she wanted, and she showed me how we were going to make it happen. It was her determination that ultimately pulled me through those tough times and made me believe again.

I admit that I thought we would get pregnant right away. That’s me though, swinging that mood pendulum from utter desperation to gleeful optimism. We’ve been through a lot as a couple, and this process hasn’t been kind to us. We’re still trying, though, and more determined than ever to create our own family. At the end of the day, we’re two peas in a pod. We want the same things, and we’re willing to fight through the bullshit, the disappointments, the failures, and even willing to fight our own demons to make those humble dreams come true.

It’s not about the appearance of success: the house, the car, the full-time teaching job. We just want our family, and are willing to scratch out our existence and fight for it. That’s us, and that’s why I know that we’re going to have a baby. It’s not how much we want it, but what we’re willing to do to get it.  In just a few weeks, we get to start again, and I can’t wait.

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de-funked

I think I’m beginning to emerge from the funk I’ve been in for the past few days. I was really down most of the day yesterday–just feeling miserable and empty and sad and quiet. Once J came home from teaching, I felt so much better knowing that we would have a few days to spend together before the routine of the school week begins again on Monday. I don’t think it helps that I’ve been on the verge of a sinus infection and suffering the retched headaches that accompany such things.  

We have an official appointment with our midwife on October 1st. I like that. It’s the first day of the month when we get to start trying again. We can’t wait to meet this woman.

I can’t say that the “h” word is back in my vocabulary necessarily, but J’s enthusiasm is contagious. I should mention that she is the cynical one in our relationship, not that I am a fountain of optimism, but J is typically the one to think things will go wrong, and I’m usually the one reassuring her that things will improve. I’m not used to this new J, this person who has hope and who is trying like mad to get me to feel it too. I rather like her.

We have a full weekend ahead of us. We’re going to meet up with my parents tonight to see Lewis Black. Then tomorrow we have a literary festival to attend. Mostly, though, we get to spend time together, which is such a precious thing these days.

Thank you all for letting me stand on your shoulders, for having hope for me when it’s such a foreign feeling to me. You’re a beautiful bunch of souls, ladies.

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Filed under dear readers, depression, J, Ramblings

fragmented baby thoughts

There was a baby in our house last night. In fact, I was here with a baby by myself for a few hours. I watched my neighbor’s five-month-old. This baby likes me a lot; she loves to stare at me, smile at me, and chew on my hands, so we enjoyed having a few hours to stare and smile and make funny faces at each other, and she enjoyed chewing on my hands. J and I like having a baby in our house. It seems right to have a child here and oddly empty when they leave.

We have started the donor selection process at the cryobank we’ve chosen. J spent an hour or so this morning making a ranked list of donors she likes, which made me happy. I love it when she gets to play an active role in all of this. Now we just have to send in the paperwork and hope we get everything right.

I’m waiting to hear back from our midwife on cost for IUI. I’m still hoping she’ll be reasonable.

It seems like everyone in TTC/lesbian mom blogland (with the exception of a few of us stragglers) is pregnant or has a child now. I have no ill feelings toward all of you who are growing your babies and/or watching them grow now on the outside–believe me, I’m thrilled for every last one of you; it’s just feeling lonely here in the land of the childless.

I cried once when the baby was over last night. I stared at her wishing I knew what it was like to have a baby of my own. I quickly made myself stop crying because I didn’t want to upset her, but her presence made that feeling of absence, that baby ache, all the more poignant. It used to be that I could get a baby fix from other people’s babies. Now holding other people’s babies just makes me feel a little more sad about our own situation.

I am finishing up my second to last period before this break is over. One more visit from the crimson tide, and then we’re on to OPKs and EWCM and, for the first time ever, IUI. I’m being a good girl and taking my vitamins and my fish oil. I’m doing pilates to strengthen my core, losing weight, drinking water, and even limiting my wine consumption (that’s a tough one when it’s harvest time in wine country). I hope all of this means I’ll be rewarded for my good behavior.

J and I are taking a trip to Tahoe at the beginning of my next cycle. She’s optimistic that this will be our last hurrah before I’m pregnant. I don’t know what to think, but I’m excited to go to Tahoe with my lovely wife.

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Filed under babies, Ramblings, ttc