Coughing Update: I think I strained my frenulum. My abs hurt. If I cough one more time, I’m going to cry. Last night I coughed myself out of bed and slept on the sofa (where, oddly enough, I didn’t cough again until 7am). The only things that seem to keep this beastly coughing away are brandy and Ty.lenol PM. I imagine horse tranquilizers would work too, but I don’t have those handy. I’m so tired of hearing myself complain about this, and I’m sorry to subject all of you to it again.
Fertility Update: I’m getting closer to a positive OPK. We’re still a day away I think, but my EWCM has never been so beautiful (and by beautiful, I mean plentiful and, well, shiny). My best guess is that we’ll inseminate Thursday, maybe Friday.
Activism Update: In other exciting news, I think J and I are headed to a giant rally on Saturday in Saramento. There will be speakers (including Gavin Newsom!), thousands of people, and, rumor has it, even post-rally parties! Some sites are estimating we’ll get something like 30-40 thousand people. Part of me doubts this, and part of me thinks we may very well pull it off. If you can make it to Sacramento Saturday, come join us! (Seriously, if you think you might go, shoot me an email. It would be fun to meet up!) If you can’t go, tell people who live in or near California to go if they can. It will be well worth it to stand together for equality. I think a lot of us are seeing this as a warm-up to a million gay march that has yet to be scheduled but is certainly in the works.
You know that cold I thought I would beat? It won. It moved into my chest early yesterday morning and has now turned into the most horrid cough I have had in years. I went to school this morning thinking I could teach only to cough myself out of the classroom. I had to let them go halfway through because not only could I not talk; I couldn’t stop coughing to let them work quietly. I coughed the whole thirty minute drive there and the whole drive home. I have pulled muscles in my back, and I am fairly certain I threw a rib out. The bonus? I can’t get into a doctor because no nearby is taking new patients for at least two weeks. So it’s the emergency room, driving thirty minutes to another doctor, or T and J’s home remedies. I’ve chosen the last option which consists of copious tea, sufficient doses of cough syrup, and a snifter of brandy every two hours. This seems to be reducing the frequency, and I do think I may sleep well tonight.
When this thing started to move into my chest, I actually started looking on the bright side. I thought, Okay, this works out–I can take Robi.tussin and get the bonus of extra EWCM. I forgot, however, that this only makes one cough more when needs it. And while my EWCM is copious, I’m now laying off the expectorant. The last thing I need is something encouraging me to cough.
The problem with being sick around insemination time is that I’m trying to drink as many fluids as I can, but for OPKs, I need to hold that precious pee. Imagine trying to hold 48 ounces of fluid for four hours while coughing uncontrollably. Let me just say my drive home today was precarious.
So far, we don’t have anything resembling a positive on the OPKs, and I’m honestly a little worried I’ll somehow miss my surge. I am very hydrated, overly so, as a result of the circumstances mentioned above. I’m trying to relax about it, but we have this very nice box holding the new and improved sperm, and I would be so, so, so, so sad if we had to miss this.
Okay, I’m off to cough some more, drink some brandy, and avoid expelling a major organ.
I’ve been taking ovulation tests this week. Nothing yet, but I think I’ll get my surge tomorrow, and I think our IUI will be on Thursday. This is my prediction thus far based on the beginnings of EWCM.
J and I are having trouble focusing on much of anything but the insemination and the upcoming election. We have stacks of essays to grade that we don’t want to look at, class observations to prepare for that we don’t want to think about. We’re not bad teachers, just a tad unmotivated for the moment. Now is the time when a secret twin would be very useful.
I have to say, I’m surprised at the amount of hope I have about this cycle. I’m obviously excited to be ending this break, but I do have a little nervousness about what is to come. I’m trying not to entertain too many of those thoughts that take me months into the future without a pregnancy. I’ve been mostly successful, but it’s tough to break old thought patterns. It’s tough not to think about having our hopes dashed. Still, I’m pushing those thoughts to the side as much as I can because for now, they aren’t useful.
J is helping to combat any of those thought directions. I catch her looking wistfully at me, and I’ll ask her what she’s thinking. She’ll say, “How great it’s going to be to cook for you and walk with you when you’re pregnant,” or “How beautiful you’re going to be with our baby.” I can’t help but feel hopeful when she’s thinking these things.
Last night as we were getting ready for bed, she asked if we could look at our baby box. It’s a box of baby items we have been collecting since we started all of this over a year ago. Some of the items we have purchased; others friends have bought for us as good luck charms. Looking at these items and holding them help us feel closer to our future baby and keep us thinking forward toward what will be.
There is that part of me that thinks I’m heading into dangerous territory, and then I remember that it’s all dangerous territory, but I would gladly walk through it time and again to get to our baby.
Well, we finally heard from Mr. G–this morning. He’s out of town, was out of town yesterday, and so he would not have been able to send anything even if he had checked his email. In short, no sperm today. But that’s okay. My OPK this morning was light, so I haven’t yet hit my surge. It seems my ovaries may be obeying me for the time being.
If for some reason the tests stay light, and I don’t have a surge until Monday, we’ll ask him to send a shipment then. He’s prepared to do that already. I hope we have reason for him to send it.
All I can do now is wait, take my Vitex, wait, pee on an OPK, wait, and hope beyond all hope that this works out.
I have decided to stop taking my temperature. It has been causing me too much stress in the morning, and I just don’t want that much data. I want to go into this a little more oblivious than usual. I’ll try anything to save myself a little anxiety right now.
Filed under OPK, sperm, ttc
Crap. I just took an OPK, and it’s getting darker. I know I’m going to ovulate before Tuesday, and now I have to hope that Mr. G checks his email and can get something out to me for tomorrow. So I’m putting in a request to all my readers to focus their super powers on getting Mr. G to check his messages so that he can get this out today.
Focus super powers…NOW!
This wasn’t something I really wanted to deal with today. I’m a little hung over after J and I had an evening of drinking wine, watching So You Think You Can Dance, and listening to music that reminded us of our old hometown. We had fun, but damn, my head hurts.
But back to that focusing. Come on Mr. G. Go to your computer. Check your email. Send us some sperm!
Our very important shipment arrived today, but I still don’t have a postive OPK. What’s the deal? Fortunately, with BioTranz, the sample is expanded by about four times its usual quantity, so we’re able to split it up, but I’m so concerned that we’re way too early this time around. What is confusing me is that my other fertility signs are lining up, so it seems to me that I should be at least somewhere near ovulation.
All uncertainty aside, we went ahead with an insemination this morning. We are out of PreSeed, out of Insteads; in fact, we were altogether unprepared in so many ways. But with another tonight, and maybe even another in the morning, we’re hoping for the best.
All day, I’ve been convinced that today was Friday. I’ve had to remind myself no less than ten times that tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow is the day we start reaching for that dream of all dreams again.
I’m still waiting to get that positive OPK I thought I would have by now. Crap. Our sperm is in the mail, though (more like on a FedEx truck), so we’re going to go ahead with this. As I mentioned yesterday, the other signs are here, so maybe I’ll blame the new brand of OPKs we got, or maybe I’m just not going to O until Saturday. That would be pretty good, actually. Far better than ovulating the day after we inseminate as has been the case on more than one occasion.
Either way, we get the goods tomorrow morning, and we’ll inseminate by noon. We should have enough to split it into two samples, so we’ll do another tomorrow night just for good measure. It feels like an eternity since I’ve climbed to the summit of Mt. Pillowtop, and I’m looking forward to it.
First of all, a big, hearty congratulations to the girls over at Chronicles of Conception for their news! I think it’s time we had a whole gaggle of positives.
I haven’t gotten a positive ovulation test yet, but I have been thinking for about a month now that Friday or Saturday would be the potential eggdrop days for me this month. A message has been sent, and I assume our sperm will be on our doorstep Friday morning. I’m hinging a lot on this month–and the next one and the next one. After that, there’s no more Mr. G sperm for us, and we’ll be forced into either an extended break until we find a new known donor, or we’ll have to start buying the goods, and I am so utterly opposed to spending money on sperm when there’s so much of it out there for free.
This couple of days of waiting is killing me though. I’m ready to get the show on the road.
To pass the time, I’ve been engaging in hair removal today. I never thought I’d be one of those women who had to wax any part of her face other than eyebrows, but it seems that my thirties have brought with them fuzz and unwanted random dark hairs. I cannot handle this. I do not want to be a bearded woman, but I absolutely dread the pain of the hair removal. Alas, now I have an angry upper lip–but at least it’s a hair-free, feminine upper lip, right?
Filed under Hair, OPK, ttc
I can’t believe it, considering just two posts ago, I was confirming that I was not pregnant, but it’s O time for me again. I forgot how quickly all of this happens when we’re doing this regularly. I’ve been taking OPKs for a few days now, and late this morning had a strong positive. Our swimmers should get here tomorrow, but I’m so scared that this egg is going to pop out before then making it all pointless. I believe I have mentioned before how much I hate this timing part, so I won’t go there again. For now, I’m comforted knowing our sperm will be on their way up the California coast in just a couple of hours.
This will be my first time going through a home insemination without my sweetheart here. She’s got to work all day, and we agreed that I should move things along as soon as our swimmers arive. I will also be working from home, which should be interesting! Again, I just hope my egg doesn’t pop out too soon. Any “hold it in” vibes you want to send my way would be much appreciated!
Aside from all of the exciting TTC stuff, we’re really settling in here. We love our home and are about 65% moved in. We even have art on the walls! This weekend we did too much shopping, finding some great new bookcases (which we sorely needed for our twelve boxes of books), a potential new sofa suitable for snuggling, and some contenders for a new dining table. We also had the pleasure of a visit from my brother and his girlfriend. We got to take them wine tasting, which was a blast. Below is a photo from our excursion with them on Saturday. It’s taken just a few minutes from our house. This place is so breathtaking. I love it.
This week has been insane. I can’t go to sleep at night unless I’m ready to pass out. Last night I broke down and took some over-the-counter sleep aids, and I did much better. I only had fifteen minutes or so of crazy thoughts of J and I being homeless swirling through my head. I call these crazy thoughts “the worries.” The worries mess with my stomach and jump around inside it. They create this tornado of confusion and panic and overthinking in my head that leads to sleeplessness. I hate the worries. I don’t know how to combat them right now. Even drinking doesn’t help because then I worry that I’m ruining my eggs. Oh how I wish I could banish the worries.
We’re still trying to find a place to live, and it’s a nightmare. We thought that once J had work we would be fine, but it turns out that just isn’t so for these two Pollyannas. We have had some pretty major financial difficulties over the years, and as a result, our credit took a downturn. We’ve been working on it over the past six months or so, but a lot of property owners only care about the overall score, and our scores still suck. We’re actively talking with folks who are renting properties on their own, telling them our story, and generally trying to show them that we are, in fact, responsible people who simply hit some hard times. The worries are creeping in even as I write this. We do have some potential leads, but the main concern now is that J is expected to start work in a week and a half, and we don’t want her to end up sleeping in the back of the truck. Who knew that this great decision for us to move would end up with fears of us being homeless?
In much better news–and something I’m oddly not worried about–we are inseminating this week. In fact, probably tomorrow. My stress seems to have brought on an early ovulation because my OPKs are almost positive today, which is CD12. We have a message in to Mr. G to send us the goods, and tomorrow if all goes well we’ll be sperming up!
Then things will get really interesting. Not only will I have a TWW to obsess about but a house to find, the rest of a house to pack, movers to call, papers to sign. Oh here we go again…Yes, this is what is happening in my head almost all the time right now. Have I mentioned I’m typically a calm, grounded person? That people say my presence is soothing? Ha!
So, does anyone know how safe Ty.lenolPMs are for TTC?