Category Archives: new home


J and I have found ourselves in a bit of a quandry this week. We both admitted to each other this week that we’re not happy here. We don’t like this town.

Living in wine country is a bit like being on vacation all the time. We love that feeling, but eventually, the vacation has to end. We still love going wine tasting; we still find our surroundings beautiful; we still love so many things about this place. But the town feels somehow soulless. Every weekend, and now throughout the weekdays, our little main streets are inundated with tourists. There is no parking should one need to visit a business downtown. Giant tour busses line our streets. It’s a circus.

The other issue is the median age of the people who live here. I would say that we’re some of the youngest people here at 32 and 35. The majority of the people who live here are retired–or nearly retired–and very, very wealthy. I know I’ve mentioned this before in the context of making friends, but this also lends a very stuffy sort of air to the town itself. It doesn’t feel family friendly, and while people are fine about us as a couple, the only other queer folk in our town seem to be retired gay men.

This is not the place for a couple of lesbians trying to start a family. It’s a great place to visit, but we’ve got to start looking for a new location to move to once our lease is up next April. Luckily, the surrounding thirty-mile radius has a lot of towns to offer. We admittedly didn’t do a lot of research before moving here because we thought we sort of knew the area–and we thought most of it was the same–but now that we’re here, we’re realizing that each community here is fairly distinct. We’re discovering some cool bohemian communities, areas that are filled with families, areas where we would probably feel a little more at home and a little less like tourist attractions. The good news is, each of these areas is just as beautiful as this one (some even more so), so we won’t have to sacrifice beauty for comfort. For that I am happy.  We’re going to keep studying our possibilities, but this has been a pretty significant realization this week. It’s not necessarily one we’re happy about, but it was important nonetheless.

So now we have a year to spend trying to soak up what this little town has to offer whilst not going absolutely crazy with tourist hatred. It’s going to be interesting. I think we will make games of it. We also have a year, though, to figure out precisely where we want to live, and that is a nice feeling. I like time.


Filed under moving, new home

Existential Bumps

We’ve been having a rough week here in our new home. Since J lost her job, we’re both a little aimless. Hell, since we’ve moved here we’ve been aimless.

For the first month of living here, we’ve been tourists in our own town. So many evenings, we would go out and find a new restaurant, a new shop, a new bar, and we had a great deal of fun doing it. I suppose to some extent this is what one does when one moves to a new place, but here, it’s easy to feel like a tourist because it’s constantly tourist season in wine country. Last week, when both my sister and my mom visited, we found that we had visited the same fabulous culinary shop three times in a week, the same cheese shop for the eighth or ninth time in a month, all the while elbowing past throngs of tourists. When my family left, we both confirmed that we’re tired of being tourists here.

This week we’ve been struggling with what it means to really live here though, and oddly enough, it has me longing for the old  place. I want to pass this phase where I feel like a tourist and be in a place of comfort. When I leave here, I want to long to come home. I don’t know if I feel that about this place yet. Instead, I keep reading about redwoods and dreaming about fog and imagining walking along the rugged coastline of our hold hometown. I guess I’m homesick.

Perhaps some of this comes with taking a break from the conception process, but I think even more of it is related to me and J feeling disconnected and out of sorts since we moved. So much of my feeling of home rests in my relationship with her. We’ve both decided that we need to be having more authentic and simple experiences here. Experiences at home, experiences that remind us who we are as a couple, experiences that encourage us to grow together as a couple.

So this weekend is about shifting gears and finding ourselves in our new home. We’ve got a month before our last few inseminations with Mr. G, so we’re taking this month to get both of us reinvested in the process and refocused on the family we want to build. I’ve spent so much time blogging about that focus that it’s almost become my holy grail. For so many months, I’ve felt like it’s just out of reach. This week, it’s starting to feel more within reach, more approachable. Perhaps that is a sign that we’re building our nest after all. Maybe it’s just what we need to feel home.

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Filed under new home, us

Four Things

I’ve got a lot of bloggy business to attend to today, so here goes!

First, I have a couple of Photo Friday shots to share. This week, the theme was Four. First, I present to you four cat toes:


The other contribution showcases some apples that I got at our little farmer’s market this morning. I was frankly quite surprised to find apples so late in the season, but they are local and fresh and juicy and tasty. And there are four of them here:

Apple Shadows

Second, for those of you who either did or didn’t obsess for me the other day, I had another high temp, and today a lower one. I’m a bit crampy with sore boobs–quit typical of the week leading up to the blood. I did have a dream about taking a series of pregnancy tests that were all positive, but the test results would fade after about three seconds, so I couldn’t prove that I was truly pregnant. I woke up annoyed. Honestly, I don’t think I could be any less pregnant, but I’ll keep you updated.

Third, I’ve been tagged by j. k-c. for a fun little meme involving books, which I find utterly appropriate considering my intimate involvement with the things this week. The rules are as follows:

1. Grab the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Find the first 5 sentences and write them down.
4. Then invite 5 friends to do the same.

At my desk, I have primarily reference books related to writing. I avoided The Dictionary of Modern American Usage as well as the Thesaurus. Ugh. So, I turned around to find a copy of Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss sitting on a shelf directly to my right. It looks like my readers are going to get a little punctuation lesson because here are the first five sentences of page 123:

So it is true that we must keep an eye on the dash–and also the ellipsis (…), which is turning up increasingly in emails as shorthand for “more to come, actually . . . it might be related to what I’ve just written . . . but the main thing is I haven’t finished . . . let’s just wait and see . . . I could go on like this for hours . . . ” However, so long as there remain sentences on this earth that begin with capital letters and end with full stops, there will be a place for the semicolon. True, its use is never obligatory, because a full top ought always to be an alternative. But that only makes it the more wonderful.

Popotakis had tried a cinema, a dance hall, bacarat, and miniature golf; now he had four ping-pong tables.

Don’t you feel more informed? I tag Chronicles of Conception, Baby Steps, Notes from Two Moms, Milk in the Batter, and OhChicken. You’re all it!

And finally, for those who have been interested in seeing the bookshelves that T built (err, assembled–and sorry about referring to myself in the third person), here they are in all their glory with a bonus shot of our little cat, Zoe. For some reason they don’t look nearly as massive in this photo, and I can’t, for the life of me figure out how these books filled a whole ten boxes. There seem to be so few once they’re on the shelves! I will admit that we still have another large bookcase in the office as well as small bookshelves built into the desk and another small bookcase to the right of the desk, but those books filled another four or five boxes. We are a slave to our books. One day I dream of a full room with walls lined with floor to ceiling built-in bookcases and two very comfy reading chairs. Ahhh…that would be lovely.



Have a good weekend everyone! And if you made it this far, you get a gold star!


Filed under BBT, home, moving, new home, Photo Friday

Unobsessing and Other Topics

Is it weird that I am not at all obsessed about the outcome of this cycle? Perhaps not, considering my utter lack of hope that it was successful, but it’s pretty weird just how much I’m not noticing any pseudo-symptoms. It’s kind of a relief, but at the same time, I wonder if all the thrill is gone from the TWW. I know, I know. Talk to me in a few days when I’m not just 7 DPO, and it will likely be a different story. I hope not, though. I can’t stand to get my hopes up.

In other exciting news–at least for us bibliophiles–we got bookcases today. Multiple big bookcases to house what has become quite a library (all in piles on the floor and in storage bins, mind you)! I will be sure to post photos later once everything is assembled (yes, I have to assemble them), and all the books are sorted. I spent most of yesterday organizing our books into categories, rooms, authors’ last names, level of potential guest enjoyment, etc. We’re admittedly very odd about our books. We love them. At a few points, I was actually overcome with the need to read and read and read until I got through them all. (I’m picturing that tragic Twilight Zone, “Time Enough at Last” as I write this.) It’s a sickness, I know. I plan to get some help one of these days.

On an entirely different note, I’ve made a new friend! Weirdly enough, I responded to an ad a woman placed wanting someone to walk with, and we’ve hit it off. She’s also a newcomer to my little town, although she’s been here for three months. She’s been showing me around, and we took an amazing walk yesterday that led us through vineyards. It was stunning, and today I am sore from our three-mile jaunt. We go again tomorrow, and I’m thrilled. This is a pretty big step for me, the introvert in the relationship. J is usually the one to charm others and make them our friends, so I feel proud of myself in this big-girl, I-just-tied-my-own-shoes sort of way.

And for the final compelling subject of the day: our cats. They won’t go outside. They’re driving me nuts. The two older cats (whom we call the big cats) will sometimes venture onto the front porch at night, but if we close the door, they cry this terrible cry that always makes me give in because I feel that somehow I must be traumatizing them. But they need to go outside and explore. This place is incredibly cat-friendly and cat-safe, but they won’t go out. Our youngest cat (whom we call the little one) won’t even set foot outside because she is terrified (due to the turkey incident, I’m sure). I’m at a loss. It has been over three weeks now, and I never expected that my adventurous indoor/outdoor cats would suddenly become housecats. This is not okay in a two-bedroom apartment where I am constantly tripping over them and where the litterbox must now be changed twice a day! Any suggestions any of you lovely readers may have would be greatly appreciated.

And that, my friends, is the end of my rambling word-spew for today.


Filed under cats, new home, Ramblings, turkeys, TWW

swimming up the coast

I can’t believe it, considering just two posts ago, I was confirming that I was not pregnant, but it’s O time for me again. I forgot how quickly all of this happens when we’re doing this regularly. I’ve been taking OPKs for a few days now, and late this morning had a strong positive. Our swimmers should get here tomorrow, but I’m so scared that this egg is going to pop out before then making it all pointless. I believe I have mentioned before how much I hate this timing part, so I won’t go there again. For now, I’m comforted knowing our sperm will be on their way up the California coast in just a couple of hours.

This will be my first time going through a home insemination without my sweetheart here. She’s got to work all day, and we agreed that I should move things along as soon as our swimmers arive. I will also be working from home, which should be interesting!  Again, I just hope my egg doesn’t pop out too soon. Any “hold it in” vibes you want to send my way would be much appreciated!

Aside from all of the exciting TTC stuff, we’re really settling in here. We love our home and are about 65% moved in. We even have art on the walls! This weekend we did too much shopping, finding some great new bookcases (which we sorely needed for our twelve boxes of books), a potential new sofa suitable for snuggling, and some contenders for a new dining table.  We also had the pleasure of a visit from my brother and his girlfriend. We got to take them wine tasting, which was a blast. Below is a photo from our excursion with them on Saturday. It’s taken just a few minutes from our house. This place is so breathtaking. I love it.





Filed under insemination, new home, OPK, ovulation, sperm, surge, ttc