Category Archives: life

vignettes from a hot november day

It is crazy hot here. We’re not talking hot for November. The little weather report on my homepage says it’s 86, but I’m guessing it’s more like 90. Baby Genius is in a shorts romper–the only one we left out when we gave away the rest of his nearly outgrown summer clothes. We are running the air conditioner. This is what we in Northern California call earthquake weather.  Much of the day has been still, but occasionally these hot gusts of wind tear more leaves from the vineyards and maples and liquid ambers, creating these fiery whirlwinds of leaves. 

The girl at the bakery gave me a cold. It caught me yesterday, and I counted back four days to the day we took a family walk and wound up at the bakery where I ordered chai and J had coffee. It was a cooler day, and we stood outside drinking our warm beverages as the sun sank lower in the trees. BG signed that he was hungry, so I went back inside and bought a mini sourdough round. The bakery girl sniffled as she threw the bread in the slicer, and I remember hoping she had recently washed her hands. Now I think she probably hadn’t.

My boy just awakened early from his nap asking to nurse. He is lying across me, nursing and dozing as I type. His hair is long enough on top and in back that it curls a bit when he sweats. He still looks like a baby when he sleeps like this, and I soak every ounce of him up knowing that soon I will catch fewer and fewer glimpses of my baby as he throws himself full force into boyhood.

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it’s a small world

Thank you for all the reassurance and the really great questions. I’ll be getting to those gradually over the next couple of weeks. I’m so excited to have some writing inspiration!

I know it’s perfectly normal to blog much less once the baby comes; I think I just miss it, and yet I also miss having much to write about. Honestly, I’m just experiencing a bit of a creative block overall. Our lives have gotten so tiny these days. For instance, today consisted of feeding the baby, trying to get him to nap (unsuccessfully), feeding him again, watching him smile, feeding him, watching him fight sleep, trying to fit in some work, feeding him, and watching an episode of Pro.ject R.unway that we missed last week. There are so many days when I come to the end of the day and wonder where it went and what I did. It’s such a strange feeling.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t mind at all that my world is suddenly so small. In fact, it’s really rather beautiful. There is nothing so precious as taking a midday nap snuggled up with my son while my wife reads, nothing quite so fulfilling as watching our boy get so excited over something as small as the shadows from the light fixture in his room or the elephants hanging above his changing table. I find myself at the end of the day reflecting on the smiles I’ve seen and replaying the songs we have made up to make him smile or sleep or stop crying. I can’t believe we get to have this life. Neither J nor I can believe that they let us bring this baby home and that we get to keep him forever. And sometimes I just need to remember all of this.

J and I are accustomed to being really busy. Normally during the fall, we’re teaching multiple classes, spending whole days grading papers, commuting, attending meetings, and generally feeling stressed out. We rarely see one another, and we rarely have time to stop and breathe. And during the last two autumns, we were going through the rigors of TTC to boot. So it’s not just having a baby that makes everything feel so different right now; it’s nearly everything. And I think that I may be having trouble writing about it all because it’s unfamiliar, as great as so much of it is, and it surprises me.

Anyway, I’m so grateful for all of your comments, for your perspectives on writing about life with a new baby, and I’m looking forward to sharing more of that with you and finding my voice as a blogger who happens to be a mom. I’m also really looking forward to jumping into these questions (although I think I’ve started to answer oneofhismoms’ question), so look for the first of those in the next couple of days (and if you have others, feel free to leave them).

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my fibroid friends strike again

Earlier today, we packed up the boy and headed out for my ultrasound to check on my ovary. As we waited, we ran into the last u/s tech we saw who measured then-Eggghead at 34 weeks. She called him a moose. Today, she remembered us, and when she asked how much he weighed at birth and we told her, she said, “So you had a c-section then.” I was proud to reply that I hadn’t, and she walked away feigning sympathy pain.

Today was so different from my other trips to this place. We had a baby in tow, and my wife wouldn’t be joining me in the room. I also wasn’t filled with nervous excitement–just nervousness. Fortunately, the tech got down to business quickly, first with the external and then the internal (so very unpleasant just six weeks after pushing out our baby), and I saw her measuring various dark spots. Eventually, I saw her type the word “fibroid” on the screen, and I said something about wondering about how they were doing. Finally, she broke her silence and told me, “I’m not supposed to say anything, but your ovaries look completely normal. I think your midwife felt this fibroid. And sure enough, the fibroid was in the vicinity of the ovary and was very much the “golf ball size” the midwife had described. Both of my ovaries were free of any masses and were merely bespeckled with a few normal follicles. In other words, my fibroids have caused needless fear once again, and all is well. Sigh.

Afterward, we decided to fit in a trip to TraderJ0e’s–a big mistake. It started pouring on our way there. The baby was decidedly displeased with something, and he started crying like we’ve never heard him cry. Once J got him settled, and he went to sleep, we thought we were in the clear, but then we got into the store, soaking wet and started to rush around only for him to awaken in the same bad mood. Because this was our first trip to a store with him in the carseat and not a wrap, we were already nervous, but at soon as he started crying, I was ready to take him back to the car. But that was not to be so easy. In our rush to get out of the car and out of the rain, we had left both of our sets of keys in the car. We had left our cell phones. We had left the diaper bags. And we had locked it all up safely out of our reach. Half an hour later, J had gotten help and was back in the car with the baby. I had finished up the shopping, and we were ready to go home. Now we’re all safe and sound and dry, ready to stick around the house for a few days without going anywhere.

Long gone are the days when shopping was fun, when a trip out of the house was easy. There are days like today when I miss that, but I still wouldn’t trade it. I’d just rather stay in.

Finally, because no post these days is complete without a photo, I present to you our impressive six-week-old:

wideeyes

ToughGuy

exhausted

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