Category Archives: ladies’ poker


Thank you all. Your outpouring of support has really helped me today. Why can’t you all move into my neighborhood? I would make delicious coffee and tea every morning, and we could sit out in one of our gardens and talk, and it would be lovely.

I spoke with my sister just a few moments ago. She’s exhausted and scared and emotional, and she needed me. I’m sort of known as the Vice Mom in our family as the oldest child/daughter, and so I’ve often filled this role for my siblings. When I called, my sister needed that, and she needed her older sister. I told her I was proud of her, that I loved her, that we would all be there for her. It felt good to be in that role and not in the childless mother, cry my heart out, jealous bitch role. That’s my ugly side, and it’s a side I’d rather not bring out into the light of day again. The sister is a better side. I’m generally a good sister, a good daughter, a good friend, even a good partner, but I have my ugly side. She can stay away for awhile.

One of the many things that made yesterday so difficult was that J brought up adoption before we even got out of bed. She suggested that we start trying to adopt while still trying to get pregnant. My warped little ears heard, “Let’s give up on getting you pregnant–since you’ve clearly failed–and try this other thing.” Of course, this is far from what she said, but it’s what I heard. This (rather, I ) started an argument and a very bad day. Ultimately, she’s just feeling the urgency of needing a child. The pain of not being pregnant and having this break and the birth of the niece overcame her. In case you were wondering, my reaction and warping of her words didn’t help matters. Ugh.

So it only made sense that my niece would be born yesterday because I was already a wreck, J and I weren’t getting along, and there was no way I could have handled it gracefully. Stillness was our solution for all of it, and it worked. We each had a beer, watched So You Think You Can Dance, and ate spring rolls and rice for dinner. Then we snuggled on the couch with cats draped over us. Good medicine.

Today I am better. We both are. Today, J and I are close and understanding each other. We’re preparing for our ladies’ poker group to come visit (and play cards!) for the weekend and getting excited. Today we are continuing to figure out our next steps toward getting me pregnant. But more importantly, today I am looking forward to meeting this (apparently) gorgeous, big, long baby (8 lb 4 oz, 21 inches long) with the beautiful head of dark brown hair whom I get to call my niece. I won’t get to do that until next week, but it’s going to be good.

See? I’m better.


Filed under coping, crappy days, family, ladies' poker, niece

I hate my aunt.

Cramps suck. And when they cause nausea, and they make me groan like someone’s punching me in the abdomen, they really suck. I hate cramps, and today is an awful crampy day. Ugh.

 We’re recovering from a weekend of guests today. Saturday was our final  ladies’ poker night, and it was fabulous. One frined brought supplies for us to make t-shirts with our poker nicknames on them, another brought gifts for a gift exchange game, another made a chocolate mousse-filled chocolate cake. It was fabulous. One of our very best friends gave us a baby t-shirt from our university, and this made us both cry. In fact, we found ourselves just standing back watching everyone and listening to the music of our friends’ voices and laughter, just feeling how great our group is and how much we’ll miss them. It was a stellar night–one that I won’t soon forget.

We are moving forward just a tad with our move and putting in an application for a condo today. I’m also working on some potential self-employment prospects. It’s exciting stuff.

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Filed under ladies' poker, moving, Period

Out of Town Visitors

I have been decidedly neglectful of the blog lately, mostly because we’ve been incredibly busy. Our dear friend M. was here for the weekend so that she could play in our ladies’ poker group.

Ladies’ Poker was the highlight of the month, I have to say. Our group is great. We have nine of us altogether, although usually only six of us show at any one event. This time, all nine ladies showed! This is a monthly event where we gather at one of the ladies’ houses. We have a food theme (this last one was sandwich bar, but we’ve had everything from a “stuffed” theme to Caribbean food), and we all bring our contributions. After eating what is usually amazing food and having a few drinks, we the spread the felt over the table, throw our money in the pot, divvy up the chips and play some Hold ‘Em.

This is a group that J and I started a little over two years ago. We had always wanted a girls’ poker group, and I used to play in one long before J and I were together, but it took us awhile to find the right group, and now we have it. It’s usually a raucous event, and it can be downright bitchy, but we have a great time together, and when we play well, some of us even come home with some cash. Of course, that’s not really the point, but it doesn’t hurt! I hope we’ll be able to create a new group after we move because it’s important to get together with women from time to time. I highly recommend starting a ladies’ poker group if you don’t have one already.

Our visit with our friend M. was really great. We relaxed and talked a lot, and she got us a baby good luck charm: a big, snuggly teddy bear. She also got us this wonderfully cuddly blanket. She says that she knows this baby will be here soon. Oh, I hope so.

Our other visitor this weekend was my cranky Aunt F. I’m never thrilled to see the hag, but this time she brings with her a bit of hope. You see, because Auntie F. arrived, we are now on the path to planning next week’s insemination! Yes, we are almost back in the game. Honestly, though, it hasn’t hit me yet, and it probably won’t until that cold little package arrives on our doorstep.

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Filed under ladies' poker, Ramblings, ttc