some explanation

Part of me feels like apologizing for the abundance of password protected posts these days. The fact is that during BG’s illness and after his death, the readership here jumped. I don’t know how many readers here found me as a result of connections through his page. I know there were times when we administered this blog address freely to people we met who wanted to get to know BG’s beginnings, but now I’m finding I want the cozy comfort of my anonymous blog back. Particularly now.

You see, the thing is, and I’ll share this with all of you, even those to whom I have not given the password, I’m trying to get pregnant. However, this is a long process. It’s fraught with details of cervical mucous and types of sperm, and it’s also characterized by a whole lot of obsessing and disappointment and processes that I just don’t want to lay out for everyone to gaze at. There is also the matter that I would rather be able to announce my pregnancy, when it does happen, to those I know in my social circle when I’m ready–after my family and close friends know– while at the same time being able to obsess about whether or not that really is a pink line with my LGBT TTC family.

I imagine that as this process progresses, I will password protect fewer post–and I do have some other matters I would love to write about– but most of those dealing directly with TTC (trying to conceive) will be under the same password I have distributed.

I appreciate your patience with all of this, those who are reading only the public posts, and for those reading the private posts, I appreciate your discretion. As you can imagine, this is all particularly sensitive this time around.



Filed under blogging, privacy

15 responses to “some explanation

  1. poppycat

    I understand your need for privacy. The details around trying to make a baby are so intimate and emotional, not something you wish to have a large audience for.

    You gave me your PW a while ago and I entered it and then promptly forgot it. The result is that my ipad remembers it enough for me to read your posts but not enough for me to write comments. It wants me to enter it again each time I wish to comment therefore I haven’t commented on the PW posts and I really want to. If you have time can you resend? I promise to write it down this time.

  2. CJ

    We have been TTC over a year now and choose not to make it public. It is a sacred, private process and nobody needs to be privy to every detail of your life. I hope this happens quickly for you. While no child can replace BG, parenting after loss does have unique healing powers (and struggles). I am anxious to watch this unfold for you!

  3. I think that makes absolutely perfect sense. I love reading your posts and assumed you just needed added privacy because you were working through things you didn’t want every person you know to be privy to. We support you (even those of us that rarely comment) and any decisions you make. If you’re still giving out the password, I’d love to follow along 🙂

  4. I hope the ttc process goes by quickly for you. I can’t find the password you emailed to me. Is there anyway you can resend it? Looking forward to following your journey. 🙂

  5. z

    long time reader here of a two mom family (to a 20 month old boy) in boston. would love to follow along if you feel comfortable sharing the pw.

  6. I’m learning firsthand what an insane journey TTC is. I had no idea how stressful and all-consuming it could be until we started trying. If i have to see another negative OPK (my big issue), I’m going to cry. (Who am I kidding? I already have.) Wishing you all the best.

  7. Hi. I meant to ask sooner, but it you are comfortable sharing it with me, I’d love to have your password. No worries either way and all the best to you. (My email is bionicmamas at gmail.)

  8. If you’re comfortable sharing I would love the password. I’m a long time reader and terrible commenter. 😦 My email is loveinventsus@gmail

    In un-related news, I’ve nominated you for a blog award! Check out my most recent post for details. Hoping that you’ll have the time to play along.

  9. It’s Rachel from the Rainbow Conceptions days… We’re in the trenches now too. May I have the password?

  10. I’m a long time reader, terrible commenter – my partner and I are in the trenches now as well. If you don’t mind I’d love the password!

  11. I’ve been a quiet reader for a long time – I stumbled on your blog when my wife and I were trying to conceive and I’m sorry that I never wrote to say how sorry I was to hear about your son. My wife and I very recently lost our little one at 22 weeks of pregnancy, and you’ve really inspired me to write through that experience, to keep blogging even though I’m afraid of sharing that much darkness. Looming in the future is the certainty that we will try to conceive again, probably relatively soon, and how scary that is going to be. If you’re comfortable, I’d be interested in reading your TTC posts. If not, I totally understand, and I wanted you to know that I think the work you’re doing is really important

  12. Hoping to follow this TTC journey and lend support and knowledge as a fellow gay mom. ♥

  13. Lo

    I’ve followed your journey silently for some time now. If you feel like sharing the password, I would be honored to continue. (my email should be attached to this comment.)

  14. I found you through villageQ and have not read your back posts but my heart goes out to your for the loss of you son. Good luck in the next part of your journey. Wishing you peace.

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