a cruel, cruel turn

I am writing this from the children’s oncology wing of a major university hospital. It seems my wife and I have just become the mothers of a Boy Genius with leukemia. We are trying not to fall apart as he receives platelet transfusions and goes in for a bone marrow biopsy and lies here with tubes all in his arms. We are trying to figure out how we don’t end up in total ruin. We are trying to figure out how to stay strong because our boy needs us.

How the fuck did this happen to us?

I’m sure I will be writing more. We will be here for at least a month. I will need something to do with my hands.

I am terrified. I am angry. I am shaking and numb.



Filed under Boy Genius

55 responses to “a cruel, cruel turn

  1. Speechless. So, so, so sorry. Keeping you all in my thoughts.

  2. nutella

    oh my god. NO!! I just don’t have the words to express how i feel reading this. Please, tell us what we can do to help you?

  3. Kirsten

    My heart just broke in two when I read this. I’ve been a lurker but I have to say that I am so sorry that you are all going through this. Our family is sending you love and thoughts and prayers and anything we can. Stay strong mamas.

  4. Oh my lord. I am so sorry. You three are in my thoughts.

  5. Michelle

    Thinking of you all, I’ve been reading your blog since you all were trying. Much love, thoughts and prayers.

  6. I’m usually just a lurker. But wanted to say I’m keeping your family in my thoughts.

  7. tbean

    Oh my goodness. This has me in tears. I cannot believe the cruel caprice of a world that would hand you and your sweet boy this fate. Please, let us know how we can help you. Sending strength and love.

  8. Valerie

    Oh my god. That is all I can say. I’m so sorry you all are having to go through this. You will be in my thoughts.

  9. This is horrible news and an incredibly stressful and scary time for you all. Sending you warm support and the strength that you’ll need in the months to come.

  10. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I will be sending you all love and healing thoughts.

  11. Oh my God. I don’t even know what to say except that you all are in my thoughts. That this happens to anyone is just unfathomable. We are all here to support you in any way we can. Please keep us posted. I am just so sorry, Mamas.

  12. There arent words. devestating 😦

  13. Kirsten

    I’m so sorry you have to go through this. So very sorry. Keep us posted (as you can) and let us and others help in any way. Though we don’t know each other, I care so deeply for your family and will be thinking of you.

  14. This is beyond terrible. I am so, so sorry. I really don’t know what else to say but I want to help in anyway I can. I know I’m far but for now I’ll send all my love and strength your way.

  15. oh god, I’m so very sorry. I don’t even know what to say except that I am sending you and BG all the love and healing I can.

  16. Oh my god. I don’t even know what to say. I am so so sorry.

    What can we do to help? Do you need anything?

  17. is there a friend or po box or somewhere we can send things to BG? or in care of the hospital? don’t want to invade your privacy, but i think a lot of us would like to do whatever we can to let you two and BG know that our thoughts are with you.

  18. I can’t think of a single meaningful thing to say but want you to know I’m here and thinking of your family. My whole body seized while reading this post. Sending strength and please, if there is anything we can do from afar…

  19. Cousin

    i left a message on facebook, but i don’t know what you will be checking first. just trying to reach you.
    we want to help any way we can. bring you blankets, toothbrushes, hot meals . . just let us know. any time of day or night.
    my heart breaks for you and we love you so so much. be strong mommas, but ask for help and support when you need it most.

    Also, please let us know where we can go to get tested to donate. (or have your mom or step-dad call the Fremont/Oakland/San Leandro folks)
    we are all here for you and we love you

  20. luckylittle13

    No. Just no. I am so sorry. If we can send a care package to make life a little easier for all of you, just say the word.

  21. I am in shock and in tears for you, your family and your boy. I can only imagine how your world has been flipped upside down. I am sending all the love and strength I have your way.

  22. nycphoenix

    OMG sitting in shock. Will be praying for you all

  23. J

    Oh my goodness. I, too, am in shock. I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry. Surrounding your family in love and light.

  24. Tui

    Wow that is cruel indeed, thinking of you all and sending the three of you lots of strength, hope and love.

  25. Bloody terrifying. Poor wee boy. You’ll all be in our thoughts. Stay strong.

  26. Sending strength and love your way. Incredibly saddened to hear this and please let us know if packages can be sent.

  27. I can’t believe it. Keeping all of you in my thoughts, and hoping that you have the local day-to-day support that those of us far away who love you can’t necessarily give.

    As PP asked – is there anything you need? Anything we can send your way to help out? Gift cards for restaurants nearby? Anything?

  28. Speechless. And utterly devastated for you. I’m so, so sorry. Our thoughts are with you and would love to help out if we can. I just can’t imagine.

  29. jilldab

    wow. i am so so so very sorry. Thinking of you all!

  30. Oh moms… I am thinking of you both. I sent you an email from my work address (bree dot davidson at lls dot org), and hope that my organization can be a resource for your family.

  31. I tried to post a comment earlier but I don’t see it. Back visiting your blog again because you’ve been on my mind and heart all day. I simply can’t wrap my head around this devastating news. I am sending strength your way and will be watching this space for opportunities to do more, so please, if you can think of anything…

  32. I read your post three times hoping that I had misunderstood. May this blog and your online community be a place of comfort and support for you and your family. We may all live far, but you have a whole community here. Sending warm thoughts and prayers.

  33. Emily

    Long time lurker, my son was born a few weeks before boy genius. I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with your family. It’s not fair. Take care of yourselves as you take care of him. Please let us know (even us lurkers) if there is anything we can do.

  34. N

    Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! All of our thoughts and prayers are with you right now. I think we are in the same general area as you so PLEASE let is know if you need anything at all! We would be happy to help out in any way we can.

  35. Gabrielle

    I can’t even imagine what you all are going through right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  36. I am so very shocked and sorry to hear this. I am so sorry. My prayers are going out to all of you.

  37. Oh my goodness! I can’t believe I missed this yesterday. I am sending all of my best get well vibes to BG. So, so sorry to hear this.

  38. slhm

    Sitting here with tears down our faces. Please let us know how to best support you and know that you are deep in our thoughts. L & H

  39. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help. Sending love. I’m so sorry. 😦

  40. I can’t find better words than I’m so incredibly sorry to read this. You will all be in my thoughts. Please keep us updated as often as you can. Love to you all.

  41. Carly

    So sorrry. So sad. So unfair. Sending hope.

  42. S n R

    So so sorry to hear this news. Your family is in our thoughts!

  43. I am so sorry. Be brave. You are brave. And you’ve got every prayer I have.

  44. Friend of Roozle's moms

    Wow. No one deserves that. How brutally unfair. Your family will be in my thoughts for a speedy recovery.

  45. Christina Roberts

    What devastating news. My family and I will be thinking of you and hoping to hear better news in the coming weeks. Hang in there!

  46. I am so sorry. You have strangers rooting for you, thanks to lifewithroozle. Look up Chicago blogger Mary Tyler Mom, Sheila Quirke. She is a huge voice and she is Donna’s Mama. Praying for you and cursing cancer…

  47. sharon brown

    cannot even imagine the depth of your fear. prayers of healing for your brave genuis and strength for you both. we are all a few keys away if you need us. sooo very sorry!!!

  48. Carlye

    My friend Casey from Lifewithroozle shared your post and I had to respond. I am a survivor of childhood leukemia (ALL) and am currently living a healthy, happy life. My battle with cancer is part of what inspired me to become a nurse. I am so sorry that you and your family have to deal with this heartbreaking diagnosis, and if there is ANYTHING you would like to ask me/need guidance with regarding this feel free to email. I’m sending the sparkliest energy your way.

  49. emilyj67

    Such devastating news — I am sending such love and strength to you three as you navigate this together. Holding you in my heart.

  50. poppycat

    All my love and support to your family and your beautiful little BG. I am angry sad and shaken as well. We are with you in spirit. We are wishing, hoping and praying for him

  51. Melissa

    Ive read your story for quite a while now and am so sad to learn of this turn. Sending love and light straight to you two and BG. LOVE a stranger friend
    Melissa M.

  52. Linnette

    This is such sad, sad news. A little boy as happy and vibrant as BG…it just isn’t fair.

    Please accept my well wishes. You’re in my thoughts.

  53. K

    Oh my goodness. I’m just now coming to see this. I’m heartbroken for you. My love and prayers for all of you. ❤ ❤ ❤

  54. Lex

    I’m so so sorry… you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  55. I am sending many thoughts and prayers for health and recovery. There is much great support for parents and families with a child being treated for cancer–I hope you find some comfort and strength there too.

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