I am so tired of complaining about exhaustion, but this schedule my wife and I are on is rough. I’m working until midnight or later most nights after being on with the boy most of the day (starting in the 6 o’clock hour). So I sleep fewer than six hours a night. I don’t nap, and now I can’t have caffeine either.

I didn’t mention this, did I? For the last couple of months, I’ve started having frequent heart palpitations. They’ve waxed and waned, but a visit to the doctor and an EKG and blood tests showed nothing, and my doctor just told me to cut the caffeine down to no more than a cup of green tea per day. Right now, this feels impossible. I’m doing it, but most days I’m feeling like a zombie. I guess I’m being referred to a cardiologist who will hook me up to a Holter monitor (portable heart monitor) for a day so that they can figure out what may be causing this. My mom says she went through something similar when she was my age. My brother, who is a few years younger than me, is enduring something very similar now. It’s freaky, and it’s very likely nothing, but boy would I like it to end.

Fortunately, my wife’s crazy final exam schedule is over at the end of this week, and then we’ll be moving into summer. I’ll get to some births, work on my doula certification, and even work at my regular job during daytime hours.

But you see, I’m so insanely tired that I don’t even know what I’m saying now. This means I need to stop, hit “publish,” and come back on a day when I can write and think with some clarity. I hope that’s tomorrow. I want to build up some momentum here (and I’ve got some questions to respond to as well!). Tomorrow’s goal: blog before midnight.



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3 responses to “enough

  1. chunkandmommy

    Oh how I wished we lived closer and could help each other in these low moments. I think BG and chunk would be good friends and supportive adult friends are so important. Hang in there, drink a beer (hey, no caffeine!) and schedule a nap. I know what it’s like to be exhausted and last night fell asleep at 8:30pm watching tv.

  2. keeshay

    I have had issues with palpitations over the past year also. In my case it has escalated to 3 episodes of atrial fibrilation (non-life threatening, but scary) that required hospitilisation. There were so many theories about what was causing it, including the caffeine (not that I have a high intake). But what I found out eventually, is that mine is triggered or made worse by stress and exhaustion. If there is any way you can get more rest, even if it means making some tough decisions, go for it. Thats what I had to do. Once I rested my symptoms eased off and they only come back now when I push too hard. Best of luck.

  3. poppycat

    No caffeine??? Thatsvjust not right! Especially with the schedule you keep. Wishing you some well deserved rest.

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