what’s new?

Thanks to all of you who have helped me keep the tumbleweeds at bay around here. I’ve been seriously slacking in my posting, and I’m disappointed in myself. What better way to jump in and not feel all that mental baggage holding me back than a bullety update sort of post, right? Maybe these will serve as prompts for bigger posts later.

  • Potty Appreciation: We’re working on this. It seems our son is one of those kids who will be in diapers until he is ten. However, we have two potties now–one for the floor and a seat for the big potty. We spend a lot of time sitting there with nothing happening. BG likes to have bits of toilet paper to shove down into the potty from time to time. I now have a semi-permanent pillow and book collection on the bathroom floor. Sadly, nothing has ever managed to come out during potty sitting time, which today was a full hour (BG’s choice; we haven’t resorted to strapping him to the seat yet).
  • Meanwhile, his cloth diapers have seen better days. I love cloth diapering, but there is an issue that arises, especially with pocket diapers and microfiber inserts that drives even the most devout to the diaper aisle at the supermarket. They develop a stench. A ridiculously awful stench. Something that permeates a room. This means they need to be stripped, and we strip ours regularly, but we’re pretty sure they’ve reached the point of no return. Therefore, most of the time we endure the stench at home, and we now use disposables in public. We’re debating whether we now buy a few new cloth, assuming they could be good for a second child, or whether we just try to endure what we have, all the while maintaining great optimism that our son and the toilet will soon work together. Don’t tell him, but my money’s on the diapers right now.
  • Our latest babysitter, this woman who has been so wonderful that BG gets mad when we come home, is leaving to be an au pair overseas. We are so sad to have to go through this process of finding a sitter yet again, especially considering how much he loves this one. However, we still have our weekly therapy session, and we still need a date from time to time, so the hunt resumes. Perhaps this time we’ll get Mary Poppins.
  • BG is starting to be a little bit social! He has been known to hug other children, hold their hands, and even play with them. We are still loving our moms’ group and especially because there are lots of kids BG’s age, several of whom are reserved little boys much like he is. There is hope that he won’t be a recluse after all.
  • We are talking preschool, which really means we’re getting an application into the school at J’s university. Unfortunately, there have been some political messes that may result in J’s underemployment. There are also budget cuts that may result in this school’s closure. Were either of these two things to happen, we’d be pretty devastated. We’d find something else, but this really is THE school for us. I mean, they have a window to the kitchen so that the kids can watch the chef (no lunch ladies here) prepare their lunches made from locally grown foods. Their menu includes items like the following: Chicken, soba noodles and vegetable (carrots, bok choy) miso soup; Chicken and winter squash curry with brown rice and peas; Cuban style black beans over brown rice, sautéed Swiss chard and carrots. There are regularly items like quinoa and hummus on the menu in various forms. It’s quite impressive. Seriously, I want to eat there! On top of this, they’ll let us use cloth diapers, and they don’t expect three-year-olds to be potty trained (it’s part of their curriculum). They have ample gardens outside, places to build and dig, places to create. It takes the best of so many different approaches to early childhood education, and we can just see that BG wouldthrivethere. AND it’s really close to the building where J’s office is. You can see why we would be fairly devastated if it closes/we can’t attend because J isn’t teaching there. We’re trying to remain optimistic, but we’re also looking for alternatives, none of which stack up in the least.
  • And because kindergarten won’t be far behind, I’ve started thinking about that. However, the thinking about that led me to find out that the state of California is slowly changing the age children begin kindergarten, and by the fall semester of 2014, the year we assumed our son would be starting kindergarten, the date a child must be five will be September 1st. He was born September 5th, which means if we can’t get some sort of waiver, our kid won’t be starting kindergarten until he is six. He will be eighteen at the beginning of his senior year of high school. I can’t imagine what caused politicians to think this would make sense (actually, I can: money), but I’m oddly worked up about it.
  • Because not everything is about my son, I am happy to report that I am enrolled in a doula training course. It happens mid-April. I’m nervous and excited and can’t believe I finally get to do this.

There really is more, but I don’t want to deluge you with too much. Instead, I just need to make a commitment to blog a little more regularly for awhile. Maybe I’ll manage to get over here a few times next week for something other than video posts. Wouldn’t that be surprising?!



Filed under Uncategorized

8 responses to “what’s new?

  1. jilldab

    we live in MN and i was oddly worked up about the whole kindergarten age thing as well and we considered getting a waiver but then didn’t. (He is an october birthday) and it worked out well for us. sure he was a bit ahead initially but he also knew how to behave better and follow rules and the like. not necessarily a bad thing! super jealous of the meal menu. i wish that was my menu!

  2. An

    Fingers crossed that you will get in to the daycare and get to stay there. I just wanted to chime in re: potty training. Apparently 3.5 is the average age for boys potty training.
    Our son (2.5 years) is at daycare in a class with kids from 2.4 – 3.5 and only about half are potty trained.
    Our son came home a month ago and decided he is a ‘big boy’ and wanted no more diapers. We were taken aback but that was pretty much the end of diapers, except for naptime and bedtime. He’s had about 5 accidents in the month.
    Obviously we’re proud of him but that’s not why I’m posting. I’m posting for 2 reasons:
    1) based on our experience with our son, I’d suggest waiting until he’s expressing independent interest. Like you, we bought potties months ago and he’d sit on it but that was it. We worried that he’d never be potty trained. At the same time, we dreaded the day we’d have to train him because we had heard all the scary stories from friends and I just didn’t see how we’d manage it. We were so conflicted because while we were willing to wait and knew there was no reason for concern most of the parents in our circle were gungho and had their kids trained in the ealy 2s (one boy was trained at 18mths). So, when we all got together, our son was the only one still in diapers. But, we also heard their stories about the battles and we just didn’t feel up to that with all the other toddler stuff.
    We are sooooo glad we didn’t succumb to pressure and waited. It was a breeze. He was ready and it did it himself. There was no battle. The accidents that have happened have been times when he’s so caught up in his activities and we forget to remind him to go. All were within the first 10 days and there haven’t been any since.
    So, he started later but he’s also had fewer accidents. Most of our friend’s kids still have accidents weekly (even those trained for about a year) and all still wear diapers to sleep so they are all in the same place. One kid rarely poos in potty. He holds it until they put on the diaper for sleep and then he poos. Sometimes they put on the ‘sleep’ diaper early because they can see he needs to poo.
    All this says to me that unless you have some pressure to do it e.g. daycare requires it, it’s best to wait until the child is ready.
    I don’t care when our other kids are ready. I will wait until they express an interest. I’m generally not that pro the whole babyled thing but I feel like it makes sense in this context. You want them to make positive associations with it, you can’t force them so if this becomes a source of conflict, you’ll likely lose.
    I don’t mean that you can’t nudge it along but I think it helps when they’ve first shown an interest. Our friend’s daughter would do it on occasion and at daycare but couldn’t be bothered most of the time so they did the cold turkey one weekend and that worked.
    2) The 2nd comment is about the amount of work it is. Like I said, potty training itself was no problem at all. What is proving to be more challenging is getting used to life with a diaper free child.
    Now we have to ask him several times a day if he needs to go. We need to make sure he goes before we head out on a long drive. We are getting more relaxed now but in the early days, we were scared to go out because we feared being stuck in traffic and the thought of navigating public bathrooms with a child who touched everything scared me.
    At least once a day in the middle of a meal, he’ll announce that he needs to go so one of us has to rush to the bathroom with him. Last week after we were all bundled up to head to daycare, he had to poo so we had to unbundle etc.
    He leaves the tap running and his hands don’t reach on his own so we’re a long way from letting him go on his own.
    Diaper free living has added 20 minutes to the bedtime routine as he now uses it as a way to delay bedtime but since we would rather he poo before he goes to bed, we try to give him time to do so.
    All that to say, it is an important milestone and I understand the desire to have one’s child do it, but it really changes things. Right now, BG just pees and poos without involving you. Potty training means you are supervising every step of it.
    I am certainly in no hurry with his siblings. People comment on us having two kids in diapers. I’d take that any day over 2 potty trained toddlers.
    We decided early on that we weren’t going to do the book in the bathroom thing since so many people had said how great it is at first but if your child is a book loving child (which ours is and it sounds like BG is too – our son also memorises all his books – it takes him about 3 reads of any book – cat in the hat, giving tree whatever) they are happy to sit there for hours reading. We decided rather than have potty time become a reading time, we’d frame it as a break i.e. ‘lets pee quickly so we can go back to reading”
    Sorry for the long reply. Good luck

  3. HP was just like the son of the poster above us. I feared he would never do it but last weekend he decided, out of nowhere, that he was ready (34months). We were blown away! Sure he’s had a few accidents in the week but he’s done great and stayed mostly dry during the day all week! They want us to bring underwear to school Monday! As I should have known, it had to be his decision on HIS time. Maybe BG will be the same?

  4. Re: the microfiber stench – we were having a horrid time with this as well – washing multiple times, trying different detergents and always being greeted with that stench when we opened the dryer to take them out. Then we discovered that Bum Genius actually makes a diaper detergent and I cannot even begin to explain the difference. We were previously trying rinsing immediately after use and every day until washing but now let the diapers sit in a pail until wash day (only a couple days since we’re doing two right now) and then do a load on cold with no detergent and then a load on hot with the detergent. It’s worked magic. I’d highly highly recommend trying it to see if it can solve your stench too.

    • reproducinggenius

      Thanks, yes, we’re using Charlie’s Soap which is essentially the same thing as the diaper specific soaps–just more widely available. It’s great for stripping diapers or anything else that retains odors or develops build-up from traditional detergents. Unfortunately, even seven or eight times through the hottest of wash cycles, just two of those with detergent, then one with a bit of bleach (because sometimes it’s bacteria that causes the stench) and more than one with a vinegar rinse, we still had no luck. I appreciate your suggestion, though, and I would highly recommend to anyone else out there who uses microfiber to make sure you ALWAYS use diaper-friendly detergents (like those made by the diaper manufacturers OR Charlies Soap or BioKleen–the two more widely distributed good ones we’ve used).

  5. Pourlebebe

    We had the stench issue. It got much, much better using Rocking Green instead of Charlies. Now we have a huge bottle of Charlies that has sat unused for six months!

  6. S

    Hi I’m delurking to say that our state has the sept 1 cutoff too. At first I was annoyed for my oct son but then I read all these article about how good it is for boys especially to be the older kiddos in class. Apparently lots of parents with children who have August bdays are holding them back to give them an advantage. So I figured we’d take advantage of following the rules and hope that it means are son is ahead and happy vs struggling. I was born five days after the cutoff so was always the oldest. School was sometimes boring but I always did very well and likely that will happen for the next generation. He’s your son’s year though so we don’t know yet how it will turn out. A local family is looking for a babysitter tomorrow night. Would it be ok to give them your number?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s