a placeholder of sorts

I have a big heady post brewing in response to the last one I wrote, but it’s been a challenging week. We’re seeing some marginal improvement on the hitting, have seen no biting, and while we’re still having normal two-year-old outbursts and meltdowns, I would like to think some of the order and consistency we’ve implemented may be helping. More on that later. It’s also entirely possible that the fact that he has another cold has mellowed him out a bit.

Anyway, we’re hanging in there, and mulling over so much of what was written in response to that post, reading some good brain development books (if you haven’t checked out The Whole Brain Child, do so–WOW), and rethinking how we’ve done things around here. I do think after reading what I wrote that maybe BG is coming across as a small tyrant. That is not the case, and I really don’t think he has any abornmal behavior issues that will send us to our nearest behavioral psychologist; I think he’s in need of clearer, more consistent boundaries and responses to undesirable behavior. Again, more on this later. I want to spend some time with it. What I don’t want to do, however, is leave that last post up here as my most current. It doesn’t feel right to dwell on that because this behavior is a small part of who our son is.

Tomorrow, if our family is well, we are off on a roadtrip to visit California’s armpit (don’t ask–ugh) to visit J’s family whom she hasn’t seen in many years. BG will meet his uncle and cousin as well as some great aunts/uncles. This marks twelve years since her parents passed away. BG is very excited about packing his backpack and going for a stay in a “nice room” (hotel room) where he is most looking forward–positively giddy, in fact– to seeing and playing with the in-room coffee maker. I hope it doesn’t disappoint.


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5 responses to “a placeholder of sorts

  1. I hope you have a good road trip. I hope I didn’t offend when I mentioned a psychologist….that really wasn’t to say that his behavior was abnormal for his age or he has a true problem. I actually suggested it as a way to learn different techniques to handle it or ways to alter your own parenting to accommodate for the backlash from him (including firm boundaries, routine, etc). It seems like you’re changing things already which is great. I hope you continue to see improvement. I know he has lots of sweet times and is not a tyrant 😉

    • reproducinggenius

      Oh no, not at all! We actually have talked with our own therapist about him. Most of the reading we’re doing is in neuropsychology/psychiatry (inspired by the work we’re doing with our therapist), so we’re all about seeking out professional help! (Just not taking him to a therapist himself at this point–if it gets worse, we’ll certainly seek that out.) What I wrote was as much reassurance for myself as anything. I just felt I had misrepresented him a bit because we were in the trenches at the moment and after reading what I wrote, I had a big dose of mommy guilt. No offense taken at all. Hey, I asked for advice, and I am open to anything I can get! 🙂

  2. Haha! I love the last few lines of this post! It made me smile to think of a little one getting excited about a coffee maker 🙂

  3. Just coming to your blog for the first time. I read your last post and don’t think you described your child as a tyrant. You just sounded like a concerned mom looking for both help and support. I hope you got it! My little one isn’t yet at the toddler years but I hear they can be awfully trying. Hang in there! You’re doing a great job!

  4. An

    Take heart. Only a person who hasn’t parented a toddler or spent a lot of time around them would have read that post to mean your son is a tyrant. He is a toddler and you are the parent of a toddler wondering what all the toddler behaviour might or might not amount to. Ten years from now we’ll all look back and see how it was a phase completely unrelated to our children’s character but, in the absence of that perspective that can only come from hindsight, we worry. That’s sooooo normal. You’re awesome parents.

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