little boys and their toys

I can only imagine the traffic this post is going to generate. You’ll see why in a moment.

Things have been so dismal on my blog (and in my life) lately, that I thought I would share an amusing anecdote about my son, something that will surely embarrass him when he stumbles across this blog when he’s fifteen. I just can’t help it.

Something that people warned us about when I learned I was pregnant with a boy was that he was going to get erections. Um, yeah, I know, he’s male, I would reply. But no, they said, he’ll get them early and often, and you’re going to be surprised. I laughed, and J and I prepared ourselves for the occasional baby stiffy.

Then our precious baby boy arrived, and within a month or so, we saw our first one. It made us laugh because there was this teeny tiny baby with a teeny tiny erection, and it was just sort of cute. The air during diaper changes must have just caught him the right way, and there it would be. When J and I had discussed the early warnings about this, we always thought it would make us uncomfortable, but instead, just like everything else about our new son, it was cute, just another piece of little boy perfection.

Oddly, they went away for awhile–for quite some time really. But then as BG got closer to one and a half and two, they returned, but this time, they seemed more–uh, real. He definitely found it strange and uncomfortable, but if it was wiped during a diaper change, he would smile a smile that no mother wants to see on her toddler. We would simply cover it back up with a diaper and move along.

But then he started talking about it. He learned the word “penis,” and he would tell us, “Penis hurt!” There were a couple of times he cried a little about this, and we would check it to find that it was doing its thing, so we would tell him it would go away if he stopped thinking about it, and we’d cover it back up with his diaper.

It was around this same time that our son became quite a bit more active outside, so he was constantly getting skinned knees, little scrapes, various little “owies” that needed bandaids and kisses. He loved the owie-kissing ritual and would kiss our owies, kiss his own, kiss the cats. We found this appropriately adorable.

One day, our son was getting a diaper change, and when I opened up his diaper, there was his penis erect as can be, and he said, “Mommy, penis hurt!”

“I know son, I know,” I said. He grabbed at it, and I encouraged him to stop touching it. “It will stop hurting in a second. Just leave it alone.”

But he relented, “Mommy, penis hurt!” And then finally, it clicked for him. He knew just what I could do. “Mommy, kiss penis. Penis hurt. Kiss penis. Make penis better.”

I don’t think I have to tell you that this is one owie I would not kiss.


Filed under Boy Genius, parenting boys

13 responses to “little boys and their toys

  1. Cousin

    made me giggle 🙂 as i can only imagine what i get to look forward to, as currently, my son just grabs it and pulls it as hard as he can with a little smirk on his face. . . .

  2. Priceless!! This made me laugh out loud. Hysterically.

  3. OMFG soooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. LOL. So funny. We’re also starting to have to explain the more ‘private’ nature of that part. And please don’t play with it while you’re sitting on your potty waiting to pee!

  5. Karen

    Rofl! No boys in our family (if the big ultrasound next week doesn’t surprise us, we have an early guess that it’s another girl). But my kidlet who turns 3 next week has been exploring her bits, lately. Sometimes I give her little leg, foot, and back massages, so one evening she was demanding various massages and then asked for “peepee massage!” I told her I don’t do those. Lol.

  6. Kim

    My son has been quite in touch with his ‘little friend’ for as long as I remember. When he was about 2, he would say to me, “Watch! If I bang on it, it gets bigger…” Charming.

    Needless to say, at almost 6 years old, we have had SEVERAL conversations on where and when it is appropriate to make one’s penis “big.” 🙂

  7. LOL! Our son is 16, so I am pretty sure he is having a lot of fun with his (on his own – not with others)!

    He has always been very modest, and my wife swears he never did anything like BG, but I am sure he has. Oh the joy of boys! Hahahaha!

  8. Jen

    I am laughing outloud at my desk. Awesome story. Chunk is also becoming very aware of his parts (and my parts) and I am already having awkward moments with my curious toddler. Kids.

  9. Vee

    Oh it doesn’t bear thinking about! That made me spray my cornflakes this morning! Thank goodness BB is pretty uninterested in his (this far)!

  10. Christina Roberts

    When he was about 2, our son tried to convince his twin sister to bite his penis during bath time. “Bite my pee-pee, Yeeyah, bite my pee-pee!”. Fortunately she did not take him up on the offer.

  11. poppycat

    I’m sitting in a hospital surgery waiting room trying not to laugh out loud at this! Hilarious! I did nt realize they got them so early. I haven’t seem one yet, how can that be?

    This reminds me of a story a friend told me about her son. They were walking through a Nordstrom when herntoddler stopped in the middle of the busy hard isle and started screaming bloody murder that his penis hurt. He wouldn’t budge or stop screaming until he dropped his pants and she inspected it, right there while all the other shoppers either giggled or watched in horror.

    Agh, the things I have to look forward to!

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