My wife and I have made a commitment to have a weekly date night, regardless of how small that “date” might be. This week was our first, and here are the rules: We take turns being in charge, and the person in charge decides where we are going, what we are doing, and also contacts our babysitter. The person in charge also doesn’t notify the other what is happening. All we tell one another is what sort of attire is required. This secrecy makes it all the more fun because we get to surprise the other with new and exciting things, and because we live in a new city, there are endless things to explore and surprise one another with.
This week was our first date night, and I got to go first. I chose a very cool wine bar in this funky old part of town where we got to go meet some winemakers from a teeny tiny winery. They poured their wines, talked to us about how they make their wine, and we enjoyed some real adult time. There was a guy playing emotional man music in the corner. It should have been much quieter, but instead they had his amps turned way, way up, so there was a lot of shouting. It was comical, but the wine was damn good–and so was the company. After our tasting, we took a walk to a coffee house and walked along the streets. It was so strange because I remembered exactly how it used to be for us, and then we’d talk about BG and remember–oh yeah, we’re parents too.
This balance is something we have yet to strike–being parents and adults and a couple and individuals. It is something we have both yearned for, and we’re beginning to see just how vital it is for our mental health alone, let alone for the health of our relationship. It was a mere two hours, and our babysitter sat and did homework or chatted on Facebook while BG slept, but knowing we could do this, knowing that this adult part of our lives that we enjoyed so much before he came along is still accessible was so priceless. I wish we had done this so much sooner; I’m so glad we’re doing it now.