mired

I’ve got writer’s block in so many ways it’s just sad. But I don’t want this blog to die. It’s been such a comfort to have this space. That I’m not using it is fairly symptomatic of most of my life right now. I’m in this space where I am having a hard time doing much of anything good for myself. For example, I’ve had this order for routine blood tests for a month now, and I can’t even get myself to do that. This is the sort of thing I’m usually on top of, but nope.  I’m stuck, and I’m not quite sure how to dig my way out. Maybe blogging feels a little too naked right now, or maybe mommy blogging about all of my son’s latest achievements isn’t what I need.

J and I are having a woman we met through our mom’s group watch BG tomorrow. This will be his first time being watched by anyone but my mom–and we’ve only left him with her a few times for a few short hours. I’m a little terrified, but we need this time to find our way through some of our own muck. Perhaps doing that will free up some words for me.

I hope so. I really don’t like this space I’m in at all.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “mired

  1. O my, so sorry for the mired indeed. Maybe some regular time that BG gets to be with another loving caregiver would ease things — either so that the two of you can be together, or just for his flexibility and yours? (unless perhaps you are committed to being the sole caregivers, and/or my assvice is totally unwarranted!) thinking of you with care.

  2. Jen

    I will reply to your email, but I am here for you too. Sometimes blogging a tad ‘naked’ can help the process because I know the muck and the stuck feeling. I am thinking about you and here when you need a shoulder.

  3. Ainsley

    Hey, here I am, checking back in! I understand the “muck” feeling, and I hope a night out helps you a bit. Having those times away has helped S. and I tremendously.

    xoxo

  4. I’m feeling the same way right now (though you wouldn’t know it from my chipper blog– I still can’t get myself to put it out there like that). I hope the time off helps, and that you start feeling more like yourself soon. I’m cheering you on from the sidelines!

  5. I hope your babysitting went well. I don’t like leaving Bee. She isn’t a plunk anywhere and run kid. She needs a good 20 minutes of watching before she is ready in new situations. It helps me to remind myself, that kids are actually quite durable and if she didn’t ever care when I left her that that would be something to worry about.

    I hope you can find a little time for yourself, and time together with J, to find your energy again.

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