home sweet home

Suddenly, I’m living in a whirlwind. We’re moving out at the end of the month, but we’ll get keys to the new place on the 22nd. J liked it, by the way. She saw tons of potential in it. It’s a country house, so there are some things that we’ll have to grow accustomed to, like no dishwasher. Other things, we’ll have to add ourselves like extra counter space in the kitchen. But we get to paint if we want to, which we will do over time, and we get to garden, which we’ll start right away, and overall, it’s going to be an excellent experience. I know this. We have french doors in our bedroom that look out onto a huge yard with fruit trees. There’s not much one has to do to get used to that.

J and I have been talking so long about moving to this town, but now that it’s happening, we’re having to give ourselves some reality checks. Moving isn’t going to change everything. It isn’t going to take away our relationship problems or solve our son’s sleep issues (although, wouldn’t it be cool if that country quiet was just what he needed)? It’s not going to change the fact that we are underpaid and that I’m underemployed. These are some tough things to keep in mind when I just want to jump in and be excited, but it is important that we do, that we don’t paint this as some sort of utopia where we’ll have everything we ever wanted and all our troubles will be erased lest we be hugely disappointed when we get there. But we can have the things we want if we work toward them, and this place is going to make that so much easier.

In the meantime, we have to plan this move, and we have a few obstacles. First is determining how to make this as easy as possible on our son. We may be weary of this apartment, but it is the only home he knows, has ever known. He knows where everything is here and where everything needs to go (he lets us know when things are out of place). He has his routines, and when we come home from a trip–long or short–he likes to say “Home!” as we climb the stairs and then again as we enter the door. He’s going to miss this home, and I think it will be hard for him to understand for awhile that this new place is home. It pains me a little to think about this, to think that he’s going to feel displaced and disoriented for awhile.

But kids are resilient, and my son is no exception. He’s going to love that he can just step out the door and be outside, that we won’t have to carry him outside and down the stairs and then cling to his little hand as we venture by the parking lot in order for him to walk around and enjoy some fresh air. Instead, he’ll be able to roam as far as our fences take him. He can play with the super-friendly dog next door. He can pick apples and eat them. He can dig in the dirt and roll around in the grass. Our Baby Genius is soon going to have an outdoor life, and that is going to trump any attachment to this apartment, right?

I guess I may be having my own feelings of sadness leaving this place. It’s where J and I found ourselves outside of Humboldt County, where we had our successful insemination, where we had our positive pregnancy test, where my water broke. It was the home to which we brought our brand new Baby Genius, the home in which he uttered his first babbles, ate his first foods, took his first steps. It’s a place we’ll miss because we have memories here–really amazing memories.

But we know well that memories are created wherever we are, and frankly, I look forward to making new ones–planting a garden, picking apples, canning our own applesauce, watching our boy run around in the yard, seeing our cats basking in the sun in relative peace. These are going to be beautiful new memories, and they will be the memories that make this new place home for awhile.

Eventually, and so long as we find this town to be the community we truly have been seeking, we hope to be in the position to buy a house there, to put down deeper roots. It’s hard picking up every few years, living like nomads. Moving to this community, though, is a chance for us to relax, to settle in a little, to stop searching for just the right place. We fully intend to invest ourselves in the community, work on making more friends, and find friends for our son. All three of us are tired of living lives on hold, and it feels like maybe, just maybe, we’ll starting living in our new place. April 1st can’t come soon enough.



Filed under moving

8 responses to “home sweet home

  1. Will you have help with BG while you move? Having just done a big move with a 4mo and 19mo, I can say that setting up familiar sleeping space first is absolutely essential! If it would be possible to have the entire bedroom unpacked and finished before he sees the new place, that would be awesome.. If not, it’s where I would focus energy at the very beginning. Sleep is incredibly important and anything you can do to make that more familiar (though I wouldn’t slide backwards on the night weaning if it’s going well) will help him. My guess is that he’ll have much less difficulty transitioning than you will! He’ll be thrilled and settle right in!

  2. Jen

    I think that with any transition, there will be positive and negatives. Since BG is so young, it won’t really understand what is going on, but on the flip side, it won’t remember any of it anyway. What is important is that you guys are creating an even better environment for your family and hopefully this new space will help to create more balance and peace within yourselves. I am really, really happy for you and I think you will all blossom in the country!

  3. I know it is going to be a big change for everyone, but the space you will be gaining… I am envious! good luck with all the planning.

  4. poppycat

    I think BG is going to transition easily to the new digs with, maybe, a few days of adjustment. Having so many new adventures and experiences will surely thrill him and also probably leave him exhausted and ready for a hard sleep each night too.

    Of course this move will not fix everything that needs fixing but what it will do is take away some of the strain and oppression you feel every day, leaving you in a much better place to address some of the problematic things in your life. I think just having that luxury will give you a whole new perspective on old issues. I bet even BG will notice it!

    I can’t wait to hear all about your new town and friends, about your garden and about all the beautiful new memories of little family RG in the country house. I’m very happy this worked out so well for you.

  5. poppycat

    PS – what a great opportunity for pictures! Hint hint.

  6. It sounds so lovely and peaceful and idyllic! And I’ll bet he adjusts wicked fast, especially with so many new things to see and explore. And how wonderful to leave the stress of the current place behind. Good luck with the move!

  7. I hope the move goes smoothly for you all and that this new place becomes all you hope it will be for your family. Enjoy it.

  8. This really does feel like a big step in the right direction. Loving where you live makes things better overall I think. and BG will find his new groove just as you will.

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