Suddenly, I’m living in a whirlwind. We’re moving out at the end of the month, but we’ll get keys to the new place on the 22nd. J liked it, by the way. She saw tons of potential in it. It’s a country house, so there are some things that we’ll have to grow accustomed to, like no dishwasher. Other things, we’ll have to add ourselves like extra counter space in the kitchen. But we get to paint if we want to, which we will do over time, and we get to garden, which we’ll start right away, and overall, it’s going to be an excellent experience. I know this. We have french doors in our bedroom that look out onto a huge yard with fruit trees. There’s not much one has to do to get used to that.
J and I have been talking so long about moving to this town, but now that it’s happening, we’re having to give ourselves some reality checks. Moving isn’t going to change everything. It isn’t going to take away our relationship problems or solve our son’s sleep issues (although, wouldn’t it be cool if that country quiet was just what he needed)? It’s not going to change the fact that we are underpaid and that I’m underemployed. These are some tough things to keep in mind when I just want to jump in and be excited, but it is important that we do, that we don’t paint this as some sort of utopia where we’ll have everything we ever wanted and all our troubles will be erased lest we be hugely disappointed when we get there. But we can have the things we want if we work toward them, and this place is going to make that so much easier.
In the meantime, we have to plan this move, and we have a few obstacles. First is determining how to make this as easy as possible on our son. We may be weary of this apartment, but it is the only home he knows, has ever known. He knows where everything is here and where everything needs to go (he lets us know when things are out of place). He has his routines, and when we come home from a trip–long or short–he likes to say “Home!” as we climb the stairs and then again as we enter the door. He’s going to miss this home, and I think it will be hard for him to understand for awhile that this new place is home. It pains me a little to think about this, to think that he’s going to feel displaced and disoriented for awhile.
But kids are resilient, and my son is no exception. He’s going to love that he can just step out the door and be outside, that we won’t have to carry him outside and down the stairs and then cling to his little hand as we venture by the parking lot in order for him to walk around and enjoy some fresh air. Instead, he’ll be able to roam as far as our fences take him. He can play with the super-friendly dog next door. He can pick apples and eat them. He can dig in the dirt and roll around in the grass. Our Baby Genius is soon going to have an outdoor life, and that is going to trump any attachment to this apartment, right?
I guess I may be having my own feelings of sadness leaving this place. It’s where J and I found ourselves outside of Humboldt County, where we had our successful insemination, where we had our positive pregnancy test, where my water broke. It was the home to which we brought our brand new Baby Genius, the home in which he uttered his first babbles, ate his first foods, took his first steps. It’s a place we’ll miss because we have memories here–really amazing memories.
But we know well that memories are created wherever we are, and frankly, I look forward to making new ones–planting a garden, picking apples, canning our own applesauce, watching our boy run around in the yard, seeing our cats basking in the sun in relative peace. These are going to be beautiful new memories, and they will be the memories that make this new place home for awhile.
Eventually, and so long as we find this town to be the community we truly have been seeking, we hope to be in the position to buy a house there, to put down deeper roots. It’s hard picking up every few years, living like nomads. Moving to this community, though, is a chance for us to relax, to settle in a little, to stop searching for just the right place. We fully intend to invest ourselves in the community, work on making more friends, and find friends for our son. All three of us are tired of living lives on hold, and it feels like maybe, just maybe, we’ll starting living in our new place. April 1st can’t come soon enough.