Yesterday was my 35th birthday–my first birthday as a mom. It was so different. BG hadn’t gotten the memo that he was to be on his best behavior, so when J went to teach in the morning, he was fairly crabby and clingy and was not very understanding of me needing to get the two of us ready for a day in the city. But I wouldn’t trade that morning for any other. I stared at my son as we woke up so grateful for him–the greatest gift I’ve ever had. Once J came home to pick us up, we had a beautiful day at the California Academy of Sciences enjoying seeing all kinds of crazy fish and other creatures. By then our boy was at his best so happy to be in the Ergo with his moms as we traded him back and forth throughout the day. It was a perfect day.
But this time of year is so much more now than my birthday or J’s birthday or the beginning of the school year. It marks the anniversary of BG’s arrival. As we approach his birthday, J and I find ourselves reflecting on the days leading up to his birth. Yesterday was the anniversary of our last birth class. A year ago today, we had our last midwife appointment with lots of talk of induction. I remember weeping much of the day because I felt I was having my power ripped from me. And I remember my wife talking me through it, helping me come up with an affirmation, showing me that everything would be all right that somehow this baby was coming on our terms. And tomorrow–tomorrow is the anniversary of doing everything we could to get our baby to show up before his due date. Most notably, we walked in every air-conditioned store we could. Imagine the looks I got at the local home improvement store, my belly so huge people thought I was surely having twins.
It was such a time of anticipation. I was anxious, nervous, happy, excited, a little scared of what the birth of this baby would mean. I love looking back on it all, and part of me almost misses that time. There is nothing quite as intoxicating as that feeling of becoming. But I have to say, it is just as fun now looking forward to what each new moment with this boy is going to bring , to be able to witness his becoming, to continue to watch ourselves grow and evolve as a family.
I am such a lucky woman.