a reluctant juggler

I’m getting a good taste this week of some serious multi-tasking. There is a class that I have been offered for next January, one that I will get to teach online for the community college with which I am currently affiliated. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time, and it’s an exciting endeavor. It may mean that I’ll have the teensiest bit of job stability at this college (in that I might get one of these online classes each semester), and it will mean that I can teach from home on my own schedule when Egghead is here. It’s a good deal.

What isn’t such a great deal is that I have put off planning this thing until now. My due date to submit the course for approval is August 31st, and I am in panic mode. So what do I do to get the ball rolling? I sit down to blog. Yes, that’s me: the ultimate procrastinator. Honestly, I’ve planned this very class for in-person classes dozens of times. I’ve taught many sections of this class, and I have used online components, so I really just have to make that final leap, but I can’t get my head there. I don’t want to be an academic right now. I want to be the flighty, forgetful, full-of-excitement mom-to-be that I am, and this task keeps pulling me away from all that. Egghead’s giant knee poking out of the upper portion of my belly doesn’t help me stay focused. It just doesn’t. I guess I’m learning the earliest and most gentle of lessons about what life is going to be like as an academic mom.

Can I tell you a secret? I don’t really like it.

I’m far more interested in Egghead’s newest diaper covers than I am in helping young college students find their academic voices. I would far rather read about breastfeeding and swaddling than the latest best practices on teaching grammar. Is this how I’m going to be from now on? Am I really losing sight of my career already? I don’t know–I think I’m just caught up in the excitement of being a new parent, and I’m honestly burnt out on teaching the same thing year after year. But that is nothing new. I’ve been burnt out on this for awhile.

So today I’m juggling. I’m still working at another online educational support job, and that has picked up this month to six hours a day. On top of that, I’ve got to get this class finished (and familiarize myself enough with the technology I’m to use in order to make it work), and on top of that, we’ve got birth class to attend, a hospital to tour, a car to get in working order, and my wife’s birthday this week–and my sister is coming for a quick visit this weekend. Need I even say that I’m a smidge overwhelmed? Is it really a surprise that all I want to do is float around in the pool and then sit in the shade with a good novel or go for a picnic with my lovely wife?

Alas, it’s back to the juggling I go.

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10 Comments

Filed under blogtherapy, Egghead, teaching

10 responses to “a reluctant juggler

  1. A.

    I think your honesty is refreshing. I, too, wonder what it will be like to have to think about work once a baby is here.

    good luck getting over that hump and planning for the class!

  2. lyn

    For what it is worth, I found that a baby really helped me on the academic work front. I took a solid break of no work at all when our first arrived, and when it was time to start back up again I found I enjoyed my work more, and got much more done in much less time (and that was with staying home with the baby 3 1/2 work days out of five). Before the birth though? I was absolutely useless on the work front. So even though it’s hard now, you may well hit a good, or at least reasonable, balance once you meed Egghead and get to know what your new life is like. Hang in there.

    • reproducinggenius

      Thanks, Lyn. It helps tremendously to see that perspective, and I can see how that might happen for me as well. If I can just plow through for now…

  3. working from home with the online classes sounds like it would be perfect for you with the new baby. i hope everything works out the way you want it to.

  4. An upcoming baby seems to trump pretty much everything, so it’s not surprising you’re not into work these days. Who knows what will happen, but I definitely feel it’s true that it’s harder to focus on work matters when the little one is always at the back of your mind.

  5. Jodi

    So, what you’re saying is that you want to feel, not think — is that about right?

  6. reproducinggenius

    Hmmm…I think I want to feel, and I want to think about the things I choose to think about (or, rather, the one thing that I can’t seem to will my mind not to think about).

  7. I totally don’t blame you for being in the no-work place you’re in. It’s all about the baby right now….and it sort of should be. This is a hugggge moment in your life and these times are precious.

    I must say that the prospect of you teaching online (while the baby genius plays at your feet) looks pretty darn good. Submit that course for approval girl! Seriously though, I am excited for you. Nothing is perfect, but that sounds close to it!

    Hoping you get everything done off your list with time to spare for relaxing and enjoying the last blissful weeks of this pregnancy.

    Ps. The singing doula sounds pretty cool!
    PPs. One month from today is your due date! Holy crap!

  8. poppycat

    Oh sister, that’s quite a pickle! I can’t say I blame you. I seem to have that problem just in ttc mode. I can imagine what a slacker I might become once i have a baby. You will work it out.

    I hope you are able to bang out your class plans easily so you can relax. Good luck!

  9. alimis

    An online course sounds fantastic! I would love to be able to teach my students from home.
    I also think it would be tremendously difficult to think about work as the time to meet your little genius draws near!
    -Peony

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