My medical care during this pregnancy has been sufficient, adequate, fine–but the administrative and bureaucratic issues surrounding that care have not ended. Around every corner is another fiasco. You know that great ultrasound we had last week? I scheduled it three weeks in advance. I woke up the morning beforehand thinking I needed to call the clinic to confirm the appointment, and I’m so glad I did, for they no longer had me scheduled. Luckily, they resolved the issue, but the fact that this came as no surprise to me is a little alarming. You can read back through the archives to see the other issues we’ve dealt with, but in short, every visit to the doctor has come with some weird administrative issue from the theft of my records to mysteriously cancelled appointments to appointments being moved to other providers.
It should come as no surprise then, that this most recent attempt to find us some new health coverage is also coming with its fair share of hassles. Despite the “rush” that was placed on our application for state healthcare, our case is still pending. Now that it is still pending, J and I have made too much money this month. I just read that if it is found that we have made too much money in a month, then we will be expected to quickly rid ourselves of our “excess” cash by putting it toward medical bills the state would otherwise have paid. In short, we’ll be punished for making a bit of money to cover our rent, food, and utilities over the summer and instead will pay cash for our medical bills just like we’re doing right now.
The tiny silver lining is that we’ll now qualify for the middle-income state-sponsored insurance, so we’re going to pursue that, and that seems great, right? Well, yes, in some ways, I suppose; however, with this insurance, there will be no birth center. The birth center will let us pay $5000 cash, or they will honor one major health insurance company (to which we have no access), or they will take Medi-Cal. They will not honor any of the three insurance companies this new coverage uses. This means that there will likely be no birth center for us. This means we’re back to a hospital birth, back to an OB, back to conditions we had so tried to avoid and so wanted to escape.
My wife keeps telling me today she’s going to deliver our son. We have joked that we will call my brother the paramedic and his wife the nurse to attend the birth. Or perhaps I’ll just go squat in a field by myself.
In all seriousness, I’m trying to come to terms with this. I have long wanted a midwife-attended birth center birth. If we didn’t live in a busy apartment complex, I would have wanted a home birth. These things aren’t likely going to happen (unless we decide to stop bringing in income), so I’ve given myself the day to mourn, and now I’m putting on my big girl pants and figuring out how to make this hospital birth the best we can. We’ll be looking into doulas, possibly exploring the other two midwives at our OB clinic to see if they’re any less scatter-brained than the one we met a couple of months ago, and checking out the “birth centers” at a couple of hospitals, and then we’ll proceed from there. Ultimately, I know it’s most important that the baby and I are both well cared for during the birth. I just hate that our hopes and dreams for this birth now seem so far out of reach.