sing me a lullaby

I’ve had it with trying to sleep. I want to be a day sleeper. I’m turning into one by necessity. I just can’t seem to sleep through the night.

Here is what my average night looks like:

10:30: Go to bed to read. Read for half an hour.

11:00: Turn off the lights, and try to get comfy on my left side. Snuggle with my wife for a moment.

11:10: Begin the process of settling my mind and body and falling asleep.

11:15: Realize that I can’t breathe through my nose. Open the window.

11:30: Flip to my other side, and finally fall asleep.

12:00: Flip to my other side.

12:30: Flip to my other side because my arm is asleep.

12:50: Look at the clock and sigh. I haven’t even made it through two hours yet.

1:00: Get up to pee. Sleep on the toilet for five minutes.

1:06: Make my way back to bed. Snuggle with my wife to warm up.

1:30: Flip over because my hips hurt.

1:50: Flip over again.

2:00: Place extra pillow between my knees to relieve hip pain.

2:30: Attempt to flip, and throw extra pillow on the floor.

2:31: Look at clock, take a sip of water, and whimper at the thought of doing this for at least four more hours.

I think you get the picture. I have been getting up at least three times a night to pee, and I flip from one side to the other no fewer than 5 billion times. It’s miserable. My stuffy nose is certainly part of it, and part of it is that my wife and I seem to like to cuddle more than we used to. Unfortunately, as a result, my poor sleep habits result in her poor sleeping. My need for an open window also results in her freezing. I fear we are going to soon end up in separate beds. I really don’t know what to do.

I have considered one of those pregnancy pillows, but as evidenced above, I tend to flip a lot, and I have  heard that they don’t allow for flipping. (Imagine a fish still alive on the banks of a river, and you have an accurate picture of me trying to sleep.) Looking at them, I can’t imagine how one would flip. I fear that this would only anger me and result in the pregnancy pillow living on the floor, and a pregnancy pillow on the floor just becomes a plaything for cats.

Dr. Sears and his wife Martha claim that these sleep difficulties are preparations for when the baby is born. I say fuck Dr. Sears and Martha. Frankly, I’m a procrastinator, and I’m fine with prepping in the month or even weeks before the baby’s arrival. For now, I want just a few uninterrupted nights of sleep per week. Is that really too much to ask?



Filed under complaint department, sleep, the P word

14 responses to “sing me a lullaby

  1. A.

    Oh boy, this doesn’t bode well for me! I’m also having a lot lot lot of trouble sleeping, and I’m significantly less along than you. I say we both try the pregnancy pillow and report back. 🙂

  2. Try using a neti pot twice a day. It really helps with the congestion. I hate doing it but it really helps. I also use those nasal strip things. The sleep thing doesn’t get any easier, sadly. Pregnancy pillows do help. It’s harder to roll over, but it certainly makes you more comfortable. I use the snoogle because a friend gave it to me, and it seems to work, though I’m sure others do too. I can’t sleep without it now. But still, I toss and turn, my hips hurt, my arms fall asleep. I just give myself more hours to sleep and hope some of them are restful. Good luck.

  3. well, as a confirmed flipper, i can say that the Snoogle saved my marriage/sanity. pre-Snoogle I was using an elaborate combination of pillows, which had to be rearranged/retrieved with every flip. I can flip over within the Snoogle while only making minimal adjustments, and there’s nothing to fall.

    the Snoogle also solved my arm-going-asleep problem. and nothing but time solved the night-peeing problem. :/ but at least with the Snoogle it meant that getting comfortable again wasn’t a big deal.

    there’s my product plug du jour!

    p.s. in desperation, on the Snoogle shopping trip I also bought the Boppy maternity pillow. I thought it sucked, and it’s in its package in the back of my car waiting to be returned.

  4. oh, you poor girl. i remember all too well tossing and turning and never being able to get comfortable before i got a pillow. i like to sleep on my side, and then flip to the other side multiple times in the night. so, i’m used to flipping back and forth. i got a regular body pillow with a super comfy fleece cover when i was preggo. it makes your back feel worlds better, and takes pressure off your hips. WAY better than the snoogle maternity body pillows, in my opinion. honestly, try it…i think it will REALLY help. you have to get used to it, but then sleep goes back to being heavenly, instead of something you keep trying to find.

    good luck! xo

  5. nutella

    Oh dear, I wish I could tell you it will get better, but I doubt it will. The Snoogle did help me for several months and it wasn’t too terrible to keep flipping from side to side while using it. I’m at the point now where nothing is comfortable and I’m peeing every 2 hours. Needless to say, my sleep is for shit. For your sake (an your wife’s!) I hope you find a solution or at least something to make you sleep better. Good luck!

  6. ps. indeed, all this does prepare you for life with baby….but i don’t think you need to (or deserve to) be preparing (sleep deprivation wise) at this point. unfair dr. sears, unfair!

  7. vee

    I am the bearer of hope in your hour of darkness. I too went through a sucky sleeping period, but it got better!! OK, I still have to pee 4 times a night, but the flipping and the hip pain improved. Not entirely sure what I’d put this down to, but these are some of the things I tried that seemed to improve matters:-

    * I used a bump wedge. At no point did I feel I needed one, and I certainly didn’t have back pain, which is what people usually use these for, but mysteriously it cleared up the hip pain pretty well. I didn’t buy a fancy one, just used a small pillow under my bump, quite low down.

    * I got a THICK bolster pillow (from Ikea – cheap) and used this to prop my top leg on, knee, calf and foot, keeping my bottom leg straight. I found this to be MUCH more effective that propping something between my knees, though it did still reguire wrangling when flipping, which was a PITA. Eventually, I just used it on one side, but it relieved the apin enough so that if I flipped, I could sleep for a while without support before turning back to it.

    * When I was still trying the between the knees thing, I found having another support between my legs at the crotch was helpfull too.

    * When I flip, I try to do a minute or so on my back and stretch out my hip if it’s sore, by hanging my leg open on one side, like you would for an IUI.

    * Eventually, I got so huge that flipping was more trouble than it was worth, and my subconscious seemed to realise this, and I had less urge to flip and slept more soundly for longer on one side.

    * If all else failed and I was awake and miserable and frantic, I’d switch on one of those New Age whale-music to help you sleep type cds really low. This at least kept me calm while I was awake. A relaxation CD might have the same effect.

    * A bath before bedtime and lavender spray on the pillow also helped me drop off, though that doesn’t seem to be a problem for you.

    Hope things improve for you soon, whatever you try.
    (Wow! That was a long comment!)

  8. I agree with Vee about the bath before bed. This helped me loads with the hip pain. The bigger I got the harder the bath routine was, but it was great for the early months.
    And I also second the snoogle endorsements. I loved the snoogle and I didn’t flip the snoogle I flipped inside it. Different support places and comfort, but I liked the variation with the different sides. It worked for me. If you have a bed that is smaller than queen don’t get a snoogle, there won’t be room for all of you in bed. The snoogle can also be placed nicely for massages before bed (for you and J). It made the snoogle a little more appealing to S since she sometimes got a massage too and the snoogle made it possible for me to do this without too much discomfort.
    The peeing thing just doesn’t get better. Sorry. And I don’t agree with Dr. Sears. I mean the months and weeks before you have a baby you want to rest up as much as possible. 😉
    Good luck!

  9. i remember this well.

    i also recommend the snoogle. (i still use it, btw. helps a lot with lying on your side nursing!) it’s relatively easy to flip it over with you.

    rescue sleep: good shit.

    baths baths baths = sometimes a little more sleep.

    i confess to using benadryl for sedative purposes more than once.
    i also confess to a small glass of wine with aforementioned bath.

  10. Oh I hear you on the sleep issue. I second the suggestion of the netti pot. It really helps with congestion. I did not like the pregnancy pillow we got – it was the leachco belly and back, but i do really like my long regular body pillow. I prop it between my legs and all along my body or behind my back and then I put pillows inbetween my legs. Often when I wake up I put NPR on a low level in the back … That really helps me sleep. I hope you get more sleep soon.

  11. I flip all night too and it’s AWFUL! I like my maternity body pillow, though. I just keep it on the left side to try and encourage myself to go back to that side when I can.

  12. GET THE PILLOW. NOW. You are going to have to modify how you sleep for obvious reasons soon anyway. But I always flipped with my pillow. And I had the plain old, no-frills body pillow. I just stuck it between my knees, squeezed them together as I flipped and boom! Flip! Kazaam. Of course it will totally not allow you to spoon with your honey unless she spoons you. But at least you won’t be in separate beds. I can’t help you with the pee situation. That is just going to suck for a long time.

  13. poppycat

    Ugh, that sounds bad. I think you should just cram a month before like college instead of getting prepared in advance. I agree with the netti pot, it is yucky to do but helps a lot. Can you take meletonin during pregnancy? It is a natural sleep aid and is probably ok in pregnancy. Maybe check it out at your local natural pharmacy. Hope you find some zzz’s soon.

  14. I know I’m late to this, but I also recommend the snoogle. I now sleep with the snoogle on one side and a regular pillow on the other which helps a lot with flipping if you don’t want to bring the body pillow with you. I’ve also noticed recently that I need a pillow to support my belly or else I get achy. Its not conducive to snuggling AT ALL, but sleep is important and you can always snuggle during the day!

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