I often wish I could adopt my cats’ behaviors and not seem like some sort of lunatic in the process. Hissing, for example, is a wonderful expression. Our cats do it when they see other cats they dislike. They do it when one of their siblings is pissing them off. They sometimes do it to one of us if they don’t particularly appreciate the claw clippers we have in our hands or the bath we’re trying to put them into. But hissing and other cat behaviors don’t flatter humans. J had a student once who meowed and hissed. She meowed when J would call attendance. She would hiss when she didn’t like a grade she earned. And through all of that, she shattered the hope I held for making cat-like hissing an acceptable human expression. She was just too fucking weird.
So today, I am left with a very human sigh, a furrowed brow, and a generally grumpy countenance. My 4am test was negative. At least I had J and this guy to snuggle with me and soften the blow.
The crimson tides still haven’t arrived, but I’m sure they aren’t far away. Upon their arrival, we’ll call the bank, place our order, and we’ll hopefully be sperming up before my mom comes for a quick pre-holiday visit. While Mom is hip to everything, she’s also particularly awkward about the means by which we are attempting to grow her next grandbaby.
But honestly, I’m okay. J mentioned this morning that we hadn’t had time to process all of this, and she was concerned about me, but I’m at a point now that I would rather move on with finishing the grading, pulling out holiday decorations, and sampling one of our most recent wine finds. To me, these are far more appealing than crying. Besides, I’m good at negatives. I’ve had ten of them already. I would rather expel a spitty cat hiss than cry over any more of these because the hiss is efficient: it’s much quicker than the talking and the sadness and the crying.
So this time, when/if you comment, there’s no need for the usual apologies and empathy. I know the sentiment is there; I feel it from you all, and I appreciate it so. But honestly, I would rather see some amusing stories–perhaps your favorite pet story, perhaps an amusing holiday tale, or perhaps just a dirty joke.