Monthly Archives: November 2008


I came to school with J tonight, so I’m sitting in the university library trying not to hear a group of boys plotting to cheat on an exam. No teacher needs to hear things like that. I’m half tempted to break my cover (somehow I imagine that when I’m in casual clothes I look more like a grad student than a professor) and say something, but that would be weird and tacky. I just hope they get caught. Time to put on my headphones.

We had a successful insemination last night. There were no major mishaps, no late-night trips to grocery stores for supplies. It was all very good. I even managed to stave off my coughing for about half an hour afterward. I had feared that I would cough soon after and, well, we all know what happens when we cough. I don’t believe I need to say more.

***Four hours later because J showed up early to take us out to dinner.***

I am not temping anymore, but I had a few ovulation pains today, so I likely ovulated today. I kind of like being in the dark about it. Obsessing over temp dives and spikes was never good for me. I’m just going to go forth thinking our timing was stellar.

We’ve got plenty of distractions to keep us moving forward anyway. Saturday, we’re headed to Sacramento for the big Take It to Sacramento/Overturn Prop 8 rally. Now it seems that Margaret Cho will be speaking (among others). We are making some t-shirts (anyone have any pithy slogans for us?), spiffing up our signs, and making food to take with us to cut costs. We’re staying at a hotel near the Capitol–it’s our little gay getaway. Considering we have gone nowhere without family or friends since our cruise last April, and also considering we cannot afford any sort of vacation that we would like to take, this is exciting.

We also have Thanksgiving at my parents’ place on Thursday. Neither of us is crazy about T-day, but it’s an excuse to see the family, and we’ll get to squeeze our neice and cook some tasty food, so it can’t be too bad. When we get back, we’ll have just two weeks of teaching left (plus one week of grading). Somewhere in the middle of all that, we’ll find out whether or not this round worked. I have fantasies of forgetting that we even tried and realizing sometime in the middle of December that I’ve missed my period.


Filed under Uncategorized

here we go

Well, the OPK was the tiniest shade away from being positive last night (and may have been positive in the right light). It was as positive as could be this morning. My guess is the surge started in the middle of the night. We’ll sperm up tonight. I’m oddly nonchalant about it. What’s with that?

In case you were wondering, the coughing has subsided significantly. I am relieved. My abdominal and chest and back muscles are relieved. But most of all, J is relieved that I won’t be keeping her awake all night again.

I need a nap before teaching. The next time I write, I’ll be in the midst of the TWW again. Our tenth TWW. Please let ten be lucky.


Filed under ovulation, ttc

abs of steel, the wrong way

Coughing Update: I think I strained my frenulum. My abs hurt. If I cough one more time, I’m going to cry. Last night I coughed myself out of bed and slept on the sofa (where, oddly enough, I didn’t cough again until 7am). The only things that seem to keep this beastly coughing away are brandy and Ty.lenol PM. I imagine horse tranquilizers would work too, but I don’t have those handy. I’m so tired of hearing myself complain about this, and I’m sorry to subject all of you to it again.

Fertility Update: I’m getting closer to a positive OPK. We’re still a day away I think, but my EWCM has never been so beautiful (and by beautiful, I mean plentiful and, well, shiny). My best guess is that we’ll inseminate Thursday, maybe Friday.

Activism Update: In other exciting news, I think J and I are headed to a giant rally on Saturday in Saramento. There will be speakers (including Gavin Newsom!), thousands of people, and, rumor has it, even post-rally parties! Some sites are estimating we’ll get something like 30-40 thousand people. Part of me doubts this, and part of me thinks we may very well pull it off. If you can make it to Sacramento Saturday, come join us! (Seriously, if you think you might go, shoot me an email. It would be fun to meet up!) If you can’t go, tell people who live in or near California to go if they can. It will be well worth it to stand together for equality. I think a lot of us are seeing this as a warm-up to a million gay march that has yet to be scheduled but is certainly in the works.


Filed under Marriage Equality Resources, OPK, sick


You know that cold I thought I would beat? It won. It moved into my chest early yesterday morning and has now turned into the most horrid cough I have had in years. I went to school this morning thinking I could teach only to cough myself out of the classroom. I had to let them go halfway through because not only could I not talk; I couldn’t stop coughing to let them work quietly. I coughed the whole thirty minute drive there and the whole drive home. I have pulled muscles in my back, and I am fairly certain I threw a rib out. The bonus? I can’t get into a doctor because no nearby is taking new patients for at least two weeks. So it’s the emergency room, driving thirty minutes to another doctor, or T and J’s home remedies. I’ve chosen the last option which consists of copious tea, sufficient doses of cough syrup, and a snifter of brandy every two hours. This seems to be reducing the frequency, and I do think I may sleep well tonight.

When this thing started to move into my chest, I actually started looking on the bright side. I thought, Okay, this works out–I can take Robi.tussin and get the bonus of extra EWCM. I forgot, however, that this only makes one cough more when needs it. And while my EWCM is copious, I’m now laying off the expectorant. The last thing I need is something encouraging me to cough.

The problem with being sick around insemination time is that I’m trying to drink as many fluids as I can, but for OPKs, I need to hold that precious pee. Imagine trying to hold 48 ounces of fluid for four hours while coughing uncontrollably. Let me just say my drive home today was precarious.

So far, we don’t have anything resembling a positive on the OPKs, and I’m honestly a little worried I’ll somehow miss my surge. I am very hydrated, overly so, as a result of the circumstances mentioned above. I’m trying to relax about it, but we have this very nice box holding the new and improved sperm, and I would be so, so, so, so sad if we had to miss this.

Okay, I’m off to cough some more, drink some brandy, and avoid expelling a major organ.


Filed under OPK, sick

random survey for your pleasure

So, Ladies, as my lovely T is busy grading her papers (I gave up after 6 hours), it’s up to me to write tonight’s post. Apparently we’re supposed to write everyday this month for some kind of blogger honor (Napoblogmo?) I can’t think of a single thread to tease out for your entertainment, so I’ve devised a survey sure to delight.

1. If you could go on a date with Christiane Amanpour or Rachel Maddow, who would you choose?

2. NASA:  A colossal waste of money or the coolest shizznet evah?

3. Favorite Bush nickname?

4. TV: Lost or House?

5. When you were twelve, who did you most want to be like? (choose the most appropriate)

 a) Madonna b) Hillary Clinton c) Scary Spice d) Serena Williams e) Molly Ringwald

6. First name of your first love.

7. A good vacation: Skiing in Vermont or Scuba Diving in Cancun?

8. Finish this sentence: I love America because (or England, Canada, etc. –wherever you’re from)

9. Worst Olympic sport ever?

10. I want to be remembered for. . . . .

Have fun!

Oh, here are my answers:

1. I have always had a crush on Christiane Amanpour though she is far older than I and not gay, but a girl can dream, right? I mean, Rachel’s cute, but Christiane has stared down dictators!

2. Currently I’d say a colossal waste of money. Forty years ago, definitely coolest shizznet evah.

3. Dim Son

4. No contest, Lost.

5. Molly Ringwald

6. Deidre

7. Hmmmm. let me see… careening down an icy hill on two narrow, slippery sticks or possibly getting eaten by sharks? I think I’ll take my chances with the sharks.

8. I love America because I can offend my neighbors with my “No on Prop 8” signs and they can’t say shit to me about it.

9. Without a doubt, curling

10. being a good mother, should that blessed day ever come.


Filed under Uncategorized

we’re here. we’re queer.

J and I woke up this morning feeling a little ambivalent about driving forty minutes to go to a Join the Impact rally. It would mean we would have to hop out of bed and into the shower without coffee or tea or making signs. She grabbed my computer for me and told me to think about it as I lay in bed sipping tea. We could always show up late. We didn’t have to stay, but at the same time, I was still sick. We were leaning toward staying home.

But then we hopped onto the Join the Impact website, and lo and behold, our little town was suddenly joining in as well. We decided we could easily stop to get some poster board and head to our city hall. In fact, because there were only three of us out holding signs on election day, we figured the crowd here would be tiny and that we had an obligation to add to the numbers.

So we left for downtown, grabbed sign-making supplies, and set up shop on a bench for a few moments.


Within moments, the signs were complete, and we were ready to join the growing group of people.


So far, there were only about ten of us, but ten was better than nothing. Before long, though, people were showing up with flags (rainbow, HRC, American, queer American, etc.) and signs and dogs and children. Our little group grew to a crowd of over a hundred! I honestly had expected no more than a dozen, and I was glad to be proven wrong.


The atmosphere was great. People were excited to be there. All of us were pissed off but positive. There were plenty of straight people there. One straight family was there with their little boy, and they were trying to explain to him that everyone deserves the right to be married. We had many people honking and waving as they drove by, and there were very few people out spreading any hate–a few–but not enough to affect us in the least.

J and I stood together for most of the rally holding a sign that read, “We want our marriage back!”



We made others too, including “<3 +<3 = marriage,” “End H8 Politics Now,” and “Bigotry Sucks! Ask me how I know.” We were glad to have extras because various people came and joined the rally and wanted signs. One old woman who could barely walk with the assistance of her walker came to join us. Teenaged girls came and held signs. It was pretty remarkable.


There was at least one local newsperson there–a photographer. We don’t know which paper she was from, but she took many photos of J and I, so we anticipate appearing in a local paper again tomorrow. That’s fine. We can do that.


Ultimately, while I’m exhausted and in desperate need of a nap, I’m so glad we went. We’re already planning a trip to Sacramento for next Saturday’s giant rally because it feels a hell of a lot better to go scream with others than it does to sit on the sofa pissed off.

And the best part of the day? When we got home, a sperm tank was waiting by our front door. This is going to be a better week.


Filed under marriage, Marriage Equality Resources, Prop 8


It must have been 85 degrees out today. It’s the middle of November and over 80. That is unacceptable to me. I shouldn’t be hot. J should certainly not be digging her shorts out of the high reaches of the closet, and I should not be turning on the air conditioner or taking a cool shower.

I am also pissed off to have aquired yet another cold this semester. I’ve had it with students coming to school and sneezing and coughing all over everything, including the papers they are placing in my hands. I wash my hands religiously, but with the petri dishes we’ve had going in our classrooms, there is simply no escaping the sick.

Being sick throws a wrench into all kinds of plans like staying awake while grading stack after stack of germ-infested papers, breathing through my nose while attempting to sleep, or generally being a pleasant human being (I’m not a good sick person).

I think it’s time for a hot toddy or two.

There is one thing that I am, in fact, not incredulous about at all. Our new and improved sperm is arriving tomorrow. It is on a FedEx truck headed in our direction. We’re looking at mid-week next week. Honestly, I’ve hardly thought about it…


Filed under heat, sick

a wine country holistay


In light of the recent turmoil, J and I went to the store, stocked up on tasty food, and have hunkered down for a staycation this weekend complete with feel-good romantic comedies.

It’s good timing too because I’m now coming down with another damn cold. I’ll beat this one, and it doesn’t seem all that bad. I just wish my students would keep their pathogens to themselves.


Filed under home

the world is too much with us

J and I have been so upset and so overtaken with the events of the last week that we have found ourselves in a bad, bad place. Sometimes this happens when we are inundated with media, when the events happening outside of our control infiltrate our everyday lives.

I won’t lie: J and I are media junkies. We watch, read, and listen to news and political programming much of the day, especially in times like these. There are times when we go on news blackouts, when we consume only what is necessary to get by (weather, traffic). We realized yesterday that we needed to do this again.

So much in our lives has been suffering because of our obsession with the election. Our students’ papers have collected dust and cat hair; our thoughts about our baby have been distant and fleeting; our connection to one another has been frought with tears, the occasional sniping, and mostly distance.

Thus, we have instated another blackout. We don’t know if we’ll attend any rallies this weekend or if we’ll spend the weekend connecting, grading, and taking in our surroundings. I did find today, however, that listening to soothing music on the way to work and back, instead of talk radio or NPR, had me happier and more peaceful when I arrived at my destinations. My thoughts weren’t bouncing from one injustice to another. I was just there in the moment with my students.

I also enjoyed the drive more, despite the bouncing hood. The vineyards are so many different colors right now, all shades of gold and red and purple. And both this morning and tonight, the fog was sitting on the rolling hills that hug our valley. On the way home tonight, the moon was full (or nearly so) and its light bounced off of silvery satin folds of clouds. I am sad to say that this landscape slips by unnoticed so many days as I am hanging on the words of Thom Hartman or Rachel Maddow.

And I am reminded why we go on these blackouts, why from time to time we have to reset, and how, in the words of William Wordsworth, they usher in  “glimpses that would make me less forlorn.”

I leave you with Mr. Wordsworth himself because I need to see this right now:

          THE world is too much with us; late and soon,
          Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
          Little we see in Nature that is ours;
          We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
          The Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
          The winds that will be howling at all hours,
          And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
          For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
          It moves us not.–Great God! I’d rather be
          A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;                         
          So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
          Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
          Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
          Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.


Filed under resetting

Lazy Post

I don’t have much energy to write tonight, but I’m not letting NaBloPoMo get the best of me. Thus, a bullet post is called for:

  • Shopping today was fun. We found some good gifts, and I resisted buying about 500 different pairs of shoes that I fell in love with. We even managed to come away from it all without spending too much money. The best was seeing my mom, of course. It’s nice to be close enough to spend a day with her.
  • We have the strangest car problems. Right now, J’s car’s hood latch is broken. This means that the hood is always slightly ajar, and when driving on crazy busy California freeways, it’s freaky watching the hood bounce up and down. Our neighbor’s husband will be fixing it Friday. In the meantime, we are driving slowly and enduring the middle fingers and raised fists shaking in our rearview mirror.
  • We learned through some ugly apartment complex gossip that our managers received many complaints about our No on 8 signs leading up to the election and that they wanted to confront us about it to make us take them down. They never did. Sometimes, J and I have realized, being out in our everyday lives does have a bit of power, and people like that won’t speak up for fear of being sued. That’s fine with me.
  • My mom gave me pictures of my niece in the Halloween outfit we got for her. I don’t have them on the computer, so you’ll have to take my word for it that a baby in a pumpkin hat (complete with a stem) is one the lovelier things to see in life.


Filed under Uncategorized