Thank you for all of the warm and caring responses on the last post. This is a rough time, and it’s helpful to see these words of yours, to feel the intention behind them. You all are really lovely people.
I received an email from the No on 8 campaign that states, “[W]hile the election was close, and millions of votes still remain uncounted, it has become apparent that we lost.”
We knew that was coming, but it hits even harder now that it’s here. I cannot believe our state has done this. My mom called me last night in tears, just devastated for us, hurting for us. She told me all kinds of scary stories–how one supporter of 8 on television declared, “I’m votin’ YES, ’cause I don’t want them to make me marry a man!” I apparently didn’t get the memo that same-sex marriage was the law of the land once it was legalized. We have a lot of really ignorant people in this state. I am sad to know that they have so much power.
J and I are still struggling today. We don’t know what to do with this. We have two weddings to attend in the coming year, and one of these weddings, I am to officiate. They are heterosexual weddings. I never thought I would find it difficult to attend a heterosexual wedding, but it’s hard to think about these. We’ll still go through with them of course–one is my brother’s wedding and the other is the wedding of two of our best friends–but the knowledge that these are coming up is difficult to handle. It may very well turn out that I will be marrying my friends when my marriage has been made illegal. I never imagined that would happen, and I just can’t think about that right now.
We are hearing so many conflicting comments about the status of our own marriage. For now, it’s safe, but it may not be for long. The supporters of Prop 8 fully intended to nullify any marriages that took place between June 16th and now, so it is expected that they will challenge the Attorney General soon to make sure that we don’t have our marriages. These people aren’t gong to stop until they have stripped us of this right completely. Hell, at this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if they went after domestic partnership too. It makes me sick, utterly sick to even write this out, but they find us that reprehensible, that inhuman.
I don’t know how we move on from this. We can’t afford attorneys to fight this. Essentially, we have to sit back and watch, and that is not something I’m comfortable with. Instead, I think we’ve both decided to block out the world a little and focus on ourselves and making our family. We’ll work on the health front, the job front, all of the things that need to be better and that we can actually do something about. And maybe we’ll find in a few months that the state Supreme Court has once again secured our marriage.
In the meantime, we’ll still be here.