riddle me this

Why is it that for the entire six months we weren’t trying to get me knocked up that my breasts were only mildly sore before my period, and now that we’re trying, they’re like orbs of molten lava? Why is that?

I don’t think it has anything to do with pregnancy. The  whole time we were trying to get pregnant before, the same lava boob phenomenon was in place. Can one really make one’s own breasts feel like blobs of fire with one’s brain? I think not. Surely there must be a scientific explanation. Surely.

We were dumb this morning. We decided I should take a pregnancy test. Bad idea. It was negative–starkly so. I’m 10 dpo, so it’s possibly a little early, but I’m fairly convinced that this will be the outcome on election day as well.

But we have a plan for the next cycle. We’ll likely buy two vials and attempt IUI or ICI at home. I think we can do it. I’d rather spend the money on sperm and an extra insemination than hope that the midwife will come through for us. We were a little too burned last time to take that chance again. J is asking me to consider finding a doctor to do this after we try it two more times. I admittedly had a hard time thinking about that this morning, but that’s probably where we will need to go if these next two tries don’t work. Ugh. I hate thinking about that.

I think I’ll go strap ice packs to my chest.

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10 Comments

Filed under negatives, ttc

10 responses to “riddle me this

  1. theclitremedy

    10 DPO? Um, yeah. A little early.

    Having orbs of molten lava, whether psychosomatic or not, sure beats NOT having them at 10 DPO. I am gently, quietly, covertly, hopeful for you.

    xx Clem

    PS. Happy election day! Wish I could vote.

  2. tbean

    boo on negative tests
    I don’t know why the molten lava…I’ve experienced the same phenomenon. Although, since I’ve been having all these try/not try months to compare, I have noticed that some months, my boobs get hugely sore pre-period and other months they don’t change at all. Sperm or no sperm makes no difference. So, it’s all just random.
    unfortunately.

    hugs

  3. lyn

    Ugh. Sorry about the negative. Multiple tries next cycle sounds good, and yes, I’m sure you can pull it off at home.

    As far as switching to an office IUI, I think you and I might be somewhat similar in our aversion to…well…anything that seems somehow related to doctors. I ended up making the switch from home to office (at a feminist clinic that didn’t pressure me to medicate/monitor) for insurance reasons (I could get coverage after 6 tries, and it looked like I might really need the help given my history, but home tries didn’t count). I wasn’t happy about it, but in a way it ended up taking the pressure off. There wasn’t the constant wondering about when to order the vials (a real factor given my unpredictable cycles, not sure if you have that issue). I only had to arrange shipping once. If I skipped ovulation, it was less of an issue, because we didn’t have sperm in a tank in our house to deal with.

    All of that said, if there hadn’t been an insurance issue, I wouldn’t have switched. It’s not like they can do it any better than you unless you are ready for more medical interventions (which it sounds like you aren’t).

    Hang in there. I’m still crossing fingers for you.

  4. nutella

    I think our bodies just react to the sperm no matter what. I had REALLY different symptoms the months that we tried even with a negative than I did in all the months where there was no sperm present.

    10DPO is early, and so is 11. Don’t suppose you can hold out until Thursday? Hoping for you!

  5. I’m a huge advocate of two IUI’s per month, since that’s what worked for us. If the midwife doesn’t come through, is there any chance you can find a doctor to teach you how to do them at home? Again, that’s what we did. It didn’t end up being too difficult, it just took some practice for my partner to learn to use the speculum.

    And, like the other’s, I have my fingers crossed that there’s still time for a positive test this cycle!

  6. 10 DPO is early, so put the test strips away! I tested early the month I was pregnant, got a negative, got super bummed out and then…got a positive 3 days later!
    So, don’t give up hope that your aching bbs are for nothing!

  7. 10 DPO is totally too early! Not possibly a little early, you goof balls! I love it, though. You are already thinking about the next cycle when you could be oh so preggo right now. Put those pee sticks away for at least four if not five more days. Sheesh.

    The scientific reason for my aching boobs when I was TTc is that I prodded them every three minutes to see if they hurt. Of course they did!

  8. The boobs are a really good sign. I agree with everyone else that 10 DPO is too early to know anything. Not that I think you should plan for next cycle, but I think two IUI’s is a really good plan, and I am sure you could figure out a good way to do it at home.

  9. starrhillgirl

    Early, early, early……
    Poor boobs, though.
    Step away from the pee sticks.

  10. giggleblue

    i think your plan of trying for 2 or 3 months without help is awesome!! honestly, i’m still a little upset with the midwife and her behavior this cycle.

    you can totally do this yourself at home, trust me!!!

    if god forbid you have to move on to a clinic, you will find peace in the fact that you attempted yourself before getting too medical with it.

    and 10dpo is early! i tested at 14dpo and i still had a ghost line…

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