I think I’m beginning to emerge from the funk I’ve been in for the past few days. I was really down most of the day yesterday–just feeling miserable and empty and sad and quiet. Once J came home from teaching, I felt so much better knowing that we would have a few days to spend together before the routine of the school week begins again on Monday. I don’t think it helps that I’ve been on the verge of a sinus infection and suffering the retched headaches that accompany such things.  

We have an official appointment with our midwife on October 1st. I like that. It’s the first day of the month when we get to start trying again. We can’t wait to meet this woman.

I can’t say that the “h” word is back in my vocabulary necessarily, but J’s enthusiasm is contagious. I should mention that she is the cynical one in our relationship, not that I am a fountain of optimism, but J is typically the one to think things will go wrong, and I’m usually the one reassuring her that things will improve. I’m not used to this new J, this person who has hope and who is trying like mad to get me to feel it too. I rather like her.

We have a full weekend ahead of us. We’re going to meet up with my parents tonight to see Lewis Black. Then tomorrow we have a literary festival to attend. Mostly, though, we get to spend time together, which is such a precious thing these days.

Thank you all for letting me stand on your shoulders, for having hope for me when it’s such a foreign feeling to me. You’re a beautiful bunch of souls, ladies.


Filed under dear readers, depression, J, Ramblings

6 responses to “de-funked

  1. tbean

    have a fabulous weekend babe
    Oct. 1 seems like an auspicious day

  2. Lewis Black is hilarious, I hope you have a good time. Maybe the appt with the midwife will be the thing to pull you the rest of the way out of funksville. Here’s hoping!

  3. I’m glad the cloud has lifted a bit. Have a great weekend!

  4. jay

    I’ve been meaning to comment for a few days but somehow it has escaped me. I just wanted to say I’m so glad you’re feeling de-funked and I hope this action packed weekend helps take your mind off things a bit. Acion packed-ness is always good.

    And, I want to add that I hear you r.e. the hopelessness. Hope often felt like such a luxury to us over the many months we tried, and it is such a raw word for me even now that stirs up so many crappy emotions.

    Hugs to you. I hope October is your month. xxxx

  5. K

    I like the “first of the month = new midwife = fresh start” bit. It’s all very good omen-y.

    Sounds like a great weekend. I’m jealous!

  6. I hope that you had a fabulous weekend loaded with togetherness and funk-free.

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