I don’t think I should title a blog post “emerging” and then disappear for another two days. It’s dishonest. I should know better than to make promises to post when I’m teaching. It just doesn’t happen with any frequency, or at least not the same frequency as summer time. Ah, summer, I miss you already.
I do have something to post about, though, something I promised to discuss last time, and believe it or not, it’s related to TTC! Yes, we’re inching slowly up on October when the break will likely be over.
Because we’re rather sick of waiting to get pregnant with not-so-efficient means, we’ve decided to take a new approach. Before I outline the new approach, I need to include some background: You should know, if you don’t already, that I’m not a big fan of western medicine. I would far rather take an herb, do stretches, or up my intake of certain foods to heal my ailments. I once broke my leg and didn’t seek treatment. Granted, it was obviously only a hairline fracture, and I could walk, and I did consult my paramedic brother, but I didn’t see a need to go have x-rays when I knew my body was taking care of it. Instead, I stayed off of it as much as I could, increased my calcium, and it healed just fine. I trust my body, and while I know its limits, I know it is generally healthy and can take care of itself with some help.
When J and I started down the path to create a family, we were both opposed to fertility drugs and even to working with doctors on all of this. We don’t have a problem with others using these methods; they just haven’t been for us. For the first year of all of this, we went about everything as naturally as possible and had some really bad luck. Shipping fresh sperm is not an easy way to make a baby. My body made a habit of ovulating on weekends or Mondays when no shipment would be timed correctly. When our shipments were timed perfectly, the sperm arrived in unsatisfactory conditions (and was likely not at all viable). I don’t think we had one month when one of these two factors didn’t come into play.
But now we’re off the fresh sperm and definitely moving on to frozen. This opens up options and brought with it some questions about what we wanted to do next. Would we bypass anything natural and hand our plans over to an RE? Would we try inseminations at home with frozen sperm even though we know IUIs are probably a better bet? Would we be comfortable with IUIs ourselves?** We have both come to this point that we want this to happen as quickly as possible while preserving our plans to try and keep things natural, but I’ve begun to wonder if we have new limits. But I’m not going to that place just yet.
After struggling with all of this, I decided to take a different approach than we had considered previously. There are travelling midwives who help with IUI in our part of California, but they charge extra to come to our county, even more if we have to reschedule due to delayed ovulation, and they require that their clients have a referral from a fertility specialist. This wasn’t ideal to us. Instead, I started looking up local midwives to see if any of them would perform IUIs. I have heard back from one of them. She told me that she has only performed a couple of IUIs in her long career, but she would love to take part in this with us and help us start our family. She insists that we do this at our home where we will feel more cozy. She is lovely and positive and so enthusiastic, and for some reason, when we heard back from her and considered how special this would be, we knew this was our new path toward our family. She’s researching what she will charge, and I hope that it will be within reason and something we can afford. This may be the only thing to hold us back. Oh, I hope this doesn’t hold us back. I’m so tired of the fulfillment of dreams hinging on money.
It has been a long time since I’ve had enthusiasm or even a modicum of hope about this path. I still don’t know if I believe it will ever happen for us, but I’ve got a little hope again, and that’s a good place to start. Under two months to go now…
**I should add that we’re not entirely opposed to doing IUI ourselves, but we don’t want to do it without someone showing us how. After attempt #1, we’ll see.