wasted again

Today, I have had the worst ovulation pains–or mittelschmertz, rather. It’s like my body is taunting me. I hate wasting my eggs. I hate it. I’ve done this before; in fact, last summer I was in this same position, and it pissed me off then too.

It’s hot here. J and I went for a swim this afternoon and ran into our neighbors, whom I have mentioned here before. The woman informed us that she and her husband had discussed helping us out. J didn’t quite understand what she had said. She thought the husband was thinking about being a sperm donor in general, but it was fairly clear that they wanted to help us. Their hangup is that he was adopted, so they know nothing about his family medical history, and she said they couldn’t do it as a result. In retrospect, it was a little weird. Nevertheless, I thought it was sweet that they thought of us.

We’re leaning much more heavily now toward spermsicles. We want the leisure of having sperm on hand for up to a week should my body decide to be unpredictable. If something else happens (like the abovementioned story), we might reconsider, but at the moment, this feels good. The one thing holding us up is our lack of a spermsicle fund, which we probably won’t have until October.

More waiting for now. Today, there is nothing I can do about wasting yet another egg.

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8 Comments

Filed under ovulation, sperm, The Long Break, ttc

8 responses to “wasted again

  1. i think it’s weird how people flip and flop and change their mind, depending upon how they feel that day, week, month, year.

    this is no passing matter, but it seems like everyone who you ask to be a sperm donor treats it as such!!!!

    this is life people, this is life! i agree, frozen pops will be more reliable and care free. there aren’t any attached emotions from the dewar. you use it and send it back. no “ahhh, i thought about it and…” just commitment. sometimes, you can pay for peace of mind. meanwhile, i’m hoping that somehow you find a money tree between now and october…

    you should have told them they can help – $500 would be perfect!

  2. Think of it this way… imagine if you used every one of your eggs! Then you wouldn’t mind a little waste. There’s one or two really great ones sitting in you right now that will one day be running around your livingroom, not listening when you ask them to put their shoes on. And that is just the right number of eggs.

  3. PS sperm on the other hand…..

  4. tbean

    Thinking of you…the break…meeting and holding your neice…hard times indeed.

    Hugs.

    xoxo

  5. I’m sorry for the O pains, and that this month you feel that they’re wasted. It’s hard and frustrating….. I’m thinking of you and hoping you can start up again very soon.

    Ps. Your niece is precious; I’m so glad that things went well and you are so in love – I knew you would be!

  6. That’s so strange your neighbor told you all that – it’s nice too though. I hope you don’t have to waste too many more eggs.

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