holding on

Today’s the big test day, so I’ll be holding my pee for several more hours. (I know you were all dying to know that.) I have no spotting or bleeding thus far, but still have the swollen, sore ta-tas and crampiness.

I realized today that I’ve been absolutely negative about whether this can happen for me. I’m always expecting the worst, so I’m fairly convinced that any test I take today will be negative. It makes me wonder what will happen when and if I do get pregnant. My guess is I’ll be in denial until the little one shows up. I think I’m likely just protecting myself, preparing for the worst so that I’m not utterly devastated. Like that really works.

J will be going out to pick up a test or two soon, and we’ll test mid-day (Pacific time), so I’ll have something to share here before long. My mantra for now is simply, “No blood. Please no blood. No blood.” We’ll see if it works.



Filed under ttc, TWW

5 responses to “holding on

  1. saying it all along with you. no blood. please no blood. no blood.

  2. if i had been a cheerleader I would make up a no blood cheer for you…. fingers crossed, holding my breath…

  3. No blood. No blood. No blood.

    Ok, by my calculations, it’s mid-day over there. I’ll be refreshing.

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