holding on

Today’s the big test day, so I’ll be holding my pee for several more hours. (I know you were all dying to know that.) I have no spotting or bleeding thus far, but still have the swollen, sore ta-tas and crampiness.

I realized today that I’ve been absolutely negative about whether this can happen for me. I’m always expecting the worst, so I’m fairly convinced that any test I take today will be negative. It makes me wonder what will happen when and if I do get pregnant. My guess is I’ll be in denial until the little one shows up. I think I’m likely just protecting myself, preparing for the worst so that I’m not utterly devastated. Like that really works.

J will be going out to pick up a test or two soon, and we’ll test mid-day (Pacific time), so I’ll have something to share here before long. My mantra for now is simply, “No blood. Please no blood. No blood.” We’ll see if it works.

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5 Comments

Filed under ttc, TWW

5 responses to “holding on

  1. saying it all along with you. no blood. please no blood. no blood.

  2. if i had been a cheerleader I would make up a no blood cheer for you…. fingers crossed, holding my breath…

  3. No blood. No blood. No blood.

    Ok, by my calculations, it’s mid-day over there. I’ll be refreshing.

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