The Tornado in My Skull

This week has been insane. I can’t go to sleep at night unless I’m ready to pass out. Last night I broke down and took some over-the-counter sleep aids, and I did much better. I only had fifteen minutes or so of crazy thoughts of J and I being homeless swirling through my head. I call these crazy thoughts “the worries.” The worries mess with my stomach and jump around inside it. They create this tornado of confusion and panic and overthinking in my head that leads to sleeplessness. I hate the worries. I don’t know how to combat them right now. Even drinking doesn’t help because then I worry that I’m ruining my eggs. Oh how I wish I could banish the worries.

We’re still trying to find a place to live, and it’s a nightmare. We thought that once J had work we would be fine, but it turns out that just isn’t so for these two Pollyannas. We have had some pretty major financial difficulties over the years, and as a result, our credit took a downturn. We’ve been working on it over the past six months or so, but a lot of property owners only care about the overall score, and our scores still suck. We’re actively talking with folks who are renting properties on their own, telling them our story, and generally trying to show them that we are, in fact, responsible people who simply hit some hard times. The worries are creeping in even as I write this.  We do have some potential leads, but the main concern now is that J is expected to start work in a week and a half, and we don’t want her to end up sleeping in the back of the truck. Who knew that this great decision for us to move would end up with fears of us being homeless?

In much better news–and something I’m oddly not worried about–we are inseminating this week. In fact, probably tomorrow. My stress seems to have brought on an early ovulation because my OPKs are almost positive today, which is CD12. We have a message in to Mr. G to send us the goods, and tomorrow if all goes well we’ll be sperming up!

Then things will get really interesting. Not only will I have a TWW to obsess about but a house to find, the rest of a house to pack, movers to call, papers to sign. Oh here we go again…Yes, this is what is happening in my head almost all the time right now. Have I mentioned I’m typically a calm, grounded person? That people say my presence is soothing? Ha!

So, does anyone know how safe Ty.lenolPMs are for TTC?



Filed under anxiety, insemination, moving, OPK, ovulation, ttc

3 responses to “The Tornado in My Skull

  1. jay

    Oh jeesh. Good luck. If we lived nearer, I’d offer to help pack boxes… well if there’s anything we can do…!? err no. No flying over, sorry! xx

  2. vee

    Dear lord, what a stress. I’m confident you’ll turn something up, but I wish it could have been a hell of a lot smoother for you both. At least it’ll take your mind off the TWW!

  3. happy insem day!!
    I am 90% certain that T pm is ok.

    thinking of you & hoping things de-stress soon.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s