All this talk about eggs has me thinking about chickens. Can you imagine if you had to pop out an egg that was bigger than your head every month? It makes me really glad to be human and to have teeny tiny eggs.
Speaking of eggs, I fear mine may have popped out despite the spells and tinctures and general “stop that egg!” energy being focused on the thing. I had a bit of a temperature climb this morning. It was small; in fact, it was still very much within my usual pre-ovulation range, but it freaked me out. It is also quite probable that I made the temperature higher by tossing and turning and waking up every half hour between about 2:30 and 6:00 this morning or that the big glass of wine I had last night–the only wine I’ve had all week–impacted my temps a little. In fact, the more I think about it, the more likely that is. Hmm. That sort of ruins my plans to be pissed off and hopeless today.
The thing is as soon as I saw that temperature, I felt like I was reliving the first insemination all over again, and I’ve been walking around dejected all morning. J, on the other hand, is hopeful–and she’s the true cynic in the relationship. Who knows?
What I do know is that Mr. Goodman felt so bad about missing my message that he produced two samples to ship in the same package. When I told J, she said, “He felt so bad that he jerked off a second time? Way to take one for the team!” We’re going to have more sperm than we know what to do with (although I doubt his second donation will have many swimmers). I dreamt last night that when we opened the package, there were two big syringes and a couple of ziplock baggies full of semen and that J decided she might as well inseminate too. Weird. And a little disgusting too.
I guess I’m conflicted. I know that within a couple of days I’ll have all kinds of phantom symptoms regardless of the timing, so I suppose I need to just distract myself. That bottle of Glenlivet is looking like a pretty good distraction about now.
Thanks to the IVP shakedown courtesy of the lovely Vee, my surge has arrived (as is evidenced by the positve OPK above). It started last night as far as I can tell, and the line was even stronger this morning. I hope that means it will stay a little while because now the real madness begins.
You see, even though I put in a message asking Mr. Goodman to ship the sperm yesterday (and he knew I would likely need him to send a shipment yesterday), he failed to check his messages, and now we get our shipment FRIDAY. (More to come in a later post about our displeasure with Mr. Goodman of late.)
This poses all kinds of problems. The first and worst of these is that I could ovulate today. If that happens, we have the whole issue of deteriorating old egg tomorrow, and that won’t do.
The second is that while today I have a light day with school, and my classes are finished by the time a shipment would arrive, tomorrow I teach in the morning, J teaches in the afternoon, and I have office hours in the afternoon too with students planning to come see me. It’s going to be a screwy sort of day, and I may very well have to inseminate by myself! Not cool.
So to all those IVP ladies out there who helped with the egg shakedown, would you help me hold it in for just a few hours more? I’ve never had more conversations with my ovaries than I have in the past couple of days. Today’s goes something like, “Please, please, please, don’t drop the egg today! Please, I’m begging you! Please!” Yeah, because begging always works. Perhaps I should switch to bribery. Any suggestions on how to bribe an ovary?
If I wake up with a temperature spike in the morning, I fear I may need to drink a lot of scotch. Of course, I’ll inseminate anyway because, well, what else am I going to do with a syringe full of sperm? But I may be drunk while basting. Bleh.
If all goes well, we’ll be getting our sperm tomorrow. I’m nervous, though, that my guesses may be off. Everything was telling me yesterday to have Mr. Goodman send the goods today, so I gave him the go ahead. Now, it looks like I could ovulate Friday in which case a Thursday insemination would not be a bad thing necessarily, but my OPKs are still very faint as of this morning. That doesn’t mean they won’t be darker by tonight, but I’m beginning to doubt myself. In fact, my head hurts with all of these attempts to predict what my body will do. I wish my ovaries would speak to me. I wish I knew for sure when this was going to happen. This is such a mindfuck!