Bartender, pour me another.

Well, our insemination is complete. Honestly, it’s one I’d rather not remember. Yesterday was a rough day all around.

All day yesterday, we waited for our damn shipment. I mentioned that I had a slight temperature rise yesterday, and I was okay with that as long as we inseminated at a reasonable time for my egg to still be viable. Well, the sperm didn’t arrive until 5pm. And it was no longer chilled. And there was a lot of it. Maybe not the baggies full that I had dreamt about, but a lot for a lesbian who doesn’t see a lot of sperm these days.

Becuase we had been waiting all day for it, I soon realized that it wasn’t going to come until the end of the day, so we went out for half an hour, and I finally did have a scotch knowing that in order to be in any sort of baby-making mood, I was going to need to destress. When we got back, the sperm was here, and we both proceeded to bitch about Mr. Goodman’s lack of attention to detail these days, knowing full well that we needed to get to the bedroom and get down to business. That was difficult.

We finally did manage to put all that aside and sperm me up, and we did use both vials. I figured there had to be some swimmers hanging out in the middle that were still viable. There had to be. They hadn’t had any contact with air, which is the thing that really kills them, so why not use it all at once, right? It was simply too much though. I won’t go into the gory details, but I felt like a hooker. Ick. Ew. Blech.

Because I couldn’t stand the flood, and because I wanted to urge any viable sperm up instead of down, I did the whole Instead Cup thing, showered (wow, I needed a shower), and we went out to dinner where we enjoyed a bottle of wine–yes, a whole bottle (I’m not going to abstain until it’s around the time for implantation)–and good food and conversation and us time.  

When we got home, we bickered, argued, and finally went to bed. It was a shitty day, but I do hope that something really really good comes of it. Today my temperature spiked higher, and I’m still somewhat fine with the timing of it all, but this is not an insemination I will look back on fondly. This is why it will probably be the one that works.


Filed under drinking, insemination, sperm

7 responses to “Bartender, pour me another.

  1. owl

    that sounds just a little icky! wishing you lots of luck for this cycle.

  2. vee

    Nothing like a bad insemination to really piss a girl off. If it helps any, our worst was in the pouring rain in a pub car park in the backseat of the car after 40 agonising minutes of making smalltalk while the goods cooled on the table infront of us.

    But some small hope is more bearable than no hope, I guess. Good luck with it, and if you ever want to talk donor troubles, drop us a line!

  3. reproducinggenius

    Thanks, Vee. I may have to take you up on that offer. And that does sound like a pretty rotten insemination. Yikes!

    Thanks to the both of you for the good luck wishes!

  4. Vee, you win the award for worst inseminations. Although I always thought the whole back of the car thing might be helpful – isn’t that where teenagers get pregnant by accident?
    Ugh – donor issues. I feel you, babe, I really do.
    Hope at least the scotch was good.

  5. Awh, I’m sorry about mr. goodman..the ickyness and the arguing…. just hoping that this one works for you guys. I have my fingers crossed. If you get a positive, all the bad-day-memories will fly out the window.

  6. you know, it’s often when we have low expectations that our wildest dreams come true. maybe the less-than-perfect insem is a sign of great things to come. good luck!

  7. reproducinggenius

    Thanks again for the sympathy, hopeful comments, and well wishes. It’s been a rough weekend realizing that there is likely no chance that this one worked, but there is a speck of hope that maybe, just maybe, I’m wrong and that I’ll look back on this and laugh one day.

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