Monthly Archives: September 2007

Belated Photo Friday: The Finger and The Bird (x2)

My sister was visiting all weekend, so I was a little anti-computer, but I didn’t forget Photo Friday. In fact, a gift from my sister was the inspiration for my finger photos. She has this thing about giving me cocks. Actually, I have been giving them to her for awhile too. Okay, it’s a downright cock war–err fight–but I think she’s winning. Anyhow, below is the cock finger puppet featured on the finger:

The Bird

I showed my cat Cleo the cock as well. She was quite unimpressed:

Cleo and The Bird

Sorry about the icky quality of these photos. I accidentally left my ISO settings on 800 making for really grainy shots. They’ll do in a pinch though.

We’re gearing up for this week’s insemination. Actually, I’m just trying to get prepped for the school week after having guests again, and I’ll likely be focusing on the insemination at the last minute. In the meantime, I’m drinking my green tea and taking my Vitex in hopes of some super fertile days to come.

We were going to go to our Pride festival today, but today also brought our first real rain of the season, so we opted to sit at home with my sister and watch movies. This turned out to be much more fulfilling and relaxing–and I didn’t have to see my students out in public, which is always an awkward ordeal, even at non-queer events. They just don’t see me as a human that eats, sleeps, or even leaves the university. If only they knew.

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It’s finally hitting me…

We’re inseminating in less than a week. We’re in frequent contact with Mr. Goodman now. We’re really going to do this.

The first two tries were both a little off, and I always knew that those two wouldn’t take. They were the trial runs. I just knew that it wasn’t time. However, I also have known that fall was the real deal, that it would happen in the fall, and that thrills me and scares the shit out of me all at the same time. What if J and I actually get what we want for a change? Whatever will we do? It’s a good thing that there’s still plenty of time for oodles of things to go wrong.



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Out of Town Visitors

I have been decidedly neglectful of the blog lately, mostly because we’ve been incredibly busy. Our dear friend M. was here for the weekend so that she could play in our ladies’ poker group.

Ladies’ Poker was the highlight of the month, I have to say. Our group is great. We have nine of us altogether, although usually only six of us show at any one event. This time, all nine ladies showed! This is a monthly event where we gather at one of the ladies’ houses. We have a food theme (this last one was sandwich bar, but we’ve had everything from a “stuffed” theme to Caribbean food), and we all bring our contributions. After eating what is usually amazing food and having a few drinks, we the spread the felt over the table, throw our money in the pot, divvy up the chips and play some Hold ‘Em.

This is a group that J and I started a little over two years ago. We had always wanted a girls’ poker group, and I used to play in one long before J and I were together, but it took us awhile to find the right group, and now we have it. It’s usually a raucous event, and it can be downright bitchy, but we have a great time together, and when we play well, some of us even come home with some cash. Of course, that’s not really the point, but it doesn’t hurt! I hope we’ll be able to create a new group after we move because it’s important to get together with women from time to time. I highly recommend starting a ladies’ poker group if you don’t have one already.

Our visit with our friend M. was really great. We relaxed and talked a lot, and she got us a baby good luck charm: a big, snuggly teddy bear. She also got us this wonderfully cuddly blanket. She says that she knows this baby will be here soon. Oh, I hope so.

Our other visitor this weekend was my cranky Aunt F. I’m never thrilled to see the hag, but this time she brings with her a bit of hope. You see, because Auntie F. arrived, we are now on the path to planning next week’s insemination! Yes, we are almost back in the game. Honestly, though, it hasn’t hit me yet, and it probably won’t until that cold little package arrives on our doorstep.

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Photo Friday: Button Up

It’s been far too long since I’ve participated in Photo Friday, so this week, I am debuting some of my brand new camera’s first shots. I’ve had the same digital camera for about seven years (it was my first, a really sweet gift from J), and for my birthday, I got a new one from my sweet, sweet mom who has had me snapping photos since I was about five years old.

This week’s theme, “Button Up” was a fun one. I love buttons, and J and I absolutely love button jars. My mom and grandma–all of the women in my family–have always had jars of buttons, and as a kid, I loved to sit and stare at the ones my grandma had on her shelf. When J’s mom passed away a few years ago, J wanted me to have all of her old sewing gear, and with it came her mom’s button jar. I believe these are some of the most interesting personal artifacts that women leave behind. J and I have started our own button jar too. In the photo below, her mom’s is on the right; ours is on the left:

Button Jars

This next photo shows some serious button action:

Button Down


There you have it.  Happy Equinox, everyone!


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Of Pincher Bugs, Panties, and Cardboard Towels

We had an eventful weekend. Friday, as we were getting ready for our god-awful Friday meeting, our drier broke. It simply stopped spinning. J had a shirt in it to fluff, and the thing had been sitting there, cooking for twenty minutes, and decidedly not fluffing.

Because we don’t get paid until the end of the month, and because we’re completely broke from lack of work over the summer, we can’t get it fixed (or get a new one, which I fear we will have to do). So on Saturday, I washed four loads of laundry, and I headed out to our town’s only laundromat with a stack of papers to grade. If nothing else, it was going to be a productive day.

When I arrived, I found that three blocks in the center of town were experiencing a power outage, and–you guessed it–the laundromat was on one of those blocks. So I headed over to K*mart, hoping to buy a pop-up, freestanding clothesline.

No such luck.

So I purchased a Martha Stewart Clothesline (an over-priced rope) and Martha Stewart clothespins (yes, they’re various shades of sage green), and I went home optimistic that I could make this work. We hung our clothes on the line when I was a kid every summer. I loved how they used to smell of pine and fresh mountain air. Really.

When I got home, I quickly strung up two forty-foot lines of clothesline using our fence as my anchors. I made it as tight as I could, trying to account for some sagging that would be sure to occur. I didn’t know just how much saggage there would be.

As soon as I hung the first towel on the line, the thing dipped four feet, bringing my freshly washed towel within a foot of the ground. With each article of clothing, the whole lot of them sunk closer and closer to the grass below. By the time we were finished, everything was within a couple of inches of the ground. But that was okay. At least there was some sun.

Have I mentioned that we live on the coast? That we can hear the ocean from our house? That we have intermittent fog throughout the day–every day? You see, when I was growing up, I lived in a place that was dry and warm, so our clothes dried–at the most–within twelve or so hours of hanging them up, but it was usually more like five hours. Here, our clothes–on two sunny days–took over 36 hours to dry. Some things, like socks, were not dry until today: Monday.

But that’s not the best of it. The best of it is that when we went to pull our clothes and towels off of the line, we were met with new surprises that we hadn’t considered. The first were the towels, which now resembled something closer to cardboard covered in sandpaper. So long lufa! Hello air-dried towel! Only two were even remotely usable. The rest have to be rewashed and dried if we don’t want to lose three or four layers of skin.

The other pleasant surprise occurred when we took our underwear off the line only to find pincher bugs on nearly half of them! We shook them out carefully, and I think/hope/pray that we got all of them. Just thinking about it makes me shiver.

I learned three valuable lessons this weekend:

  1. We are not living out a quaint little episode of Little House on the Prairie, nor do we want to.
  2. We like modern conveniences and the soft, touchable fabrics they bring to us.
  3. And most importantly: Beware pincher bugs. They’re pervs.



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The Return of Mr. Goodman

Dear readers, you may all finally breathe a collective sigh of relief. I will now officially stop whining and complaining about being off of the TTC ride.

Mr. Goodman has contacted us. He’s back, and it looks like we’ll begin receiving our monthly shipments of DNA at the beginning of October.

One of my more annoying neuroses is my tendency to obsess about things that aren’t real. For example, I came up with many stories about Mr. Goodman while we were on email blackout: he was mugged and killed whilst overseas; he met someone, got married, and decided he wanted his own kids and wouldn’t be our donor anymore; he found our blog, decided we were too freaky to bear his spawn, and opted out of our agreement without telling us. I just knew that come October, we were going to be asking local bartenders if they’d be our donors or searching for discount frozen sperm, and that we were going to begin a downward psychological/emotional/financial spiral in our efforts to have a baby. Of course, that didn’t happen–not yet anyway–and I’m breathing much easier.

This means some good changes are in store again. I’ve got to kick the caffeine again (my lifeblood during the fall semester–I don’t know how I’ll do it), lay off the booze, keep eating all my fruits and veggies, religiously take my vitamins and other supplements my OB/GYN wants me taking, kick myself in gear with my walking routine, avoid getting over-tired and over-stressed, and best of all, start obsessing about the good stuff! This also means J has to give up smoking again. That’s our deal, and I think she’s ready for it too. It’s amazing what we’ll do when we have a baby as our motivator.

So, I’m now starting a three-week wait, and if the last four weeks since school started are any indication, we’ll be welcoming a FedEx package in no time. I am thrilled.


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Teaching in the fall saps every ounce of creativity and motivation from my bones, hence the lack of posting here. I have too many classes, too many students, and too many hours in the day when I have to be at school. Frankly, I need the distraction of TTC again. I need to be consumed by something besides work.

It’s a sad thing when I ovulate and barely notice it. That’s what happened this cycle, and I’m even charting. I miss the excitement of those first few months of discovering this process actually happens in my body, and knowing that soon it would even be important that this thing happens. If all goes well, I’ll be eager for the next one to pop out–if Mr. Goodman ever returns from his overseas trip! Perhaps we should have put something in the contract about him not being able to leave California without both of our signatures. That wouldn’t be weird or possessive or going too far, would it?

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&#@%* Cats!

My wretched little felines are about to find themselves a home outside. It all started about four months ago. We were in the middle of one of our rounds of TTC, and I needed to sleep well through the night so that I could get an accurate temperature read in the morning. Suddenly, our nine-year-old boy cat decided he would wake up and scratch under our door whilst meowing loudly at 4am–every morning. We thought we’d stop him with water, so we placed a spray bottle by the door, and would just get up, open the door, squirt him, and go back to sleep. That worked for about two days.

He quickly learned our trick, so as soon as he heard one of us get up, he would run to the end of the hallway to escape the stream of water. For us, that meant going to the end of the hall, picking him up, and placing him in the garage. When he learned this trick, then he started hiding under the sofa after getting us up, and so this continued until our boy cat became a garage sleeper.

Well, we thought we had broken him of it, so we let him out of the garage. But then school started, and all three cats figured out that I now get up at 6am.  They like this. They think it would be super cool if I woke up even earlier. Guess what? They’re wrong.

Last night, boy cat meowed at 4am. I put him in the garage. Then at around 5am, our youngest started her own screaming outside the bedroom door (she has the most grating meow in the world–imagine Fran Drescher in The Nanny as a cat).  I opened the door, startled her, and she left me alone. At 6am, my alarm went off, and instead of letting me take my temperature, the youngest cat started screaming again, waking J up (who needed to sleep about two hours longer), and making it impossible for me to temp. I’m so cranky. I love my cats, but they’re on my shit list right now.


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Happy Birthday To Me

Have I ever mentioned I’m perpetually late? I’ve gotten better about it over the years, and now I  often even leave insanely early for things, but it seems that sometimes I’m still late, and this time, I’m late to wish myself a happy birthday on my own blog.

Yes, on Saturday I turned 32, which is funny because for the past six months I thought I was 32. Turns out I was 31 all along, and I didn’t really remember this until the day before my birthday, so J encouraged me to tell everyone I know that I was 31. I did this a little, but in my mind, I was already 32. Honestly, I don’t see much of a difference, except that I hope 32 is the year I get to have a baby, but that’s a given, right?

 We did have a fabulous day on my b-day. We got up, and J had the makings for mimosasimg_1522.jpg as well as croissants, flowers, some very cool new champagne flutes, and other goodies in a lovely basket on our coffee table. After an hour or so of indulgences, J  and I took off to farmer’s market where I got some big red dahlias. One is pictured here, although it’s dying already! 😦

 Later, we went to our favorite coffee shop where J beat me at Scrabble; we had a backyard picnic and enjoyed the sun; we had a nap and enjoyed some good us time; and then we went out for sushi, drinks, and jazz, wrapping the evening up with some good friends. It was a perfect day, and by the time we got home, I was utterly exhausted, and we slept until 9 the next day!

This weekend we also started a bit of a cleanse, and it’s felt good to be back on track. Yesterday,  cashed in on a birthday coupon from our neighbor who was a practicing massage therapist for years. She gave me a wonderful 90-minute massage, and I walked around like a big pile of goo for the rest of the day.

Finally, I finished a blanket that I’ve been crocheting since shortly after J and  got together. This is a major milestone people. It’s something I never thought I’d finish, and I finally did. It will fit a child’s size bed perfectly, is big enough that an adult can snuggle up under, but it will also be great for wrapping up a baby when it’s cold out. Behold, a project nearly nine years in the making:

img_1517.jpgI honestly can’t believe it’s finished, but I have been working on it for years–although not nine years straight mind you. I’ve got horrid carpal tunnel syndrome and other issues with my hands that have kept me from this thing, but after nearly about a hundred dollars worth of really great cotton yarn, hours of being irritated by how stupid I was to begin the thing, and a night of utter amazement that I was finally going to finish it, it’s done.

So there you have it, my Labor Day Weekend. How was yours?



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