J and I have both been waking up with dreams about babies, inseminating, and the like all week long. One night I dreamt that we had a huge vial of sperm shipped to us while I was on my period. This morning, as we sat around drinking our coffee, we both acknowledged that the baby pangs were becoming increasingly unbearable.

Before we started the TTC process, we’d have these all the time, and they were poignant as hell. In fact, they are what launched us onto this track in the first place. But now that we’re on a break, now that we’ve had a taste of the hope and the forward momentum, the big, gaping, baby-shaped hole in our hearts is increasingly more unbearable.

There is a good chance that we won’t be able to inseminate this month as we had planned, that Mr. Goodman won’t be back by the time my egg is ready, and that realization makes all of this even harder.

Have I mentioned we really, really, really want a baby?


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3 responses to “Babyaches

  1. Ugh, it’s the worst isn’t it?? I’m glad I’m not the only one!!! I have been having those dreams for SEVERAL weeks now. I think we spent most of the day today trying to decide on our stroller……(we’re very into bumbleride, mutsy, quinny and mountain buggy!)…..trying to focus on other things…but it’s hard when you want something so badly! And, on top of that, the FIRST month I have been charting, it looks like I didn’t even ovulate. WOW, how depressing is that eh? So I know what you’re going through! Did Mr. Goodman delay the trip? Or will you just ovulate before he gets back? Hoping you have non-ttc dreams so you get some relief from it! I may have asked you this, but are you guys doing a ICI at home with the frozen sperm? Or are you going to doctor for it??

  2. Dreams suck. SUCK. I especially hate the pee stick dreams during a TWW. Down with dreams!

    up with babies.

  3. reproducinggenius

    Tiffany–It appears that I will ovulate before Mr. Goodman returns, so that’s why we won’t get to insem in September. Also, we are doing IVI at home with fresh sperm. He just ships it via BioTranz, so it’s cold, but not frozen. Then we warm the little swimmers up before we send them along their way.

    As for your first month of charting, I will say that the body does all kinds of weird things once we start paying attention to it. I’ve noticed that the months we inseminated my charts were so screwy that I ended up ovulating at Day 12 (I’m usually between 14-16) and I got my period almost a week early! Weird! It will get a little better, though, and you will likely begin to notice a pattern for your own cycle after a couple more months.

    Oh, and we buy baby stuff too. So far it’s just a few cute little clothing items, but it keeps our spirits up.

    oneofhismoms–I agree. I hate the dreams, and I dread having the dreams again during the tww. This week, I’ve been having infertility dreams. In one of them, somehow I was going to have to have my ovaries removed because they were dead. WTF?!

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