Four Things

I’ve got a lot of bloggy business to attend to today, so here goes!

First, I have a couple of Photo Friday shots to share. This week, the theme was Four. First, I present to you four cat toes:

The other contribution showcases some apples that I got at our little farmer’s market this morning. I was frankly quite surprised to find apples so late in the season, but they are local and fresh and juicy and tasty. And there are four of them here:

Second, for those of you who either did or didn’t obsess for me the other day, I had another high temp, and today a lower one. I’m a bit crampy with sore boobs–quit typical of the week leading up to the blood. I did have a dream about taking a series of pregnancy tests that were all positive, but the test results would fade after about three seconds, so I couldn’t prove that I was truly pregnant. I woke up annoyed. Honestly, I don’t think I could be any less pregnant, but I’ll keep you updated.

Third, I’ve been tagged by j. k-c. for a fun little meme involving books, which I find utterly appropriate considering my intimate involvement with the things this week. The rules are as follows:

1. Grab the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Find the first 5 sentences and write them down.
4. Then invite 5 friends to do the same.

At my desk, I have primarily reference books related to writing. I avoided The Dictionary of Modern American Usage as well as the Thesaurus. Ugh. So, I turned around to find a copy of Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss sitting on a shelf directly to my right. It looks like my readers are going to get a little punctuation lesson because here are the first five sentences of page 123:

So it is true that we must keep an eye on the dash–and also the ellipsis (…), which is turning up increasingly in emails as shorthand for “more to come, actually . . . it might be related to what I’ve just written . . . but the main thing is I haven’t finished . . . let’s just wait and see . . . I could go on like this for hours . . . ” However, so long as there remain sentences on this earth that begin with capital letters and end with full stops, there will be a place for the semicolon. True, its use is never obligatory, because a full top ought always to be an alternative. But that only makes it the more wonderful.

Popotakis had tried a cinema, a dance hall, bacarat, and miniature golf; now he had four ping-pong tables.

Don’t you feel more informed? I tag Chronicles of Conception, Baby Steps, Notes from Two Moms, Milk in the Batter, and OhChicken. You’re all it!

And finally, for those who have been interested in seeing the bookshelves that T built (err, assembled–and sorry about referring to myself in the third person), here they are in all their glory with a bonus shot of our little cat, Zoe. For some reason they don’t look nearly as massive in this photo, and I can’t, for the life of me figure out how these books filled a whole ten boxes. There seem to be so few once they’re on the shelves! I will admit that we still have another large bookcase in the office as well as small bookshelves built into the desk and another small bookcase to the right of the desk, but those books filled another four or five boxes. We are a slave to our books. One day I dream of a full room with walls lined with floor to ceiling built-in bookcases and two very comfy reading chairs. Ahhh…that would be lovely.

 

Have a good weekend everyone! And if you made it this far, you get a gold star!

Ouch!

I feel like I’m about eighty right now. I threw out my back. I did this a few days ago when lying on the floor, and I simply shifted the wrong way, and–Pop!–my lower back/hip region was out. Yesterday, I assembled large bookcases (photos still to come), and I moved heavy objects by myself, and now I’m in very bad shape indeed.

As luck would have it, J put her back out doing laundry this weekend, and she found a good chiropractor down the street. She even has a clinic dog who attends to patients in pain! I believe I will be paying her a visit today.

I just can’t believe that we moved everything we owned, and didn’t injur ourselves, but we take on simple everyday tasks, and we get this. Why can’t I ever have interesting or glamorous injury stories?

For anyone interested in obsessing for me, my BBT dropped nearly half a degree yesterday, and it’s back up over another half a degree today. More on that tomorrow.

Unobsessing and Other Topics

Is it weird that I am not at all obsessed about the outcome of this cycle? Perhaps not, considering my utter lack of hope that it was successful, but it’s pretty weird just how much I’m not noticing any pseudo-symptoms. It’s kind of a relief, but at the same time, I wonder if all the thrill is gone from the TWW. I know, I know. Talk to me in a few days when I’m not just 7 DPO, and it will likely be a different story. I hope not, though. I can’t stand to get my hopes up.

In other exciting news–at least for us bibliophiles–we got bookcases today. Multiple big bookcases to house what has become quite a library (all in piles on the floor and in storage bins, mind you)! I will be sure to post photos later once everything is assembled (yes, I have to assemble them), and all the books are sorted. I spent most of yesterday organizing our books into categories, rooms, authors’ last names, level of potential guest enjoyment, etc. We’re admittedly very odd about our books. We love them. At a few points, I was actually overcome with the need to read and read and read until I got through them all. (I’m picturing that tragic Twilight Zone, “Time Enough at Last” as I write this.) It’s a sickness, I know. I plan to get some help one of these days.

On an entirely different note, I’ve made a new friend! Weirdly enough, I responded to an ad a woman placed wanting someone to walk with, and we’ve hit it off. She’s also a newcomer to my little town, although she’s been here for three months. She’s been showing me around, and we took an amazing walk yesterday that led us through vineyards. It was stunning, and today I am sore from our three-mile jaunt. We go again tomorrow, and I’m thrilled. This is a pretty big step for me, the introvert in the relationship. J is usually the one to charm others and make them our friends, so I feel proud of myself in this big-girl, I-just-tied-my-own-shoes sort of way.

And for the final compelling subject of the day: our cats. They won’t go outside. They’re driving me nuts. The two older cats (whom we call the big cats) will sometimes venture onto the front porch at night, but if we close the door, they cry this terrible cry that always makes me give in because I feel that somehow I must be traumatizing them. But they need to go outside and explore. This place is incredibly cat-friendly and cat-safe, but they won’t go out. Our youngest cat (whom we call the little one) won’t even set foot outside because she is terrified (due to the turkey incident, I’m sure). I’m at a loss. It has been over three weeks now, and I never expected that my adventurous indoor/outdoor cats would suddenly become housecats. This is not okay in a two-bedroom apartment where I am constantly tripping over them and where the litterbox must now be changed twice a day! Any suggestions any of you lovely readers may have would be greatly appreciated.

And that, my friends, is the end of my rambling word-spew for today.

Neighborly Acts

J and I have been sitting having a lazy Sunday evening, and a few moments ago, there was a knock at the door. We both looked at each other with this WTF? look on our faces. Who could possibly be knocking on our door?

 I went to the door and peered out the peephole to see our next-door neghbor, so I opened the door, and he handed me a plate of lovely assorted baked goods. Apparently his teenaged daughter went on a baking spree last night, and they thought they should give some to us to welcome us.

I have never in my life been given a plate of cookies or brownies or any other goodies when moving into a new home. Hell, the last place J and I moved into, the neighbors promptly pulled down the tailgates of their giant trucks and popped open some beers to watch the crazy lesbians mow their lawn. One woman across the street smiled broadly upon learning we were finally moving out after seven years. It’s not that we were bad neighbors; we just weren’t gun-toting, duck-shooting, flag-waving hicks like they were. We were freaky queer folk. So no, they didn’t bring us cookies.

 But here, this man and his daughter who share walls with us thought about us, welcomed us, and made us feel like we’re finally home.

Photo Friday: Tranquility

I’m finally settled in enough to take part in the new Photo Friday. This week’s theme resonated with a feeling I’ve had more than ever since we moved: tranquility. Below is my rendering of the theme:

 Pictured is our boy cat, Pierre, who loves our new fireplace. Since it’s been raining, we’ve lit a fire every night, and he loves staring at it, stretching in front of it. The boy is in love with the fire–and so are his human mamas. J will come home from work, and during dinner, we’ll have a fire. We’ll eat, and then she’ll lounge on the floor with Pierre, enjoying the crackle and glow. Unfortunately, the floor seems to have caused my back to go out, so I admire them from the chair or the sofa.

 There are so many elements of our new hometown that make me feel tranquil. Perhaps it’s that everyone is slightly buzzed on really good wine most of the time; perhaps it has more to do with the green rolling hills and temperate climate. Whatever it is, I feel more at peace than ever here, and for that I am ever-so-grateful.

semicolons and inseminations

Wow, I was cranky yesterday! I think I’m in this space where I’m ready for all the trying to be over. I’m normally so patient, but now that we’re settled in our new place, I want our whole new life to begin. I need to get into more of a zen space. I have a feeling that once life calms down even more that this will happen. In the meantime, it’s a little frustrating.

 I was so cranky yesterday that I didn’t really talk about how amusing the whole thing was. I was actually working at my online job when I inseminated. (No, I don’t work for any of those adult sites. ) Instead, I respond to student writing, and I also work live with students on grammar and writing questions in a chatroom type setting. Well, I was working one of these live sessions when the sperm showed up at the door. Once I finished with the current student, I had to quickly get everything under way, so I temporarily closed my chatroom, took my laptop to the bedroom, propped myself up, and injected some DNA. Directly after, I had to get back to work, so I opened my chatroom back up, and as soon as I did, I had another student.

 So there I am, no undergarments on, my butt propped up on a pillow, and the laptop resting on my abdomen, and I was trying to type. It was ridiculous, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I managed to get through the next three hours of my shift (and I did get up after an hour or so), but that one hour was one to remember.

On the ovulation front, my temperature went up again today, and I’m certain that tomorrow, FF will say I ovulated the day before insemination. My intuition says it happened very late that night or early on the morning of insemination, which isn’t ideal but is within the realm of possibility. I’m still promising myself that I’m not going to obsess. Instead, I’m going to evaluate our options for next time and see if J and I can come up with some viable possibilities.

I swear, I’m indifferent

I went to bed late, very late, last night, and I awoke to a slight temperature rise (from 97.58-97.78). Shit. I don’t know if this is really ovulation day or if I ovulated yesterday or if it happened sometime in the night. I don’t know if the temp rise is because I went to bed so late and had wine last night. I just don’t know. What I do know is that sperm arrived at my doorstep this morning, and I used it. I am discouraged but I’m sure I’ll also have loads of phantom symptoms in a few days.

In the meantime, I’m convincing myself of my indifference about this cycle.

 You know, if I look back on my insemination days, very few of them have been positive experiences in terms of timing, the shipments, the whole thing. I really need to work on a Plan B or C or D. J wants me to go to start getting medical assistance, but I’m thrifty, and I like to do things myself. Frankly, I’m at a loss. We’ll see what this TWW brings.

swimming up the coast

I can’t believe it, considering just two posts ago, I was confirming that I was not pregnant, but it’s O time for me again. I forgot how quickly all of this happens when we’re doing this regularly. I’ve been taking OPKs for a few days now, and late this morning had a strong positive. Our swimmers should get here tomorrow, but I’m so scared that this egg is going to pop out before then making it all pointless. I believe I have mentioned before how much I hate this timing part, so I won’t go there again. For now, I’m comforted knowing our sperm will be on their way up the California coast in just a couple of hours.

This will be my first time going through a home insemination without my sweetheart here. She’s got to work all day, and we agreed that I should move things along as soon as our swimmers arive. I will also be working from home, which should be interesting!  Again, I just hope my egg doesn’t pop out too soon. Any “hold it in” vibes you want to send my way would be much appreciated!

Aside from all of the exciting TTC stuff, we’re really settling in here. We love our home and are about 65% moved in. We even have art on the walls! This weekend we did too much shopping, finding some great new bookcases (which we sorely needed for our twelve boxes of books), a potential new sofa suitable for snuggling, and some contenders for a new dining table.  We also had the pleasure of a visit from my brother and his girlfriend. We got to take them wine tasting, which was a blast. Below is a photo from our excursion with them on Saturday. It’s taken just a few minutes from our house. This place is so breathtaking. I love it.

 

 

Alive!

I am still alive, despite the lack of evidence on my blog. J and I had to go clean our old place this weekend. There’s nothing like hanging out in an empty house all weekend to make the new one feel like home. We were so happy to come home to our new place and enjoy the piles of boxes we still have stacked in our dining room.

Now that my period has passed, my hormones are balancing out, and I’m beginning to fall in love with my new home. Last week was difficult. I had some days of pure loneliness when I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to handle this move. I cried more than I would like to admit. This week is different though.

 Yesterday I found my new local market. J and I had found the big names–Safeway, Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s–but I wanted a place where I could buy wonderful local produce (it’s plentiful here), natural foods, great bread, fresh meats, etc. So yesterday I happened into this place about half a mile from our home, and it’s fabulous. It’s a local store, with this lovely homey feel where all the cheeses you can imagine abound, where the scent of fresh bread and flowers fills the air, where local organic produce is piled high. I was in heaven. It’s a silly little thing, really, but this is one of the things I used to imagine when I thought about moving. I do the grocery shopping for the both of us, and I was never happy with our options in the old place. Now, I couldn’t be happier. I can buy any number of really good local wines in the same place where I can buy herbal tinctures, fresh local bread, and good, whole foods. It’s really rather ridiculous how happy I was when I left that place, but I finally did feel that I was home. Did I mention that it was nearly seventy degrees outside? And sunny? Yes, it was lovely.

While at the market, I bought a fresh bottle of Vitex, some good quality fish oil (for those Omega-3s), and I renewed my commitment to making my body healthy and fertile. We’ve been in contact with Mr. G, and with any luck, we should be inseminating at the beginning of next week. Holy cow! I forgot how quickly all of this comes around when the inseminations are happening regularly. For now, I’m going to drink my smoothie and stare out at creek behind our apartment as the sun rises. Life is not so bad. Not so bad at all.

And I’m Out.

So I spotted for three days. I got my hopes up. I took HPTs. They were negative. Now I’ve got full-on cramps and flow, and I’ve come back to reality. Why does my body insist on playing these cruel tricks?

I’m sort of numb about this for some reason. Perhaps it’s the fact that we’ve had so much going on, but I don’t know.  My cycles have been so funky lately that I had a strong sense early on that this one wouldn’t work out, even though our timing was pretty impeccable.  The heavy lifting can’t have helped either.

My goal now is to get my body back in order. I’ve neglected things like my Vitex tincture and the nasty fertility tea in recent months, and I’ve not been walking regularly. These are the things that seem to balance my hormones and make my cycles normal, so it’s time to refocus.